March 16 11

I like celebrities. I like reading about them. I like writing about them. I mean, hell, I even write an entire column devoted to them. But, you guys, there’s a line I don’t like to cross. You see, I like to sit down and chat with celebrities when they want to sit down and chat with me. I like to take red carpet pictures when they want to walk the red carpet and have their pictures taken (with the exception of when Rainn Wilson walked a red carpet with his hands over his head. NOT COOL, Dwight Shrute.) I like to discuss celebrity fashion hits and misses when they know they are dressing up for the public. Are you noticing the theme here???


I don’t believe that celebrities should be photographed taking their garbage out. Or taking their children to school. Or coming out of their dentist’s office. Yes, one can argue that celebrities are “public domain” and learning to dodge the paparazzi is the price that they pay for their fame and fortune.

I disagree.

There is a line.

And you know where that line is crossed?

Stars’ Cellulite SHOCKERS! Those little ripples of flesh aren’t uncommon. But you won’t believe who in Hollywood has them – including some young starlets.

Star Magazine. March 14, 2011.

EIGHT PAGES devoted to this shocking discovery. Surprise! People are not perfect.

Eight pages.

Eight pages of phrases like lumpy legs and saddlebags and cottage-cheese thighs and jiggle, jiggle and couch-potato flab.

Eight pages of pictures of Halle Berry and Tori Spelling and Heidi Montag and Eva Longoria and Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and Kate Moss.

And LeAnn Rimes.

LeAnn Rimes.

I don’t know if any of you are familiar with what LeAnn Rimes looks like right now.

And you want to know why she probably looks like this right now?

Because she opens up magazines and sees things like PHOTOS OF HER BLOODY CELLULITE. Because she reads articles that say things like “Oh, those dreaded dimples!” and that it “MIGHT BE TIME TO CUT BACK” on the peanut butter pretzel nuggets that she splurges on.

I am a woman. I have days where I hate the scale, hate the mirror, hate all of my clothing. I have days when I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I have moments that I wish I was thinner, more muscular, more fit. And there are days when I splurge on thing that are way worse than peanut butter pretzel nuggets.

But there’s no one hiding behind bushes taking hi-res photos of me as I walk down the street. There’s no one opening them up on a giant screen. There’s no one circling and highlighting my dimpled skin.

There’s no one publishing these photos in a magazine for all the world to see.

And for this I will continue to thank my lucky stars.

And worry for the actual stars.

  1. They could devote an entire 8-page spread to my cellulite.

    But I think that’s not the point.


    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot o on March 16, 2011
  2. I agree – it’s so gross. And so unnecessary. What is the point? Seeing a famous person’s cellulite doesn’t make me feel better about my cellulite. Everyone poops. Do I want to see a picture of a celebrity’s poop? Nope.


    Comment by hillary on March 16, 2011
  3. AMEN. Great post, Ali!


    Comment by Karen Sugarpants on March 16, 2011
  4. Great post. Remember Britney Murphy? Yeah, she’s dead.

    I wonder if these people even realize how unhealthy it is to dwell on others appearances and criticize and demean. Ugh.


    Comment by Erin on March 16, 2011
  5. Well said. Now the real problem though, is that people are dumb enough to buy that crap which just encourages Star to keep printing trash!


    Comment by Katy on March 16, 2011
  6. Completely agree! Great post!


    Comment by Erin R on March 16, 2011
  7. Exactly. Just plain mean, thats all it is.


    Comment by Amy on March 16, 2011
  8. I’ve never seen cellulite on a woman and thought that it made her unattractive. It’s just a part of being human.


    Comment by Avitable on March 17, 2011
  9. I’d be more shocked if they didn’t have cellulite. I am sincerely glad that I’m a nobody and have never opened a magazine to see a picture of myself taking out the garbage in my pajamas with a messy ponytail and all the “problem spots” on my body circled and highlighted. I can’t imagine having to be that conscious of my appearance all the freaking time. No wonder half of them are nuts.


    Comment by Jessica on March 17, 2011
  10. I completely agree. I am not sure which magazine it was recently that had Kim Kardashian on the front saying “I have cellulite, too!” All I could think was there are people out in the world that actually think she doesn’t? Of course she does, we all do! We have gone so off track in idolizing super svelte and touched up versions of stars that we forget they are human? Ugh.


    Comment by Christina on March 17, 2011
  11. And it that Tori Spelling on the bottom of that page. And gal who’s so skinny it makes my joints ache.


    Comment by {sue} on March 18, 2011
  12. Clearly the cellulite in my fingers is causing all the typos!


    Comment by {sue} on March 18, 2011
  13. AMEN. I love this, Ali. It’s so true.

    (That photo of LeAnn made me wince. Poor girl.)


    Comment by Angella on March 18, 2011
  14. Great post!

    It’s reading articles like this that always make me look at my stretch marks on my tummy in the mirror and think how ugly they are. I never think of the beautiful little life that caused those, I always just see the ugly – as hard as I try not to.

    Shame on them for writing such a horrible article!


    Comment by Nikki on March 18, 2011
  15. funny thing is, once you have it…you have it! if you try to get skinnier the dimples just get bigger. who cares i say. halle berry is still gorj dimples and all…


    Comment by Julie on March 19, 2011
  16. are you serious 8 pages critiquing celeb cellulite gosh get a life papparazi and mag editors ! who cares we all have imperfections how silly i don;t care if they have cellulite and why would that be my business or concern anyhow


    Comment by LAVANDULA on June 1, 2011
  17. Medical practitioners, specifically cosmetic surgeons, know how to get rid of cellulite by means of liposuction. Liposuction is a surgical procedure which involves the removal of fats through suction, allowing for a trim and very shapely body. While liposuction may be the best solution on getting rid of cellulites, it will always have risks since it’s a surgical procedure.


    Comment by No More Cellulite on June 29, 2011
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