February 28 11

Wow. Well, that was, by far, the most underwhelming Oscars to ever be.

Predictable.

(YES. It was. And don’t try to tell me that ooooooh, Tom Hooper’s Director win over Fincher’s was a big surprise, because, while yes, I assumed that David Fincher would be bringing home a Best Director statue for The Social Network, every other award was unsurprising.)

(You know how I know it was predictable? I WON the pool.)

(I do, however, love that despite everyone on earth knowing that Melissa Leo was walking away with that golden god, she was shocked enough by her win to drop an f-bomb on stage. “When I watched Kate two years ago it looked so f**king easy!”)

(I guess the Oscars doesn’t have a 5-second delay.)

(I guess that’s why Timberlake wasn’t hosting.)

Wrong choice of hosts.

(Anne Hathaway’s line flub and her quick “Drink at home!” was a lovely shout-out to me, I thought, but for the most part, she spent her evening awkwardly trying to crack jokes, sing songs, and then there was that whole trying-to-make-James-Franco-look-a-little-bit-less-inebriated task.)

(A daunting one, if you ask me.)

(No eye contact. dilated pupils. Falling asleep on stage. Wearing a dress. Franco had all the signs.)

(Of the worst Oscar host ever. Did he even WANT to be there?)

(I did appreciate Anne Hathaway’s “microphones will get smaller,” and her brown duck dance routine while Mr. Franco wore a unitard.)

(Unitards are always funny.)

(Sarah Silverman and Leslie Mann. Better choice.)

(Jon Hamm and his salami? EVEN BETTER CHOICE.)

Overall Weirdness.

(Marisa Tomei’s dress. The Back To the Future shout-out. Celine Dion. Billy Crystal. I was a little worried I was in the wrong decade.)

I’m currently working on my fashion police-ities for Juice, as, obviously, I have a lot to say about many of the dresses including how SHOCKED I was to actually love Kelly Osbourne’s dress. I liked a lot; I didn’t like a lot. I had mixed feelings about many, I am having nightmares about a few.

But, honestly, for me, the best part of the entire night was this moment…

Where the adorable Hailee Steinfeld, at 14, makes her first stop on the red carpet, only to be told that she has FIVE HUNDRED more members of the press to talk to. 500. You see that look she’s giving? That’s called SHEER EFFING TERROR. She wants to drop the Melissa Leo F-bomb right there.

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  1. Unitards make the world, and a boooring Oscars, a better place.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot o on February 28, 2011
  2. For being so bad, James Franco fills out the unitard nicely.

    [Reply]

    Comment by zeghsy on February 28, 2011
  3. Not so sure about Kelly’s hair. Just don’t love the colour.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Carol on February 28, 2011
  4. Apparently only Canada doesn’t have the delay, since we had it bleeped out.

    Also, Anne, STOP WITH THE WOO HOOING!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on February 28, 2011
  5. REALLY? ours was NOT bleeped!

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on February 28, 2011
  6. nope. we saw it live – eff bomb and all. it was wonderful.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Christine on February 28, 2011
  7. There’s really not enough unitard in the world. That show could have only been better had EVERYONE worn unitards.

    [Reply]

    Comment by sam {temptingmama} on February 28, 2011
  8. I would pay good money to see Colin Firth in a unitard. I’m just saying.

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on February 28, 2011
  9. We turned it off halfway to watch Mad Men.

    I bet Anne Hathaway was THRILLED when it was all over. Sadly she won’t wake up to find it was ALL a horrible dream.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy on February 28, 2011
  10. i was totally underwhelmed by a lot of the dresses, were you? and anne hathaway and james franco did a meh job. nothing i’d want to see again. and i’m kinda pissed that “the kids are alright” didn’t take home more statues. did you see how annoyed darren aronofsky was when he didn’t win for best director?? he really thought he was taking that oscar home, and the fact that he didn’t-neckerchief and all- made me smile a little. winter’s bone got ripped off, and i think michelle williams should’ve won for blue valentine, but whatevs. i’m no movie industry insider. in fact, why am i writing this comment like i know what i’m talking about?? i’m an armchair oscars quarterback, i’m sorry. end rant.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tricia on February 28, 2011
  11. I missed it, unfortunately. I’m pissed about the K-k-k-king’s Speech winning over Social Network.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on March 1, 2011
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