Monthly Archives: February 2011

And Ricky Gervais is Somewhere. Cackling.

Wow. Well, that was, by far, the most underwhelming Oscars to ever be. Predictable. (YES. It was. And don’t try to tell me that ooooooh, Tom Hooper’s Director win over Fincher’s was a big surprise, because, while yes, I assumed that David Fincher would be bringing home a Best Director…

How To Become a Pageant Mom in Ten Easy Steps.

1. You must have THE CRAZY EYES. 2. You must have “prayed and prayed and prayed that God would give you Miss America.” 3. You must tell everyone that “pageants are a good stepping stool for a future career in modeling.” 4. You must be able to teach your child…

Spins a Web, Any Size.

Can we talk about Isabella’s irrational fear of spiders for a moment? Irrational fears are not new for Isabella. She was once afraid of Humpty Dumpty. And then there was the whole Burning Bush situation. And there was the time that her closet was talking to her. And, you know,…

In 6th grade, I went to see New Kids on the Block in concert…

Oh yes I did. I wore my black leggings and converse all-star hi-tops and my sister’s giant down-to-my-knees black-and-white houndstooth sweater and my black Joey Jeremiah hat over my horrific perm. I was a big fan of that horrible hat. (Yes. I know. There are NO words.) I sang through…

Late.

Well, this weekend started with a pregnancy test. A negative one. By Friday, when I was officially 6 days late, I sent my husband to Rexall to both refill my prescription for Tricyclen Lo and to buy a two-pack of pregnancy tests. Yes, the pharmacist realized the irony of the situation (“Well,…

Write The End. Destroy Some Chips. Win $25,000.

We are big fans of Doritos at our house. The truth is, we are big fans of any snack that leaves our fingers orange and cheesy. We have tried every flavor. Cool Ranch. Sweet Chili Heat. Zesty Taco. Spicy Nacho. Jalapeno. Even Cheeseburger. Yes, even Cheeseburger. 99.9% of the time…

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