January 26 11

Oh. Are you in for a treat here. When I was at my mom’s in the summer I found my entire adolescence packed neatly into a giant cardboard box at the back of the closet in my childhood bedroom. There were pictures. Report cards. Mix tapes. Papers I wrote. Yearbooks. School newspapers. And then…

THE JACKPOT.

16-year-old Ali would be mortified to know that I am about to share her deepest, most angsty thoughts. If you have lady parts, you know of what I speak. The poetry written across pages of spiral notebooks while you should have been paying attention in Chemistry…but, you know, the chemistry with the boy who didn’t call was something was way more important. I mean, this was world-ending stuff.

Yes it was.

…and now 32-year-old Ali is slightly mortified too.

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  1. Thank God you didn’t have a knife near to end it all.

    OH, THE HUMANITY!

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    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot o on January 26, 2011
  2. Oh, poor 16 year old Ali. Did he call at least?

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    Comment by Jana A on January 26, 2011
  3. Don’t keep us hanging — did he call?

    Also, I have a big box of shame in our basement that needs a burn barrel sendoff….oh the embarrassment.

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    Comment by HollowSquirrel on January 26, 2011
  4. my best friend has sworn to burn all of my journals the instant I die.

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    Comment by Katie on January 26, 2011
  5. LMAO!! I’d be very mortified if I ever found my old journals.

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    Comment by AmazingGreis on January 26, 2011
  6. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by alimartell, Erin Little. Erin Little said: RT @alimartell: ….and here it is. Oh. My. God. http://bit.ly/hrClEh This is oh, so familiar to all ex teen girls [...]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » You Can Cut This Angst With a Knife. -- Topsy.com on January 26, 2011
  7. I love finding embarrassing things from my youth. That’s some great angst there. Here’s mine: http://bit.ly/cbbWcx

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    Comment by Avitable on January 26, 2011
  8. Adam. LOVE IT.

    I hope other people will share theirs. I love this shit.

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    Comment by ali on January 26, 2011
  9. I’m sure I wrote stuff like this as well. I remember a story I wrote that was read to the class in 9th grade. Students loved it, teacher had a smirk. I get it, now.

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    Comment by Heather on January 26, 2011
  10. Oh my. I want to give 16-year-old Ali a great big hug and tell her that it’s going to be alright.

    I put my old diary in a “time capsule” in the walls of my childhood home that my parents have since sold. WHAT A STUPID IDEA.

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    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on January 26, 2011
  11. Oooh… that’s awesome. Thank you for sharing. I’m going to have to dig up some of the angst ridden crap I wrote — and I wrote a LOT.

    @Katie – thanks for the idea. I’m adding that to my will; anything that *resembles* a journal shall be burned in a bonfire. There will be marshmallows.

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    Comment by Jessica on January 26, 2011
  12. I only ever had one diary, in which I wrote two entries, then found out that my mum read it. People wonder why I have trust issues.

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    Comment by jayne on January 27, 2011
  13. OMG, love it!
    I wish I could share something of mine, but I think I may have destroyed any teen angst evidence with my uniform burning after Gr12 graduation. (Actually my uniform melted — it was made of polyester.)

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    Comment by Nenette on January 27, 2011
  14. amazing! One year I wrote my entire journal in code and now I have no idea what I was saying.

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    Comment by Scarlet on January 27, 2011
  15. In code????
    Ahahahahah! That’s awesome.

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    Comment by ali on January 27, 2011
  16. Oh, boy… I have an entire journal of angst. That was great!

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    Comment by Anne on January 27, 2011
  17. OH dear lord. You just resurrected a long buried memory of some of the cheese-tastic crap I wrote about boys. I’m cringing just thinking about it. I must rebury this memory. Damn.

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    Comment by Redneck Mommy on January 27, 2011
  18. This makes me want to go back through my old diaries and notebooks to see what nonsense I wrote.

    What gems we came up with in high school.

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    Comment by Ella on January 27, 2011
  19. I think I wrote one similar…we all did , I suppose! Except I remember lines like, ” I can feelthe splash of your blood and froth and the hot wet slap of shredded cloth. Sweet Baby Jesus!!

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    Comment by marci on January 27, 2011
  20. I think I’m the only girl who didn’t write angsty poetry when I was a teen. (I have always and still do hate poetry.)

    I do have the “notes” we passed with friends in the halls from high school which are just kind of ridiculous.

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    Comment by Kristabella on January 27, 2011
  21. I found my diaries recently at my parents house. They were written when I was 14 up to 16 .. juicy stuff .. such confused, emotional minds we had! So, did he ever call? since you never sent the note?!

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    Comment by sarah on January 27, 2011
  22. think of how lucky we are…these comments we wrote (i, too, have the angst diaries!) are private…not all over the internet forever.

    well, _now_ they are i suppose! :-)

    [Reply]

    Comment by julie on January 28, 2011
  23. I happened upon a word document I wrote when I was 18 entitled, “What I Want From Life.”
    Holy fuck…

    [Reply]

    Comment by MonsteRawr on January 28, 2011
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