(YES. It’s not a word. So, trolly troll troll…I know your first instinct is to leave me a comment and say something to the tune of, “Ali. You are awesome. Resoluting is not a word.” BUT, la la la la, I have learned a fancy new trick. It’s called “BLOCKING AN IP ADDRESS” and so no matter how many fake names and email address you leave, you won’t be able to leave any comments here. Better get yourself a new IP address, STAT. I can’t wait to play this game. It’ll be like Dexter when he’s hunting his prey. Which leads me to…)
1. Don’t let the trolls win. WordPress gave me a delete button, Twitter gave me a unfollow button, Facebook gave me a block button for a reason. In 2011, I will not be afraid to use them.
2. Use my phone more. I pay way too many Canadian dollars a month to have this lovely little smart phone, and I have probably made six phone calls from it, and I am pretty sure they were all work calls or they were to Bell. I need to call my mom. My other mom. My mother in law. My friends who are far away. My friends who are close by but don’t use social media. My sisters and sister in laws.
3. Actually bake the cookie dough and the brownie batter.
4. Purchase the perfect LBD.
5. Stop shrinking things in the laundry.
6. Use better passwords than “password.”
7. Teach the world the difference between effect and affect. See also: it and it’s. See also: How to use ME and I when it is appropriate, OMG.
8. Take a real photography class. Learn things about light. Find a sugar daddy to buy me a 24-70mm f2.8 lens for my camera. Use it regularly. Continue to endlessly annoy my children by shoving my camera in their faces.
(*PLEASE NO PICTURES*
9. Stop watching Grey’s Anatomy.
10. Stop singing along when that dumbass Ke$ha song comes on the radio…I got Jesus on my neck-a-lace. Hold me.