December 21 10

All I want for Christmas is to ban some things from my Twitter and Facebook streams:


Awesomesauce. Which, apparently, has an even uglier stepsister…LAMESAUCE. Ouch. Ears. Bleeding.
Um…WHAT??!?!

Made of awesome. See also: Full of win.

XXX shades of awesome. Usually it’s eleventy. Sometimes it’s eleventy billion.

Rad. There are, of course, exceptions to this one. Some people can totally use rad and sound, well, like the word was made for them. Take my friend, Kerri, for example. I think it’s a West Coast thing, actually.

Hot mess. Can we please put this one to rest? PLEASE.

Totes. Please to include all other forms of shortening. Cardi? Really? I’m looking at you, Old Navy.

My ovaries are hurting. Okay, look, I really like babies, especially the cute ones like Ollie, OMG. But do you want to know what happens to my ovaries when I look at him? Hell if I know…I don’t even know where the crap my ovaries ARE. I do know that I really want to sniff him and squish him and maybe steal him a little bit.

Stabby.

LOLZ. And any variation of LOLspeak.

Epic fail. Or really anything epic actually.

(Please note: while I am here banning all sorts of things, I will also confess that I am a user and an abuser of many, many phrases that people probably hate. I’m just saying. I’m not going to lie. Blergh. I know, right? True story. OMG. Dude. It’s only fair that I tell you this right up front. Hypocrisy, for the win. Or something.)
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What are YOU ridding the world of today?
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  1. I’m going to have to disagree with some of these.

    Also, my friend is a middle school teacher and she says “totes” a lot, and she’s the only one that is allowed. Because it makes her seem cool to her kids.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on December 21, 2010
  2. What are you disagreeing with?

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on December 21, 2010
  3. I want to rid the world of “”

    It makes me feel stabby.

    [Reply]

    Comment by loren on December 21, 2010
  4. That’s supposed to say HUGS. As in the (((HUGS))) or something. If any of those show up.

    [Reply]

    Comment by loren on December 21, 2010
  5. This.

    Makes me insane.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Marinka on December 21, 2010
  6. Damn. I like stabby. The rest of them can go. Although, guilty as charged.

    [Reply]

    Comment by anymommy on December 21, 2010
  7. I completely agree with you on the awesomesauce/lamesauce and the oh my ovaries.

    Please people, stop using nom nom nom. Thank you.

    (confession: I am guilty of using FTW & HUGS. sorry)

    [Reply]

    Comment by mommabird2345 on December 21, 2010
  8. I really like stabby! tho I rarely use it. The others ITA.
    Oh yeah – nom nom nom. thats just gross. (dang it, I think I somehow changed languages on my Mac)

    [Reply]

    Comment by monstergirlee on December 21, 2010
  9. I use tons of these– though, in my defense, most of them I’ve been using for like seven YEARS and just became popular recently. I’m pretty sure I have a prom entry from, like, 2000, calling my dress “eleventy billion shades of awesome for the win”.

    [Reply]

    Comment by becca on December 21, 2010
  10. It seems like there are so many blogging trends and I get tired of them too.

    The. Period. After. Every. Word. Just. To. Make. A. Point. Was. Neat. Five. Years. Ago. When. Dooce. Invented. It. But. Now. It. Is. Dead.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amanda Brown on December 21, 2010
  11. Can we PLEASE ban FML?

    “My mom called and I dropped my coffee answering my phone” does NOT warrant an FML. Neither does 99.9% of the other stuff people add “FML” to. We get it. You’re having a bad day or a bad moment. Chances are your life is still worth living.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Brittany on December 21, 2010
  12. Amanda! I totally know what you mean. I like them at first and use them…and then sort of, just, tire of them.

    Though I sometimes do still use the pediod emphasis thing. Even, gulp, in this post. hahaha.

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on December 21, 2010
  13. Becca…if you used them in 2000, you win the internet. PS. Were you using that one back then too?
    LOVE YOU. The truth is, in my book, you can do no wrong. Heh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on December 21, 2010
  14. I use hot mess a lot. And though I don’t often use stabby, I say stab, a lot because sometimes it what I want to do to people.

    And Ollie usually makes me ovulate, he doesn’t make my ovaries hurt.

    Though I’ve been known to abuse them, the hashtags really bug the hell out of me. If your tweet is about nothing in particular, you don’t need to put a #whatev at the end. (Stab stab stab)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Overflowing Brain on December 21, 2010
  15. Oh, I am a huge fan of STABBING people. In fact, I often want to stab people in the throat and I love to talk about it. Hahaha.

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on December 21, 2010
  16. But what if it is fucking epic? I use a few of those mostly hot mess but I am so sick of heh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mandi Bone on December 21, 2010
  17. Though guilty of some (ahem. Because I *AM* full of the awesome. But not awesomesauce, because that’s just dumb.), I must admit that these are my top 2:
    1) The exclamation point/one/1 thing. What IS that??!!!!111ONE1!! (seriously – what is that? I don’t even know!)
    2) The intentional misspelling of “the.” As is, “I was cruising around on teh internetz…”
    3) OK, I lied. Calling it the internetz. Top 3. There you go.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Becky on December 21, 2010
  18. This list cracks me up.

    I’ll give up all of them except stabby. I can’t give up stabby. Sorry dude.

    Am so glad you didn’t include dude on here. I will never give that one up.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Issa on December 21, 2010
  19. Hilar.

    [Reply]

    Comment by NaomiJesson on December 21, 2010
  20. YES. I don’t know what makes me happier: This list, or that I get a public pass for “rad.”

    Another word to add to the “Quick, let’s burn it!” list: BEWBS.

    What I WISH I was ridding the world of today? Corporate Christmas cards. THE HORROR.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kerri Anne on December 21, 2010
  21. I LOVE ELEVENTY BILLION. LOOOOOOOOVE. You will not discourage me, Ali. Dammit.

    [Reply]

    Comment by whoorl on December 21, 2010
  22. Ali, this hurts my feelinfs in an monumental way. You removed a good chunk of my slang vernacular in one swoop!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rae Ann on December 21, 2010
  23. Any and all use of LOLZ or ‘I can haz’ talk makes me (stabby) crazy. I’d like to see those wiped out completely.

    [Reply]

    Comment by fadkog on December 21, 2010
  24. Amazeballs needs to go the fuck away.

    Also, glad you added elevety to the list. That shit annoys me. IT’S NOT A NUMBER!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Home Sweet Sarah on December 21, 2010
  25. OMG, Obvs, I totes use phrases that I think are teh awesome, but, bee tee dub, I don’t want to make you stabby because that would totes be an epic fail.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on December 21, 2010
  26. ‘FTW!’

    And ‘preggers.’

    [Reply]

    Comment by lu on December 21, 2010
  27. I hate many of these, but dammit, I use eleventy. The one I hate the most is when people use stupid names for their significant others. I’m on board with initials or what have you, but “Bubba” or “Boppy” and all that shit needs to stop it NOW.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy --- Just A Titch on December 21, 2010
  28. I use so many of these, but like Becca, I’ve been using them forever. Because I’m all rad like that. Heh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Grumble Girl on December 21, 2010
  29. i think that putting a period after every word in a sentence is okay, because we are essentially talking to each other on twitter and you sometimes need to use alternative punctuation to get across how you would be saying something to someone in real life. i also am okay with “i know, right?” for the same reason — it’s like nodding wide eyed at a friend in conversation. the rest can go.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Erin (swonderful) on December 21, 2010
  30. “epic” anything is just painfully annoying. The use of the word makes my teeth ache.

    [Reply]

    Comment by averagesupermom on December 21, 2010
  31. I’m please to see you are holding strong in the anti-lamesauce position.

    [Reply]

    Comment by slynnro on December 21, 2010
  32. ALRIGHT. Now listen. You are basically taking away half of my vocabulary here. I refuse refuse to give up eleventy billion. I also will hold on to “full of win”. I’m also holding on to stabby and epic. I don’t care what you say.

    Oh, and today, I’m ridding the world of Bears fans. That is all.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on December 21, 2010
  33. I would like to rid the entire world of “a-whole-nother”.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Momo Fali on December 21, 2010
  34. Because I love you, I will not limit my internet-speak. I may increase it JUST for you.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on December 21, 2010
  35. I would pay people to stop
    “praying to baby jeebus”. No religious reason, just that it needs to stop.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amanda on December 22, 2010
  36. Chillax. I hate that hybrid.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Anne on December 22, 2010
  37. Rad is in my blood. (West Coast indeed).
    Goodbye Nom nom nom!

    [Reply]

    Comment by suzanne on December 23, 2010
  38. I agree with all of the above, but I also have to add “food baby”. Gross, just gross.

    [Reply]

    Comment by mommabird2345 on December 26, 2010
  39. If people don’t quit using the word preggers in any form, it may very well be my cause of death.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amanda on December 27, 2010
  40. I do like awesomesauce.. but “sky’s” drives me nuts. There is only one sky.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Susan Knight on December 27, 2010
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