December 9 10

(…no really. I’m asking. Because I have no idea what happens in Vegas.)

I assume that Las Vegas smells like sex and money and desperation and there are lots of Rain Men running about counting cars and all of the cars have naked Senor Chang’s in their trunks and, obviously, there are tigers in all of the bathrooms. Also, there must be some fear and loathing there, right? And maybe a heist of some sort. And the Griswolds are there watching Jessie Spano do naughty (and unintentionally hilarious) things and Nic Cage is jumping out of planes full of Elvis impersonators.

I’m right…right?

I mean, that’s totally what Vegas is like, right?

Since I have never been, I really have zero clue what to expect. I was in Reno once, and spent three hours in a casino at the Roulette table slowly working my way through the $50 limit I allowed myself. And I once got kicked out of the casino in Lake Tahoe, because, I was, um, in high school. And I once went to a casino party in my sister-in-law’s basement. So, obviously, I am a super huge expert on casinos. I don’t know how to play blackjack and I don’t know how to play craps and I don’t even know how to play poker. BUT, I hear that you can play WAR in casinos and, you know, THAT is a game for me. I can kick Emily’s butt at war, so obviously, I’m going to get totally rich at the war tables in Vegas and I will pay off the minivan and be able to buy something that doesn’t scream MOM when I pull out of my driveway.

Oh wait. It’s Spit that I always win.

I am doomed.

(Note to self: Self, spend three hours in a casino at the Roulette table and slowly work your way through the $50 limit you allow yourself.)

The truth, though, is that my virgin voyage to Sin City is about so much more than losing money and stuffing my gob and giant-ass buffets. Nope.

I’m there to watch one of my most favorite people in the entire world say I (STILL) DO.

I’m there to spend time with people that I don’t see enough.

I’m there to hug some people I love.

I’m there to attend Stripper 101.

I’m there to introduce my chef dad to some very important people.

I’m there to spend some time in above zero weather.

I’m there to play the Are-You-A-Hooker-Or-Are-You-Just-A-Wannabe game with ShaunaGlenn.

Apparently, I’m there to see some cowboy hats…word is that the rodeo is in town. (rawr.)

I’m there to spend a couple days without having to drive carpool.

I’m there to have an excuse to wear this.

I can’t wait.

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  1. I think Vegas isn’t going to be ready for the likes of Ali Martell.

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    Comment by Avitable on December 9, 2010
  2. I need to know where that adorable shirt is from! Have a great time, Vegas is a crazy place.

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    Comment by andrea on December 9, 2010
  3. You will have a great time! I went once in June when it was 110 degrees. Thus time if year sounds great!

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    Comment by Tammi Marie on December 9, 2010
  4. You know my first trip to Vegas I totally saw a hooker “bathe” herself using water from a hose outside our hotel at like 8:00 in the morning. Best. Thing. Ever.

    I obviously wish the same for you.

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    Comment by Jen on December 9, 2010
  5. JEN. OMG.
    That is the best thing ever.

    I am weeping that you are not going to be with me this weekend. SOBS.

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    Comment by ali on December 9, 2010
  6. DO NOT PLAY WAR. please.
    please do call the “GIRLS GILRS GIRLS in 20 minutes” van number you will see countless times.
    please have a grey goose and lemonade for me. please buy something awesome from the million of fancy stores.
    and play number 11 at roulette.

    [Reply]

    Comment by obabe on December 9, 2010
  7. ENJOY.
    I can’t wait to go to Vegas someday.

    You’ll have to let me know what to do!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Ella on December 10, 2010
  8. Definitely visit the fountains at the Bellagio (they start at 3:00 pm and go until 1:00 am or something), and there are some amazing “non adult” things like roller coasters and such (New York, NY, or the Stratosphere). And the inside of Paris is gorgeous, ditto with Venice. Caesar’s Palace has a Serendipity III outside on Las Vegas Blvd and their frozzzzen hot chocolate is DIVINE. At the southern end of the Blvd is the famous “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign which is really quite small, but iconic.

    I’m not a drinker or a gambling or a clubber or a stripper–so my Vegasness may be a bit “lame” by some standards, but there are so many awesome things there! Have a blast!

    [Reply]

    Comment by heidikins on December 10, 2010
  9. I love that top. LOVE.

    I hope y’all are having the most amazing time. Give everyone kisses.

    love you

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rachel on December 11, 2010
  10. Vegas. Ah, I miss Vegas.
    I loved that medieval casino where you eat without utensils and your serving people joust for you. I loved just walking down the hot sunny strip in April — while everyone back home in Winnipeg were still freezing their asses — toward the little church on Easter Sunday (I was still a good catholic girl at the time) and NOT be given one of those hooker pamphlets every 2 meters. I loved stuffing my face with seafood at the Bally’s buffet, going back to the hotel for a short rest up before heading back out for the fun nightlife, only to fall asleep and wake up with a buffet hangover the next morning. Good times.
    Have fun, Miss Ali!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on December 14, 2010
  11. Never wanted to go to Vegas, until we got to go for a conference. Had way too much fun, more than expected. The Man is addicted to Roulette cause of Vegas too. App on iphone. Just catching up on my reading…um, and noticed you had my whole xmas wardrobe. Heh. I bought those tops too 40% off at Jacob! Hahaha! Easty *ahem* lost her cookies on the gold-ish one.

    [Reply]

    Comment by NaomiJesson on December 20, 2010
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