I.. - Cheaper Than Therapy Cheaper Than Therapy

…think that leggings should NEVER be worn as pants. If when you ask yourself, “Self…am I an Olympic speed skater?” and the answer is no, I should not ever see your ass or your crotch when you are wearing leggings. This isn’t ‘Nam. There are rules.

…hate swimming.

…am kind of in love with Jesse Eisenberg. I want to bake him a pie. AND buy him a hoodie.

…think Jersey Shore is genius.

…got banged.

…drink my coffee with skim milk and splenda. And usually manage to make a large coffee last all day long, mostly by reheating it in the microwave. At least thrice. Sometimes more.

…need more Jacob Ben Israel in my life.

…bleed green and gold. #PACKERS

…will never, ever say no to a cupcake.

…didn’t love The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

…love Nibs, but cannot bring myself to eat anything else cherry-flavored.

…still cannot get enough of Betty White. Put her in every movie, I say! She will never jump the shark in my books.

…am embarrassed by how much Ed Hardy is worn by the Moms (and the Dads, OMG) in the school parking lot. In fact, I’m embarrassed by how much Ed Hardy is worn by anyone. ANYWHERE. Including Zoo Atlanta.

…am annoyed that radio stations play the same 9 songs on a constant loop. I mean, I was in total love with that Eminem/Rihanna song and now, I swear, my ears bleed whenever it comes on the radio (which is every 26 minutes, roughly).

…can’t really believe that I liked a Rihanna song.

…am always inappropriately dressed for the weather. I leave the house in a wool sweater and tights and boots and it ends up being 86 degrees outside. I leave the house in a sundress and it ends up being 45 degrees. Maybe I should start checking the weather report more often.

…don’t really understand why it’s called a DVR in the states and a PVR in Canada.

…love that Isabella doesn’t say Phineas and Ferb. Instead, she says “Vineas and Verb.” I will never tell her that she’s wrong.

…am pretty sure that Spongebob Squarepants is the work of the devil.

…really want to see that Joaquin Phoenix movie. I really don’t even care that it was all a hoax. In fact, it kind of makes me want to see it more. I have kind of had a thing for him since way back in the day when he was in Space Camp and was called Leaf Phoenix and not Joaquin.

…am unreasonably saddened by the loss of Ms. Blankenship. She died like she lived: Surrounded by the people she answered phones for. Also, I kind of want to steal her glasses.