August 4 10

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s this small (2,500 people ZOMG) little conference going on this weekend in New York. You have have seen one or two (thousand) tweets about it. You may have read five (million) posts about what to pack or what to wear or what to expect or, you know, basically how not to be a douche this weekend. I figured that instead of writing a post about BlogHer, I’d write a post about MYSELF, since, you know, I’m excellent at doing that. But also, because there’s a good chance that I may meet you for the first time, and you know, it may be helpful to have

The five-minute guide to Alimartell:

If I could, I would dress like Betty Draper all the livelong day; I’d wear shirtdresses and cardigans and pearls.

I have just started season 4 of Dexter, so please don’t spoil it for me.

I have an exciting new job over at urbanmoms.ca and I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

My biggest pet peeve is when my children chew in my ear. Or maybe when someone’s pants are just a wee bit too short.

Fargo, Sleepers, The Godfather II, Back to the Future, and Almost Famous pretty much round out my top five movies.

I can still fit into the dress I wore to my Bat Mitzvah. And sometimes I wear it, just for fun.

My glasses are cooler than yours.

I don’t like boats. Or ferries. Or cruiseships. Or anything that moves on a body of water. If you force me to get on one, you better have some xanax along with your flip camera.

The word SWELLS gives me the hebbie jeebies.

I don’t drink enough water.

I am oddly attracted to Sean Penn. And Zac Efron.

There is little in life that scares me more than clowns. or vomiting. or Benjamin Linus.

The literal video edition of Total Eclipse of the Heart is my absolute favorite thing on the internet ever.

My first crush was on Donny Osmond. I still occasionally have inappropriate dreams about him.

I am shorter than you think.

There is no way you can dance worse than I do. BUT, I can do the entire Thriller dance.

I have zero alcohol tolerance, which is why I will probably be giving you my drink tickets.

History is like porn to me, and I watch the History Channel more than the average person probably should.

Good Times is one of my most favorite shows to watch.

These are my top fictional five characters.

I eat cereal for dinner. A lot.

I add random yiddish words into my lexicon. A lot.

This is what I look like. (and yes, I WILL be wearing this dress this weekend)

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  1. Just look at how gorgeous you are! Can’t wait to hear about your new job at urbanmoms.ca, congrats!

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    Comment by Amy on August 4, 2010
  2. Cool…I’ll see if I can pick you out of the crowd by dressing like a clown and throwing up.

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    Comment by muskrat on August 4, 2010
  3. SIGH. SIIIIGGGHHHHH.

    Have fun! xoxo

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    Comment by Meghan on August 4, 2010
  4. I’ll catch you the next time around, lady… and CLUTCH MAH PEARLS, but we *might* be wearing the same outfit, throwing out words like “punim” and “incendiary”… Dy-no-mite!! (PS – in the future, I’ll take your drink tix, because I’m small-like-you but totally lush-ous.)

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    Comment by Grumble Girl on August 4, 2010
  5. You are soooo wonderful.

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    Comment by jennifer on August 4, 2010
  6. My pants are always way too long because my legs are always way too short. Am I safe?

    See you soon!

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    Comment by Maggie, dammit on August 4, 2010
  7. I hate that I’m missing this! :(

    But I have to say the literal video for “Take On Me” is my favorite on YouTube. :)

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    Comment by Darcey on August 4, 2010
  8. Can’t wait to smoosh on you!

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    Comment by Shauna on August 4, 2010
  9. super SUUUUUPER excited to hug your neck tomorrow!

    you forgot to mention you do a MEAN imitation of Kevin from The Office.

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    Comment by Angie Pangie on August 4, 2010
  10. And you won’t poop this entire weekend. Can’t wait to see you again!

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    Comment by Avitable on August 4, 2010
  11. And she really is that adorable in person!

    SQUEEEE!

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    Comment by Kristabella on August 4, 2010
  12. You’re right, the literal vid of Total Eclipse (and Take On Me) are the best things on the internet.And although I can’t get behind the Sean Penn thing, I think you’re just fabulous. Have a great time at Blogher!

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    Comment by rkmama on August 4, 2010
  13. What the effin crap? That angel guy just felt me up.

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    Comment by Peter Mayhew on August 4, 2010
  14. My biggest pet peeve is chewing in general! Scott has a tendency to eat only things that are crunchy so I can hear him munching on his afternoon snack bowl of peanuts from the next room! I put on the Bachelorette, or now I suppose reruns of Big Love, to tune him out!

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on August 4, 2010
  15. Can’t wait to see you!

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    Comment by OHmommy on August 4, 2010
  16. It is so amazing that you can fit into your Bat Mitzvah dress. I was impressed with myself that I could fit into jeans from high school, but that’s nothing compared to this!
    .-= Hilary´s last blog ..I finally made it! =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Hilary on August 8, 2010
  17. Definitely cooler glasses than I have. Yep. No doubt.

    I wish I had known that and seen that pic of you in them before I made a complete ASS of myself and didn’t recognize you.

    You looked marvelous.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mocha on August 9, 2010
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