Most people are really good at telling you what they are, well, not-so-good at. It’s really easy for me to tell you that when I sing, birds explode. I will most willingly tell you that you don’t ever want to see me dance. I waste money at Target! Sometimes I’m lazy! I have no bloody clue what I’m doing behind a camera! See? It’s easy! What most people have a tougher time doing is telling you what they are REALLY good at. I’m not exactly sure why this is, because I’m here today to tell you about one of mine. Hey, you know what I’m super awesome at? Quitting things! No, really. I really really am.
I once joined a gym a quit after a few months because I was pregnant. I once joined and quit after a few months because I didn’t have time. I once joined and quit because having your gym inside of your mall is super dangerous for your wallet.
I once started the 30-day Shred and quit after day 8.
I once – every nine months or so – vowed to be the world’s BEST FLOSSER EVER, and then I quit that.
I once trained for a half-marathon and then quit three-quarters of the way through because I busted up my ankle, my knees were burning, and I decided that I HATED running.
I once said that I’d stop watching Gossip Girl and embarrassingly I quit that because there I was last night, shaking my head at how the show is even more ridiculous than Jenny Humphrey’s weave.
I once said I was going to take a picture every day for a year because I want to learn how to use my camera Â and yet I haven’t taken a single picture for it in May, so it’ll probably take me two three years to complete the entire 365.
I once wanted to learn to golf, and I quit that after the first lesson.
I once went on the South Beach diet. Twice. And I quit both times after two weeks because I didn’t lose a single pound. And because I had a hankering for cupcakes.
I once went on a no-dessert diet to lose some extra pounds for the beach and I quit that after a month because I had kinda sorta reached my goal weight. And because I had a hankering for cupcakes.
I once, just this past week, vowed that I was going to finally make it through The English Patient, which continues to haunt me as the only book I haven’t been able to make it through cover-to-cover. Guess what’s currently staring at me in the face? Oh yes it is. Because I quit that too.
I should probably take up smoking just so I can show you how awesome I’d be at quitting.