Broken.

I don’t know how this happened, but I can assure you, I was not very happy about it.

When I had a full-time office job, a job that I had to get up and get dressed for every day, I spent a lot of time at the mall. It was certainly convenient that the mall that including such favorite haunts as RW&Co and Jacob was also the place where my gym was. And it was also conveniently located directly on the route between my office and my home. So, you can see how it happened. Leave the office, go to the gym, reward yourself with something lovely….a sweater, a skirt, a dress, some shoes, jeans, necklace. I mean, it was really easy to justify. I had a job, I HAD to have these things. I couldn’t show up at work naked, right?

But then I left my office job for a work-at-home job, a job that I didn’t have to get up and get dressed for every day. I can work on my laptop, in my bed, without my pants on if I want to. I can work at my kitchen table in yoga pants and a hoodie if I want to. I can work at the park and wear flip flops and a sundress if I want to. The sky’s the limit and the possibilities are endless, really. But, it means that I really don’t visit the mall (or the gym, for the matter) all that often anymore.

Also, there’s that whole issue of the sinking all of our monies into a new house thing. I believe it’s called being HOUSE POOR.

But yesterday I realized that this week the Martell family is going on an adventure to the dairy state for the joyous holiday of Passover. For a week. Where there are things like seders and time spent at synagogue and places where I cannot wear yoga pants and hoodies or, you know, no pants. So, in a panic, I headed to the mall.

Where I realized that I was broken.

I walked into Banana Republic, felt the lovely fabric on sweaters and skirts and dresses (I am a tactile person. I need to feel fabrics. It’s just one of my things. WHAT?) and walked out. I didn’t buy a thing. I walked into Gap, Macy’s, Blooingdale’s, J.Crew, Express, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor LOFT (which I hear is now just called LOFT), anthropologie and walked out of every single store empty-handed.

And it’s not that there was nothing I liked. OH, I assure you. There were many, many things I liked. Embellished cardigans at J.Crew (SWOON!), this skirt, this Banana dress, but I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything.

SEE? Broken. It was like I was overwhelmed or something. I wanted everything. I wanted nothing. I kind of just wanted to head to the food court and eat a soft pretzel and a cookie as big as my head. I wanted the pushy men at the kiosks to stop asking me if I wanted to try their Ahava hand cream or if I wanted to sell my gold for cash or if i wanted my hair curled or if I wanted a new case for my cell phone.

But then something happened. I got my mojo back. I turned around and headed straight for anthropologie and bought THIS without thinking twice about it and with a GIANT smile on my face.

And now there’s a good chance I will be wearing this outfit today while I work at my kitchen table. or maybe I’ll go to the park in it. Or to Chick-fil-A.

Because I am back, baby.

Even if I did spend the entire day at the mall wearing my cardigan inside-out.

If you want to see more of me – and, I mean, obviously, you do – you can read my latest entertainment news over at Juice, including my thoughts on Adrian Brody (SWOON!), my latest outfit over at The Urban Closet, my latest advice over at So You Want It, and my latest blathering over at Aiming Low, where I am talking about TARGET.

ALSO…have you entered my contest yet? You can win a $200 VISA GIFT CARD!