Monthly Archives: January 2010

I….

will not drink the milk after the expiration date. (see also: yogurt) am the kind of girl who laughs at a funeral. (see also: other inappropriate times) am a sucker for a man with dimples. cannot leave someone a voicemail without sounding like a total tool. overuse the word awesome….

Try to Contain Your Envy.

When I was little I was raised by this little thing called TELEVISION, you may have heard of it. It’s true. I had four working parents and so we were left in the capable hands of  my maternal grandparents who spoke half-German, half-Yiddish, half-English (come on, it was the 80s,…

The one I intend to keep…mostly because it does’t involve drinking any extra water.

So, my story starts with this lovely, lovely camera that I have in my possession. She sure is pretty. When I tote it around with me, I feel like people are all, “oh look! A professional photographer!” even though, really, when I’m at the aquarium or the zoo or at…

Arch. Enemies.

Like her, I cannot stand the phrase ‘pet peeve’ and it’s, if you will, a pet peeve of mine. I prefer to call them something else, like, say my arch enemies. They are the Cady Heron to my Regina George. The Johnny Lawrence to my Daniel Larusso. The Mama Fratelli…

The One Where I Take Zero Credit.

My child at almostnine is probably cooler than, well, than I will ever be. If you ask those who have met her, they will tell you that I am a truth teller. I also have no idea where this child came from. I mean, I know that she came from…

Gladys Hardy isn’t the only one who drinks a little.

I’m not much of a drinker, but I am currently sitting at the edge of my bed watching this new show Life Unexpected that of course I am watching because Jack McFee is in it! I am still a teenager and I watch things like Degrassi: The New Generation and…

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