December 14 09

I was all set today to write a post of all the things that are NOT on notice (yanno, tits list) after being all hating in my post on Friday…it was going to include things like The West Wing. Really? Has there ever been a better show? I don’t think so. And don’t you dare say Jersey Shore, although that show certainly makes me happy these days, if only because it makes the girls on The Hills and The City look less greasy. Seriously, is there a reason why all women on these reality-ish shows insist on not grooming their hair? Is the greasy, I haven’t showed in 6 days look popular with the menfolk? I mean, you know, some days I go two three days without showering, but I guarantee you that I never look like Pookie or whatever the hell her guido name is today. oh, and for the record, my JS nickname is…WAIT FOR IT…The Back End. I swear. Just ask her, she got to see the written proof. The Back End.

So, yes, you were going to get the GOOD THINGS today, but movable type had some sort of nervous tick this morning and ate an entire post of mine which annoyed the crap out of me, because I don’t know how badly I want to rewrite my post for Juice about Jude Law moving in with Sienna Miller. At least I got my So You Want It post up before MT screwed me in ass (well, I am not called The Back End for nothing, I guess). You see what I did there? I announced my new writing gig over at – oh yes I did. And while I am pimping myself out, I may as well point you towards my new post up at Aiming Low today where I am SURPRISE! complaining some more, but at least I quote movies like The Princess Bride to cover up the whiney whine.

Oh, but wait, there was a post in there somewhere. oh yes! Indeed! From the You’re on Notice files. Things #1 and #2. If you follow me on twitter, I almost feel bad for you. Because you were subjected to this.


oh. yes. There really are no words to describe the demons that overtook my children this weekend. The kids are usually fairly well-behaved. I say fairly because, you know, they are kids so dealing with the occasional public meltdown or sibling squabble is normal and expected. But this? I don’t even know what this is. Josh was adorable when I came to watch him perform his Hebrew song at VIP day.


(yes, that IS him standing in the middle of the stage sporting the giant Mario yarmulke)

And they were adorable when we lit the first-night-of-Chanukah candles and made videos.

BUT somehow, all that adorable turned into Josh punching Emily in the face and giving her a nosebleed. And then it was pretty much downhill from there. There were time-outs and desserts taken away and parties that they weren’t allowed to go to. There were darts thrown in my direction and “I HATE YOU”s thrown in my direction. and diet cokes spilled all over me and my clothes and my bed and my laptop.

And then there were light saber fights with a red and blue marker that ended up ON THE WALLS AND ON THE CARPET. So, I pretty much spent my entire Sunday on my knees with some resolve and EIGHT Mr. Clean magic erasers, which proved to be not as magical as I’d hoped.


but, the day ended with carpets that I was actually able to clean myself. And some walls that I was able to get into decent shape. And pretty much the best grilled cheese sandwich I have ever eaten. And 4 12 homemade peanut butter cups. And writing. Because, yes, you heard it here first. I am writing a book. It’s true that I have at least half a dozen half-written books (because like Jodi Picoult, endings are not my forte) sitting in word documents. But this one? This one is happening. And I am excited about it. And I have an outline! And characters who I already am in love with! And an ending! I can’t wait to get to that point. Where it has an ending.

  1. Whether horrible or not, I think every day should end with peanut butter cups.


    Comment by C @ Kid Things on December 14, 2009
  2. oh yes! I AGREE!


    Comment by ali on December 14, 2009
  3. Yay for having an ending! That makes writing to that point a whole lot easier!


    Comment by Jaime on December 14, 2009
  4. Awesome! Can’t wait to read it!!


    Comment by Tova on December 14, 2009
  5. I am so glad I got to try the peanut butter cups in person!

    Also, I’m sorry for your sucky weekend and that it happened when I wasn’t there to distract the kids from WRITING ON THE WALLS.

    And yay for an ending! I can’t wait to read it! I know it will be fabulous!


    Comment by Kristabella on December 14, 2009
  6. The solution to marker on your walls is to paint your walls the same color of the marker. It’s genius in its idiocy!


    Comment by Avitable on December 14, 2009
  7. you should see the art work on my walls! its amazing!


    Comment by LAVENDULA on December 14, 2009
  8. This is why instead of children I have a talking teddy bear. But ya know, TO EACH HIS OWN ALI YOU WEIRDO.


    Comment by slynnro on December 14, 2009
  9. I still can’t believe you didn’t offer them up for adoption.

    The fact that they’re ridiculously cute really worked in their favor.


    Comment by AMomTwoBoys on December 14, 2009
  10. You should’ve just grabbed a few other markers and gone all Jackson Pollock on those walls and called it art. :)

    Is the laptop okay?


    Comment by Nenette on December 15, 2009
  11. [...] I hear about the intense pride, affection and love that my friends have for their children, I sometimes feel a little tug. A quick grasp on my leg. I look down [...]

    Pingback by Tugging on December 15, 2009
  12. You + book = 20 shades of awesome. Can’t wait.

    (Also need to make some peanut butter cups.)


    Comment by Angella on December 15, 2009
  13. Hip hip! for awesome endings. Also: If you ever need a writing buddy, I am totally your girl.


    Comment by Kerri Anne on December 15, 2009
  14. first of all, i’m so excited about your book! second, that pic of josh is hysterical and so cute. i love how he’s standing. third, i had that kind of day yesterday – marker on the walls, floor and chairs, milk spilled on the floor, a full cup of water thrown across the room. good times.


    Comment by adina on December 15, 2009
  15. You and me were both on hands and knees scrubbing errant art work! Fist bump!

    Also: JERSEY SHORE. Way better than The West Wing. Bwah!


    Comment by Haley-O (Cheaty) on December 19, 2010

Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>