November 12 09

I guess it’s safe to say that you can add THE NAP to things of which I am a huge fan. I have been bitching about fighting whatever this sickness is that has no name other than plague. Because, well, the symptoms are kind of ridiculous. It’s not quite swine flu, it’s not quite cold, it’s not quite a sinus infection, and it’s not quite the stomach flu. It’s kind of a combination of them all.

And it certainly didn’t help matters that for more than half of the day yesterday I was googling “how to unclog a toilet” and don’t you look at me like that judgey mcjudgeypants, I’m not that much of a princess. I DO, in fact,  know how to use a plunger…but, you all, this was a doozy. I had asked the kids not to use the toilet because I knew. As soon as the husband goes away, things go to hell. (that’s Martell’s Law. It’s like Murphy’s, only worse.) But, of course, a child who was half-asleep forgot all about the bathroom rules and proceeded to pollute the thing. OF COURSE. So, sadly, this process took more than just a plunger. It took TWO. and a bucket and a wire hanger. oh, yes, not since Faye Dunaway did Joan Crawford was there ever an uglier hanger scene.

MommieDearest

But, wonder of wonders, I fixed it all by myself. And rewarded myself with a giant DO NOT ENTER sign and seventeen rounds of handwashing and some leftover Chinese food that I didn’t get to eat the first time around, well, because of the whole almost stomach flu thing. Well, I would have rewarded myself with Chinese food if someone in the house hadn’t eaten the leftovers. Although, it was a blessing in disguise…because that whole tummy roulette (TM Metalia) game I would be playing? not worth it. I’ll stick to Ritz crackers and bread, thanks. (but! huzzah! yay for being one pound away from my goal weight!)

BUT, I am Mario! Except, you know, without the mustache. Although I DID try to grow one for Movember, because the husband quit on November 4th (quitter) and I wanted to show him up. but, you know, lucky for me and my German roots, I am blessed with a hairless upper lip.

My Grandpa Lou would have been proud. I mean, he even left me his drain snake in his will. Plumbers take their tools VERY seriously. I mean, I got the plumbing tools and the husband only got the giant Chai-laden belt buckles.

chai

Obviously, he LOVED ME MORE.

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  1. FIRST!

    I always wanted to do that.

    Get some Nyquil and get yourself feeling better!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on November 12, 2009
  2. No Wire Hangers is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. I performed it one time for my drama class and the whole class sat stunned for a moment before applauding. ONly a few of them had ever seen it and they were dumbfounded by it hahaha

    [Reply]

    Comment by MBonn on November 12, 2009
  3. GO GO GADGET ALIMARTELL!

    I love that movie if for no other reason that it inspires me to be just a LITTLE bit better than Joan Crawford.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on November 12, 2009
  4. *blinks* how can you ask you kids not to use the toilet? They are just supposed to hold it? Or go outside? I’m confused.

    But also proud of you! hehe.
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Swearing =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Katie on November 12, 2009
  5. Katie – - – just THAT specific one. There are 6 bathrooms in our house, but they just really like the one in my room the best.

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on November 12, 2009
  6. Oh, you didn’t mention that you had to make your own toilet snake out of coat hangers too! I’m even more impressed now.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on November 13, 2009
  7. That belt buckle is pretty much the most amazing thing I have ever seen.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on November 13, 2009
  8. way to go Ali!

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on November 13, 2009
  9. Ah, yes, the blessed toilet snake. We have one, and it completely paled in comparison’s to our plumber’s, which he considers GOLD.
    The last time we called him, we said, “Our toilet snake didn’t work.” His smug, shit-eating grin reply was, “Yeah, but mine’s LONGER.”

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on November 15, 2009
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