October 15 09

Occasionally, I look at pictures of myself and no less than 30 seconds later I am googling “common side effects of botox.” The thirties – thus far – have been great. A good friend once told me that my life would begin at 30, and he may not have been wrong. But, you know what else began at 30? the slippery slope into geriatricAli.

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I am going to blame the sun. THE SUN. I was looking into the sun, dammit!

But when my sister and I were discussing our plastic surgeries of choice, she told me that it was not the lines that made her feel old. It was this one time that she was checking out and the person behind the counter didn’t flirt with her. Because, she told me, that was her thing. She’d flash her smile…and she wouldn’t just get free shit, she’d get a big ego boost all “oh yes, I still have it.” Only this one time, she got ignored.

I sat and listened to her story. what? How come that wasn’t MY THING? We were sisters, after all. We have the same toothbrush. How come the only time I get noticed by the opposite gender it’s by the oldest of the old and the youngest of the young? and how come when the old men notice me it’s the 85-year-old men at Tim Horton’s who buy me coffee and not, say, Roger Sterling? and how come when young men notice me it’s by elementary school kids and not, say, Chace Crawford?

It happened again this morning when I dropped off Isabella at school.

This little boy comes over to me and says: Do you want to come over to my house after school?

I swear.

And once I stop the maniacal laughter, he continued: I have this new game…The Clone Wars. Do you want to come over and play it with me? I think you would like to play it! I am awesome at it! I know the best moves and I could show you them! and then we could drink chocolate milk and eat cookies!

SMOOTH

I am pretty sure a 4-year-old boy just asked me out.

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  1. that’s great! I love it!

    Comment by rayli on October 15, 2009
  2. That is too precious! Little Rico Suave ans his video gamin’!

    Comment by Darcey on October 15, 2009
  3. So, um, aside from being slightly creepy, that sounds like THE BEST DATE EVER.

    Comment by C @ Kid Things on October 15, 2009
  4. God put us on this earth to laugh, hence the term laugh lines, so do yourself a favor, let your eyes crinkle and your skin wrinkle- Connie & Carla

    Comment by NaomiJesson on October 15, 2009
  5. DUDE – chocolate milk AND cookies??? I think I would have taken him up on it.

    Comment by Karen Chatters on October 15, 2009
  6. For the first time in a long time, someone recently called me miss instead of ma’am. It took years off. Also, that’s a great picture of you, regardless of the pup.

    Comment by Tamara on October 15, 2009
  7. Oh, honey, parks and elementary school lunch rooms are the best places to get a little ego boost! Little boys are crazy with the compliments! I can be on an ego high for days after helping a table of 2nd graders open their chocolate milk!

    Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) on October 15, 2009
  8. I so get it.

    Before I got pg, men would ALWAYS flirt with me. Smile at me.
    I swear, it’s as if now I have a sign on my forehead that says “I am the mother of twin toddlers- do NOT come 3 feet of me”
    I dont even get smiles anymore! SIGH.
    I remember a few yrs ago I was grocery shopping with my mother and a guy hit on me right in front of her. I told him I was married. I proceeded to tell my mother that I was so sceeved out when that happens, and she said “Enjoy it. It will go away one day and you will miss it” – who knew it would come at the age of 28 for me!
    Oh well.
    BUT how cute is the little boy? I cant stand it!
    .-= Maya´s last blog ..You have to see to believe =-.

    Comment by Maya on October 15, 2009
  9. Chocolate milk and cookies? That sounds like the best date ever! That’s way better than being hit on by some douche in a grocery store!

    Comment by Kristabella on October 15, 2009
  10. So you’re a MILD (mom I’d love to date) to the four year old set now?

    Comment by SciFi Dad on October 15, 2009
  11. SciFi Dad – maybe i should get a tshirt…

    Comment by ali on October 15, 2009
  12. hahaha! Ali you are so funny! getting hit on by a 4 year old hahaha

    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 15, 2009
  13. That is the sign, they stop flirting with you.
    Oh how I miss those days.
    There you are feeling like your looking great riding around in you little mini and you can see that someone is trying to see who is that blonde in that car and then they see you are an old lady. At this point in my life I just have to laugh!
    .-= Deborah Pucci´s last blog ..WAVE OF LIGHT =-.

    Comment by Deborah Pucci on October 15, 2009
  14. Haha, you got asked out by a 4 year old! Neener neener! That is too funny.

    I always get hit on my older guys. Not just a few years older but OLDER. Think white hair. Not even gray.. but WHITE! How annoying.
    .-= Cassie´s last blog ..Twitter! Oh no! =-.

    Comment by Cassie on October 15, 2009
  15. So stinking cute.

    And dude, I cannot believe that you don’t get second looks from guys. You’re too hot not to be noticed, is what I’m saying.

    Comment by Angella on October 15, 2009
  16. Yes, it’s all in the angle. I agree, it was the sun. :)
    You know, I’ve been seeing some things I don’t like when I look in the mirror myself. Usually when I smile. I may have to never smile ever again.

    Comment by Nenette on October 15, 2009
  17. theo only one looking at your “laugh lines” is you. But I do that all the time. There will be a picture of me that people will compliment, and all I can think is “DUDE my one eye is smaller, and you can totally see my lovehandles, and the double chin, and my cheeks look fat and on and on and on.” I think we project our own insecurities on to our pictures.

    I so want to go on that date. it sounds awesome!
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Embarrasing moments make for good posts… =-.

    Comment by Katie on October 15, 2009
  18. At least he offered milk and cookies.:) He’s going to be a lady killer!

    Comment by Kaleigha on October 15, 2009
  19. Actually the T Shirt would be MILTPTCW: Mom I’d Like To Play The Clone Wars With.

    That story is adorable! And shaddup you’re freaking gorgeous.

    Comment by Karen Sugarpants on October 15, 2009
  20. Well, I know one adult male who thinks that his Jewish sister from another mister is quite beautiful.

    Comment by Avitable on October 15, 2009
  21. Good news! I got my mojo back. The guys behind the counter FINALLY smiled at me!

    Comment by Charna on October 15, 2009
  22. wow, kid’s got game

    Comment by Sensibly Sassy on October 15, 2009
  23. *snort*

    That’s awesome.

    Comment by mamatulip on October 16, 2009
  24. I don’t even get hit on by kids. :)

    Comment by Chantal on October 16, 2009
  25. Four year olds may be a pain in the butt sometimes but occasionally they’re good for the ego.
    My kid thinks my boobs are AMAZING.

    Comment by moosh in indy. on October 16, 2009
  26. For some reason I read what that little boy said to you in Kevin’s voice (from The Office).
    Thats exactly how he would ask a girl out.

    I could care less about getting hit on – I just want to keep getting carded at the liquor store! That’s my ego boost!!

    Comment by Christine on October 17, 2009
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