October 12 09

part 1 was where I was drying my hair in the bathroom and wondering if my iron was actually, um, on which, of course, was ridiculous because I could see that the red light was on, but for some reason I didn’t trust it (conspiracy!) so I  put my entire finger on the iron to check and let’s just say that I spent a good portion of my afternoon with my finger dipped in a cup of ice water and am now sporting a very lovely blister. and then I asked the internets to call the wahmbulance. and lots of you thought that was funny, and then I didn’t tell anyone that I learned that phrase from The Amazing Race because I was kind of embarrassed although, you know, I did burn myself on my flat iron, so, really, embarrassment should be kind of relative at the moment.

burn

part 2 was when I was cooking a home-cooked meal for my sister who left her husband at home in NYC to eat lean cuisines and well, I was all, “hey what’s that smell?” and then I looked down and realized that I burned a chunk of my hair at the stove and that smell was actually my burned and singed hair and I had to go and find a pair of scissors to cut that shit off.

(bonus: haircut!)

It’s funny because when my sister comes to town we start out all best-intentiony because, well, we are both running a half-marathon in 7 weeks (egads!) so we do things like this on Friday

cake

but by Sunday we are sending my dad out to buy a 1/2 slab birthday sheet cake even though it’s nobody’s birthday (unless you count my brand-new baby niece who was born in Montreal on Thursday night, but I’m guessing you probably don’t count that. yay for new nieces, though) but hello, buttercream! and I can assure you that we are no longer eating one-bite sized pieces. but she’s leaving today (thank god!) so I can fast for the next four days to work off the heifer-like buffets I have been stuffing into my gob.

In other news, I took my entire  family to meet up with HeatherB at the W hotel as sort of a pre-screening because Heather will be spending Thanksgiving at our house and 40 of my stepmother’s closest relatives. Well, it’s a good thing that Heather likes drunk people because hoo boy, were they ever. My stepmom was rambling about Nick Canon and Mariah Carey but she confused Mariah and Beyonce and we still aren’t sure where that story was coming from or what it was even about  but Heather nodded politely and pretended that my stepmom was making some kind of sense. and she didn’t even mind when my dad ordered an Old Fashioned because he thinks he’s Don Draper and when we told her that he  – and the car next to him too! – stopped in the middle of the street because he thought he was at a red light. and she didn’t flinch when my stepmom killed a giant-ass COCKROACH with her shoe at the table. or when my sister complimented her own boots (ha. really, she was complimenting Heather’s lovely Frye boots. I swear) Why yes, I think Thanksgiving is going to be just fine. Pour the wine, Mazel Tov.

In other news, it’s Canadian Thanksgiving! Happy turkey day to all my friends in the great white north today! esepcially to my BFF Ilana who celebrated her 25th birthday without me this week. WAH.

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  1. I’ve been tempted to sneak over to my mom’s and steal all her hella cool 60s cocktail glasses and start pouring myself three fingers of whiskey every time I enter a room simply because I started watching Mad Men. I figure it’s easier than bedding every person I encounter with my Don Draper eyes.

    Until then, I will try to stop double fisting the brownies and chocolate chip cookies I baked this weekend. And ate. At the same time. While no one was home. Seriously, I think drinking whiskey would be better for me than brownies!

    [Reply]

    Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) on October 12, 2009
  2. We had cake for my niece’s birthday on Saturday. I didn’t eat dinner because I filled up on Baked Potato Dip beforehand, but I definitely had some cake. I have priorities.

    Now I’m going to get your stepmom drunk when I come in December! :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on October 12, 2009
  3. Is that red velvet cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory on that plate?

    Cause I’d knock somebody over for a slice of that.

    [Reply]

    Comment by ClassyFabSarah on October 12, 2009
  4. Can I come to your house? My house has no drunk people and no HB.

    [Reply]

    Comment by slynnro on October 12, 2009
  5. I once got my finger stuck in a hot glue gun. While it was on. And then I stood there totally freaking out because MY FINGER IS STUCK IN A HOT GLUE GUN AND IT IS ON.

    Also…I don’t think I could live in Canada now. Thanksgiving before Halloween just confuses me…what do you EAT during the entire month of November??

    [Reply]

    Comment by Betty Crocker on October 12, 2009
  6. omg ali you are so silly putting your finger on the hot iron ouch!!!!is it wrong that i laughed a little when i read that? and thanx i had a nice thanksgiving what exactly does mazel tov mean

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 12, 2009
  7. I burnt my finger the same way, and ouch!! Now I just flick a drop of water on the iron and listen for the sizzle. I learnt the hard way. Thanks for the bday wishes. I missed you too.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lan on October 12, 2009
  8. Reminds me of that old joke.

    How did Helen Keller go deaf in her left ear?

    The phone rang and she answered the iron.

    How did she go deaf in her right ear?

    They called back.

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    Comment by Avitable on October 13, 2009
  9. We’re going to be by ourselves this Thanksgiving and let me tell you, you’re making Atlanta sound tempting. I could teach your stepmom the difference between Mariah Carey and Beyonce!

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    Comment by jonniker on October 13, 2009
  10. I didn’t get turkey thanks to arriving home at 6PM last night. (We had hot dogs and KD. AWESOME.)

    Can I come to your house for Thanksgiving too?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on October 13, 2009
  11. I’m laughing so damn hard right now…

    I’m actually crying. I cannot wait for Thanksgiving.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Heather B. on October 14, 2009
  12. they’ll sell you a birthday cake when it’s not your birthday?! oy. i’m in such trouble now. why did i never think of that? thanks. not.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Wendy on October 14, 2009
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