Apparently, I was the only one who didn’t get the memo about fake Q-tips. Why did no one tell me this? I mean, sure, it looks the same and is certainly enticing with its significantly cheaper price tag. but oh my god…the stick, the cotton…yeesh, I think I’ll save my money elsewhere, like buying the giant $5.99 pumpkin pies at costco. oh yes, I’m already in pumpkin mode, even though I’m still wearing flip flops every day (yay! it’s October and I’m still wearing flip flops. take that, Toronto weather!). I *may* have already purchased one of these in anticipation of my first Thanksgiving in, erm, the homeland in too long. I am so excited to be spending the holiday with my family and with other people I really like, even though she’s not really coming to see me, but rather the outside of the Real Housewives of Atlanta’s houses.
oh, and then there’s that whole thanksgiving day half-marathon thing.
my sister is running. the husband is running. my sister-in-law is running, HeatherB is running. and I am running. only I am going to be walking, and I may or may not be that person on the Biggest Loser who has to be hoisted across the finish line by her friends and then sent to the ER because of aches and pains and fear of death. Heck yeah, that’s going to be me. I have what they call…best intentions. I really want to run this race, not to compete for an award-winning time or anything, but because it’s something I have always wanted to do. It’s something I want to be able to cross off my NOTbucket list. It’s about as daring as I get. I got all the right gear…the stupid running belt (it’s pink for heaven’s sake) and the shoes and the right bra so my boobies aren’t flying two feet behind me.
I even started RUNNING. Novel, eh?
The first time I got on the treadmill I was super pumped and was determined to run the half an hour I was allowed straight through until the end without stopped. I mean, running is simple, right? um, yeah, I knew I was in trouble when I made it exactly 30 seconds before having to stop to rest my burning shins and my about-to-explode lungs. and then I walked for 29 minutes and 30 seconds. and then I decided that running just wasn’t for me.
but then I thought of all the people who were counting on me to do this race. So, I got back on, and made it through an entire commercial set of Family Ties. 2 minutes was better than 30 seconds, right? and then I kept up with it until I could run almost the entire 30 minutes. and then I graduated to the great outdoors.
and I LOVED it. I loved how I felt when I ran. I loved passing people on the street. I loved nodding to running neighbor in solidarity. I loved feeling pumped. I loved how somewhere along the line – without realizing it – my body and I switched from begging to hit a red light to get a little bit of rest to begging for the light to be green so we didn’t have to stop. 2 miles. 2.5 miles. 3 miles. 3.5 miles.
and then I didn’t like running so much anymore. On days I would run I would come home and collapse and feel dehydrated and sluggish for the rest of the day. My knees ached. My head ached. My everything ached. I was dizzy. I was short-tempered. I was famished; more famished that I ever was while pregnant or nursing. My appetite was insatiable and I ate everything in sight. My body didn’t seem more toned at all; in fact, I was starting to put on weight from all the food I was consuming. My body was starting to hate me and I was starting to hate it.
So, I took a little running break. It absolutely kills me when my sister changes her facebook status to “eleven miles in central park!” because she is a total rockstar. She is going to run the pants off of everyone on Thanksgiving day. It kills me when HB tells me that she has been having some great runs. and I feel nothing but shame when my husband leaves me in front of the tv watching something crappy like Melrose Place while he goes out for a no-big-deal morning 7-mile run.
So, people, HELP me. I want to do this. I NEED to do this.
I NEED TO DO THIS.
I do not want to spend my thanksgiving sitting on my ass eating mini pumpkin cakes watching everyone else accomplish my milestone.