I tried a little experiment this morning. We bought a new carseat for Isabella and instead of taking the old seat down to the basement, where all the other old baby stuff collects dust, I took the old seat and put it at the end of the driveway. 8 minutes later someone knocked on the door asking if he could take it. you see? I can bring a little bit of city to the country!
but now, I am plotting and scheming. and rubbing my hands together in delicious planning mode.
You see, my mother doesn’t throw anything away. EVER. I mean, you will recall that she still has in her possession the stained dress that I wore to my bat mitzvah. you know, the one that still fits. She has the dress that she wore to my sister’s bat mitzvah, in 1987. She still has the dress she wore to her first wedding, in 1971. but, fine, I’ll allow her these trinkets that bring her warm fuzzies and good memories. some would argue that THE THOUSANDS OF PICTURES SHE HAS LYING AROUND IN BOXES would produce the same memories and fuzzies, but I digress. But, it’s not that she never throws the important things away…it’s that she just doesn’t throw anything away. and the clutter is taking over her house. She’s run out of room in the closets that are stuffed silly from top to bottom and things are now starting to spread across the floor. It’s a tsunami of shit…printers from 1985, an ab roller that no one has ever used, boxes of old basketball cards that I haven’t collected since the 90s, cassettes, stuffed animals, broken toys.
It’s not her fault, really. My Bubbie, her mother, died with every possession she acquired since she was liberated from Auschwitz, including hundreds of sugar packets that she swiped from restaurants…because you never know when you are going to run out of sugar. The apple doesn’t fall far, you see…she still had the dress that she wore to my mom’s first wedding, in 1971.
(I guess it skipped a generation this time. because, I mean, I just had a giant dumpster on my driveway and tossed tossed tossed things without thinking twice or looking back)
but, she has granted me permission.
to start going through the shit.
so, if you are in suburban Wisconsin this afternoon and see about a million things sitting out at the end of the driveway, I am NOT channeling my inner Juno.
those things are free for the taking. because when Kristabella comes back for a visit, she would REALLY really like to see what my mom’s hardwood actually looks like.
(yes! one of the three best blogher roomies ever, miss Kristabella came to visit! and yes, I have so many good things to tell you about her visit…about how we were glued to the disney channel watching a Jonas marathon and about how my mom makes up words like “shnibble” and about how I introduced her to Jewish delicacies like kugel and cholent and rugelach. but first, I have an ab roller that needs to get put outside. I mean, this is Wisconsin…surely someone in the fattest state in the nation can get some good use out of it. no?)
(but now I AM craving beer and cheese)
(maybe I should keep the ab roller…)