May 7 09

My evening ended last night with me begging a buck naked 3-year-old to just go to sleep already so I could just watch LOST. parenting at its finest, I realize, but, hello, we had just left daniel faraday and his moms in an interesting little pickle and ohmigod, he cannot be DEAD!! I took Isabella for some good old fashioned one-on-one time at the dermatologist yesterday to get 4 bumps on her belly removed. We waited over an hour to see the total chode doctor, who spent exactly 47 seconds with us to tell me that, no, these aren’t a big deal, and yes, his nurse is going to remove them. THAT’S IT. so, the nurse put some white stuff on her bumps and as we were walking out said, “oh, by the way, this might REALLY BURN her” thanks for the heads up, homes. and hoo boy, it burned her from about 4pm until about 11pm (ohmygodtheyelling!)(crazy. psycho. zombie. yelling), when she finally went to sleep. two baths, seven trips to the bathroom, three cups of water, one viewing of Enchanted and 2 episodes of care bears later.

oh, and while all this was going on, I was showing the house to potential buyers and my dog took a crap on the couch. sweet. my life, is awesome. oh, and also? not only did my nanny do this

brush

(BARF)(VOMIT)(BARF AGAIN)

but she finished my last key lime yoplait yogurt from the target run from indianapolisfestohnine. i think an emergency trip across the border to stock up on yogurt and 100-calorie packs of swedish fish and pepperidge farm cookies and fruity pebbles and cookie crisp *might* be in order.

what do you think the border dude would think if I was all, “um, yes, my reason for traveling to the states, sir, is to buy food to replace what my nanny swiped.” hmm? (seems like something the old Mike on Biggest Loser would have done. PS. MAD LOVE FOR MIKE. seriously, America better vote him into the finals. I blame brotherMax for Mike’s measly ten-pound loss) (end of tangent) He probably would be nicer to me than the jackass who didn’t want to let Sam into the country because her work visa expired in 2005. He didn’t give a rat’s ass, however, about the baby we could have been potentially smuggling across the border…who cares about babies with different last names when you have a piece of paper in your passport that you forgot to throw out!! YOU NEED TO BE TEH SMART TO BE ON BORDER PATROL.

in the meantime, while I hate on the dermatologist and pine for the fjords targety goodness, I will continue to watch Penelope, because Metalia was right, I LOVE her.

and not just because she reminds me WAY WAY too much of someone in my family (family members take heed: if you are reading this, it’s more than likely not you. heh)

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  1. yep, yep, yep … barf, vomit, barf again! The hair brush is a gonner, for sure! And the key lime yoplait … what happened to the nanny???

    carla K.s last blog post..To All Artists / To All Humans …

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    Comment by carla K. on May 7, 2009
  2. That is a firing… The hair brush thing is bad enough. Messing with a woman’s yogurt will get you killed!!

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    Comment by WickedStepMom on May 7, 2009
  3. the dog part is hilarious .. did the prospective buyers see? and .. does your nanny read your blog lol?

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    Comment by sclayton@stellate.co on May 7, 2009
  4. I ADORE Penelope!

    Wait a second, cant you find good snacks in canada?

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    Comment by maya on May 7, 2009
  5. Haha okay the hairbrush thing is weird… but barf-weird? I don’t know. I wouldn’t use a stranger’s hairbrush, but I would use a family member or friends’ (and do). She’s been working for you forever so I guess she felt a special connection? lol… she still should have asked first. At least it wasn’t your toothbrush?

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    Comment by Lyndsey on May 7, 2009
  6. Well yes the hairbrush thing would bother me…I would be like, if she is using that in front of me, what is she using of mine when you are not around??? Sorry, I’m probably not helping. Would it be weird to put your name on your ‘special’ food, in your own house? I think I just answered my own question. Sorry you had a bad day.

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    Comment by Jen on May 7, 2009
  7. THERE IS NO COOKIE CRISP IN CANADA? How on Earth can you live there?

    I think I shall send you a care package. Minus the yogurt.

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    Comment by Kristabella on May 7, 2009
  8. Emily had a mole burned off in the doctor’s office and BOY THAT WAS FUN.

    We have to go back and get it done again. Sigh.

    I’d make a run for the border with you if you weren’t clear across the country.

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    Comment by Angella on May 7, 2009
  9. thats pretty weird using your hairbrush like that…and the dog crapped on your couch?! oh that is so gross! poor bella.that must have been painful.and penelpoe would get on my nerves pretty fast.

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on May 7, 2009
  10. I found my housekeeper using my 12″ black dong. Oh wait, that wasn’t mine! I guess she brought her own.

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    Comment by Avitable on May 7, 2009
  11. I LOVE Penelope, too! And I hate yogurt pirates…I used to have a roommate who did the same thing (she was also the one whose brother, like Indy, pooped on my couch. He wasn’t a dog, though). I kicked that bitch to the curb, ha.

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on May 7, 2009
  12. what show is that? is that GIGI, as Penelope?

    OMG – the dog story…how awful!

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    Comment by Maria on May 7, 2009
  13. Oh, Indie, how could you?!

    You know, some of my cousins are nannies, and using brushes (or anything else, for that matter) of employers is a super-big no-no. I’d be washing that brush, just because NO ONE USES MY BRUSH BUT ME! But I agree with Lyndsey, at least it’s not your toothbrush! And she used the brush on her head and not to scratch her armpit or butt, right? :)
    And I’d put signs on off-limits fridge items. Serious.

    Hugs for sweet Bella… :)

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    Comment by Nenette on May 7, 2009
  14. i just wish i had a nanny. i have a dog. she probably can faster than you so….

    that video was hilarious!

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    Comment by Karen Sugarpants on May 7, 2009
  15. Using my hairbrush wouldn’t be quite as bad as flirting with my husband, but it would be up there.

    Lost got pre-empted here by santa barbara fires. Shheesh! Evacuate already and get back to the island.

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    Comment by anne nahm on May 7, 2009
  16. Um EEEEW Nanny.

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    Comment by Kaleigha on May 7, 2009
  17. Bwhahahahaha…I laughed through the whole thing. I’ve sooo had days like that. But luckily, my nanny is a man…and doesn’t use my brush ;)

    Lisas last blog post..My VERY FIRST (of many to come) GIVEAWAY!

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    Comment by Lisa on May 7, 2009
  18. That you wrote this: pine for the fjords makes me want to mack on you!

    fadkogs last blog post..kick off my sunday shoes

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    Comment by fadkog on May 7, 2009
  19. gotta loooove pets. It’s like they know when it would be the most inopportune time to misbehave. I’m always telling people that Porky is trained, and then they come over and he pees on the floor. It’s fantastic.

    Also, stupid doctors make me want to pull my hair out.

    Katies last blog post..Chicken Surprise

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    Comment by Katie on May 7, 2009
  20. Nast. Once Aaron used my toothbrush in front of me. I almost divorced him.

    slynnros last blog post..Going Gluten Free. Ish. Sort of.

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    Comment by slynnro on May 7, 2009
  21. Well, crap. I had this page open, but then I just told you everything I wanted to tell you over IM. Oh, wait. Penelope! I haven’t mentioned Penelope in our IM discussion yet. I am…glad you like her. Okay, back to the other window to talk to you for real.

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    Comment by metalia on May 7, 2009
  22. Clearly you need to buy that woman a hairbrush next Christmas.

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    Comment by Miss Britt on May 7, 2009
  23. How can they not sell yoplait and 100-cal packs in Canada? Those are essentials!

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    Comment by Karen on May 7, 2009
  24. *GAG*

    Oh fuck, that’s YUCK.

    I had a roommate that would go into my room, use my stereo and MY MAKE UP while I wasn’t home.

    That sends a shiver up my spine.

    And border patrol? That guy can suck it. Srsly. I forgot I was going to write a post about him.

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    Comment by sam {temptingmama} on May 8, 2009
  25. My daughter will go to bed at 8:30 every night EXCEPT WEDNESDAY so I can’t watch Lost >:[

    Fortunately we DVR it but still... watching all the trends on Twitter popping up with "LOST" and "FARADAY" and "HURLEY" is painful! And you know there's no way to miss the first few minutes of an episode and still get the full effect.

    Sigh. Canada's also missing out on an amazing snack mix called "Gardetto's", so everytime I go to the US I stock up on massive bags of them at Wal-mart. Seriously. You gotta try it :]

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    Comment by Tatiana on May 8, 2009
  26. After hearing about all the things Canada lacks, I don’t think I will ever, EVER, move there.

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    Comment by regan on May 9, 2009
  27. ew…double ew. that is nasty! i would so fire the nanny! that is gross!!! oo, and mike!love! who knew he was such a cutie!

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    Comment by Rayli on May 13, 2009
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