February 4 09

Emily and boys. no, this is nothing new…but it still throws me for a loop every time i answer the phone and there’s a boy on the other end, stuttering his way through a very meek “Can i please talk to Emily?”

i’m not ready for this. i’m not ready for this. i’m not ready for this.

“Just what are your intentions with my daughter?” i say

“Um, what are intentions? um, this is Ethan. we are in the play together? can i just talk to Emily?”

blast.

Ethan. i know nothing about this Ethan! It’s scary to think that my daughter (or any of my children) have social lives that don’t include me. She has friends she hangs out with at school, jokes around with, gossips with, tells her secrets to…and not only are none of these people ME, but i don’t know any of them.

and i know nothing of this Adam who just this week sent MY Emily a letter shaped like a heart that had a lovely little ‘Adam Hearts Emily” written on the front of it. (GAH! are you dying from all the shmaltz?!?!)

blast.

love letters! my baby girl is getting love letters. i’m not ready for this. i’m not ready for this. i’m not ready for this.

for the ooey, gooey crushes. but with most ooey, gooey crushes, come the broken hearts.

How do you prepare your children for heartache?

Recently, Emily tried out for the school play, Mamma Mia. She’s been watching the movie on repeat and bouncing around the house with her ipod earbuds fused to her ears. She’s been reading and re-reading the script. She knows the entire thing by heart. She’s an actress, my child. and she’s good. she’s really good. but, at the end of the day, she’s only 7 and she’s competing for roles with girls who are 9, 10, 11, 12. Even a good second grader is not going to get the role of Sophie. She’s just not.

but, am i supposed to discourage her from trying out for it? am i supposed to urge her to choose a smaller role, one she is more likely to get? and am i doing this because *I* don’t want to deal with her disappointment when she comes home sophie-less????

i’m not ready for this. i’m not ready for this. i’m not ready for this.

last night she got her part…i can’t even remember the name (read: NOT SOPHIE)…but, the director, god bless him, gave Miss Emily a SOLO. a bloody solo. The Winner Takes it All. He says to me, “Your daughter is very talented. she has a beautiful singing voice!”

“She does?” i say. i mean, i like her voice, mostly, but I AM HER MOTHER. i think she’s practically perfect in every way. or most ways, at least. i could do without the bitchiness and the angst. ohmygoodgod, the angst.

“You didn’t know that? i wouldn’t give a second grader a solo if i didn’t think so!! You should be very proud. i NEVER underestimate the young ones with the talent!!”

i smile and thank him. but, i know, deep down, that i’m smiling because i got off easy. Emily doesn’t even remember that she wanted to be Sophie…because she has a solo. a solo! she’s going to be singing, BY HERSELF, on a stage in front of hundreds of people. for two nights. she’s on cloud nine. and The Winner Takes it All is now on MEGA-REPEAT.

…and you thought i hated Abba before…

but what happens when i have to deal with the real disappointment?? When Ethan calls another girl? When Adam send another girl an Adam hearts _____? When she hates her body? When she’s discouraged by bad grades? When another girl makes her feel inferior? When she is utterly heartbroken by her part in a play??

most days i just want to keep her in the bubble where everything is rainbows and unicorns and she’s a dance teacher and Wall.E appears from outer space…

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  1. I totally feel your pain-I have the same situation in my house…times 3. I fear I will dread my life in about 5 more years.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amberlea on February 4, 2009
  2. Congrats Emily .. so exciting!

    Scott’s been getting ‘love’ notes and drawings for awhile now and he’s already had one heartbreak – his best girl friend from daycare when they were 18 months old – has a crush on another .. at 7 LOL. I too fear what is to come!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on February 4, 2009
  3. Aww! Awesome post! Love the video, too, of course!

    It’s way too early…But, you’re ready. You can do this. And, WE’RE ALL HERE to support you through it. ((HUGS))

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on February 4, 2009
  4. First, YAY Emily! That is awesome. For a second grader to have a solo? Incredible. You should be proud.

    As for the other stuff? Stop freaking me out, damnit.

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    Comment by SciFi Dad on February 4, 2009
  5. Not that Emily won’t have to deal with strife because we all do, but Emily is so going to be the pretty, popular one. Which is mostly strife for you.

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    Comment by slynnro on February 4, 2009
  6. Sigh. I remember when Graham first started school I nearly died with the stress. I think when it comes to my girl getting to that point, I may have to self-medicate…

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    Comment by Angella on February 4, 2009
  7. Well I don’t have kids… but I’m not THAT far from my teen years. I don’t think its a cop-out to let her get disappointed. I think that there is an important lesson to learn that wanting something really badly and working as hard as you can doesn’t always mean you’re going to get it. That’s just life. :/

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lyndsey on February 4, 2009
  8. Oh man, I totally understand. The only thing you can do I think is keep telling her she’s the greatest. Everyone goes through those doubts, the heartbreak’s that seem huge at the time, but really silly later. The thing that got me through it (though I would never admit it at the time) was my parents telling me they were proud of me, that I deserved good things and that they would ALWAYS be there for me. If you have that foundation, all the pain seems to fade away eventually.:)

    Kaleighas last blog post..On the letter "P"…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kaleigha on February 4, 2009
  9. Um, I kind of want to be Emily’s friend…does she befriend old fogies 26 years of age? In all honesty, I think she’d be a little too cool for me…she’s totally the cool kid at school that you vie for attention from for years and MAYBE one day, just before you graduate high school, she says your name, and your life is made because Emily Martell? KNOWS MY NAME. (Think Sam and Joanna in the final scene of Love Actually.)

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on February 4, 2009
  10. Congratulations to Miss Emily! As for the boys and everything else, all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. You are ready for it, you’ve gone thru it yourself and know what it’s like. And it seems like your little Miss has got to be the popular girl at school with lots of friends so they will be her support system too. You’re ready for this, you both are!

    Diannas last blog post..30 Day Shread and 3 more chances to enter the GIVEAWAY!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Dianna on February 4, 2009
  11. Yay Emily! That’s awesome!

    Also, you’re doubting yourself, my friend. You are an awesome parent and all you can do is encourage her and be there when she needs a hug and someone to talk to.

    Believe me, I love my mom SO MUCH because of the fact that she told me I could DO ANYTHING! Even when I wanted to be the first female quarterback at Notre Dame. And that is what sticks with me all these years later, not the disappointment when I didn’t even get into Notre Dame.

    She will be JUST FINE.

    Kristabellas last blog post..Oh Acid Reflux, I Would Like To Kick You

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on February 4, 2009
  12. something tells me that Emily is going to be the one breaking hearts, not the other way around.

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    Comment by heather... on February 4, 2009
  13. YAY Emily!!! Sorry Mom but I have no advice to give. I’m in the same boat as you.

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    Comment by Chris on February 4, 2009
  14. You’re making me think too far ahead here! My daughter is only 5 months!! Huge congrats to Emily!

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    Comment by Courtney on February 4, 2009
  15. Awwww GO EMILY! That’s so awesome. A solo!

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    Comment by Kimberly on February 4, 2009
  16. I’m no help with this one… I can’t even handle the fact that my kid can now WRITE HER OWN NAME! Motherhood is not easy on the heart, is it?

    kgirls last blog post..Spelling Bee

    [Reply]

    Comment by kgirl on February 4, 2009
  17. I can barely think about the future without breaking into a cold sweat.

    Congrats on the Solo- that’s awesome.

    [Reply]

    Comment by petitegourmand on February 4, 2009
  18. If you’d like to just avoid all this strife right now, I’d be happy to work out some kind of arrangement where Emily and my 7 year old son enjoy a long and happy life together.

    Speaking of strife…as I’m typing this comment to you, the girl that is always w/my 11 year just rang the doorbell 84 times (ok, 6) and right now, they are standing at the door, whispering to each other!! ALI!! Um…I don’t like this girl! I feel bad saying that, but this girl has ridden my last frayed nerve. She calls EVERY MORNING.

    Seriously, if she becomes my daughter-in-law, I’m going to be that naggy woman, crying and moaning during the wedding ceremony.

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..as a parent blogger, it’s mandatory i write this post

    [Reply]

    Comment by differentkindofgirl on February 4, 2009
  19. Congrats Emily! Congrats me for having boys!

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    Comment by Captain Dumbass on February 4, 2009
  20. See, you made a crucial mistake – you let her out of the house.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chris on February 4, 2009
  21. My oldest has had a long-standing – and reciprocated (!)- crush on a boy from a really strict church that doesn’t allow dating. I hope that she continues to have crushes on deeply religious non-daters – it’ll make my life MUCH easier.

    Becks last blog post..Today’s Post

    [Reply]

    Comment by Beck on February 5, 2009
  22. congratulations Emily! that is so awesome….oh Ali i feel for you and so far so good my 16 year old thinks boys are idiots and 8 year old is very shy so no problems yet with boys!

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on February 5, 2009
  23. OMG, boys at that early age…I am so not ready for that with my daughter either.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on February 8, 2009
  24. Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms…

    Trackback by Anonymous on February 16, 2009
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