January 29 09

My mother is a crier. When i think of my childhood, I remember the crying. She cried at funerals. She cried watching movies. She cried watching TV. Hell, she cried watching commercials. She cried when my sister and I had ballet recitals, or piano recitals, or kindergarten Hannukah plays. She cried when she held babies. She cried when people were sick. She cried a lot.

I remember thinking, I AM SO GLAD I’M NOT A CRIER.

i mean, not only was i not a crier, i was the opposite.

THE INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHER.

oh, how i am plagued with this. oh hai, i’m Ali. and i laugh at funerals. and don’t think it’s just funerals. no, no. it’s at hospitals. while kissing. during exams. job interviews. at the ballet.

and then i went and had myself a child.

and now?

i’m a fucking crier.

i cry watching movies, and tv shows, and stupid-ass Bell commercials (bonus crying if they are aired around the holidays), i cry when loved ones leave me, i cry when i hold newborn babies, i cry at ballet recitals, i cry when people give awards show acceptance speeches (damn you, Kate Winslet at the Golden Globes for making me weep. twice.), i cry when other people cry.

i cry when i have to drive home in my stick-shift car during crazy snowstorms. oh, how there was crying yesterday, folks. i cried the entire drive home. the drive that took me over an hour (i’m usually home in 15 minutes). i cry when i realize that winter in Toronto lasts well into MAY and it’s not even February.

ohmigod, you all, i can’t make it through an entire episode of The Biggest Loser without crying like Ed Norton sobs into Bob’s bitch tits.

fight_club1

some movies need to come with disclaimers. Marley and Me, for example. I saw this movie, because the kids wanted to see it, and i sat in the back and cried big, fat, sobby tears. (please note: Marley and Me was one of the worst movies i have ever seen in my life. ‘Heel the Love’ as a tagline? WHAT? false advertising at it’s worst, my friends)

so, why did no one tell me what was going to happen to me when i saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button????????

BLUBBERY MESS.

i cried so hard that i couldn’t breathe. and then i cried some more. and cried some more. and cried some more. it was take-your-breath away kind of crying. i lost my shit when they said that “and some people are meant to dance” line.and the postcards! those damn postcards! i cried for ten minutes after the movie had ended while the husband sat beside me, innappropriately laughing at my expense.

so, now, i’m a crier.

and i’m currently looking for a good waterproof mascara and eyeliner. am thinking i can just ask Richard Alpert…

alpert

(note: i may or may not have cried while watching LOST last night. i’ll never tell!)

(note: i definitely, 100%, cried while catching up on this season’s Big Love episodes)

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  1. WHY ON EARTH DID BIG LOVE MAKE YOU CRY? You are not kidding about being a crier. I’m so NOT a crier. I fear if I give birth, I will become one. Baby free for me!

    slynnros last blog post..It’s Everyone’s Lucky Day!

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    Comment by slynnro on January 29, 2009
  2. I’m a cryer, too. I cried at the end of the Notebook in my car for fifteen minutes before I could drive home from the movie theatre. I bawled like a baby when I saw Grover at BlogHer last year. Just keep some tissues with you at all times!

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    Comment by Assertagirl on January 29, 2009
  3. haha I too became a crier (although the transition may still be in progress). Until I went to college I never cried at anything. People dying in movies, funerals, whatever. My mom said I had no heart or empathy.

    Then something happened and now I tear up at CSI episodes. If I ever have a kid I’m so screwed.

    Also? I saw Big Love for the first time last night, and HOOKED. I am going to rent the first two seasons ASAP.

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    Comment by Lyndsey on January 29, 2009
  4. hahaha! sorry my eyes are all watery from listening to THRIVING IVORY angels on the moon…yesterday my teenage daughter was trying not to laugh at me while i was trying to stop tears from movie i was watching..but i have always been kinda sensitive and cry at stuff easily.

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on January 29, 2009
  5. Nothing like a little crying comfort by Robert Palson. Classic!

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    Comment by Giblet on January 29, 2009
  6. I too am a crier, I think I must cry daily. I blubbered through Finding Nemo, especially at the end when he found his dad…sob! If it makes you feel better, I cry during my daughter’s ballet parent observation! My kids look at me like I have two heads and ask, “mommy, do you have happy tears or sad tears?” Gotta love happy tears.

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    Comment by Amberlea on January 29, 2009
  7. I’m a crier and I’m terrified it’s going toget worse once I have kids. My boyfriend laughs because it really is borderline crazy. I cried watching Eight Below because I knew one of the dogs was going to die and I had already seen it – TWICE. Damn Disney.

    Juliennes last blog post..Award season.

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    Comment by Julienne on January 29, 2009
  8. Now I’m afraid – I’m already a crier and I have no kids yet! But yes, Benjamin Button was by far the most I’ve cried at a movie in a while. Like my boyfriend made us sit there through the credits so I could “collect myself.” SOBBING. I also may or may not cry during commercials…

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    Comment by joscelyn on January 29, 2009
  9. Jeez. I never cried before I had my son. Last week I cried during Grey’s Anatomy. (Not about the broken “bone” though. That was funny stuff.) I’ll make sure to steer clear of Benjamin Button. I hate crying.

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    Comment by Laura on January 29, 2009
  10. have you seen the Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial? I almost died the first time I saw it. SO MUCH CRYING!

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    Comment by hillary on January 29, 2009
  11. I know, post-children, my eyes are watering at the drop of a hat. A commercial. A co-worker telling me about her efforts to adopt. Any good news for anyone, I’m tearing up. And christ, watching the inaugeration at work and trying not to cry in front of not-crying co workers? Not very successful.

    Emmas last blog post..That thing of which I have not been speaking of

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    Comment by Emma on January 29, 2009
  12. I won’t even consider watching a movie if I think it might be sad. Because if it is, I’ll cry for the remainder of the day.

    The worst is that I cry when I’m pissed and that makes me even madder.

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    Comment by Issa on January 29, 2009
  13. I may have also gotten a bit choked up during Lost. Birthing scenes do that to me, I dunno why.

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    Comment by Jen on January 29, 2009
  14. I’m catching up on Big Love tonight. Yesterday I watched “Prayers for Bobby” dvred from Lifetime last week.

    OMG. I have not cried that much in a long time. A mother accepting her gay son. After his death.

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    Comment by OHmommy on January 29, 2009
  15. My mother is a huge crier and I have always fiercly resisted crying, esp. in public. At times I’ve nearly hurt myself with the effort to keep tears from welling but I just resist it with all my might. I can usually manage myself. My kids, sometimes a book or movie will get me.

    Benjamin Button! So good and yes – tears. Wow.

    Amy @ Milk Breath &s last blog post..What Was I Saying?

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    Comment by Amy @ Milk Breath & on January 29, 2009
  16. Benjamin Button – WAAAAAA me, still crying two days later!

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    Comment by Chantal on January 29, 2009
  17. A friend has already warned me not to see Marley and Me. I cry constantly. The biggest culprit these days? BLOGS! Darn stories often set me off.

    BTW? Go read this woman’s post. It’s important. But grab a kleenex first.

    http://aboneill.blogspot.com/2.....-ever.html

    She needs all the support we can give.

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    Comment by threeundertwo on January 29, 2009
  18. That is so me! Never a crier until the flippin’ babies came along. Having real emotions show on my face just sucks.

    The season finale of House last year? Cried for 30 minutes after it was over. The Thriving Ivory song Lavendula mentioned…geesh, I can only listen to it when I’m alone. But I refuse to cry in public, I do serious damage to myself biting my lip, pinching my hand, you name it…never let ‘em see you cry! lol

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    Comment by AJ on January 29, 2009
  19. I think I cried 3 times from age 5 (non-baby) to 18. And then I met Taylor, and he melted my heart of stone. And now I too get choked up at Biggest Loser and commercials. And people who sing, or breathe.:)

    Kaleighas last blog post..A trip down memory TV…

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    Comment by Kaleigha on January 29, 2009
  20. Damn. Would you believe I never connected it to the birth of my child? DAMN! Then there was a divorce and ALL crying went away for a while. But it’s back! It doesn’t get any better as they get older, either… mine is nearly 21. I still have serious waterworks.

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    Comment by Keri on January 29, 2009
  21. What? Big Love! Crap. I haven’t caught up and now I am just going to be thinking about crying. Big Love isn’t suppose to make me cry.

    Also, after seeing Marley and Me I could not talk about dogs for a good 2 hours. Anything on the subject would start the tears all over again.

    Megans last blog post..How could you?

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    Comment by Megan on January 29, 2009
  22. Crier here, and an ugly crier at that. I’m sorry you’ve joined our snotty, tear-stained ranks.

    “Button” totally caught me off guard, too. THAT was a chipper way to spend my Saturday evening.

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    Comment by Legallyblondemel on January 29, 2009
  23. I was all caught up in your crying story and then you had to show us the Bob’s bitch tits? ACK! What the hell is that? Or what the hell are those? Or…something.

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    Comment by Margaret (Nanny Goats) on January 29, 2009
  24. I blame motherhood for turning me into a crier. I can’t even make it through kleenex commercials.
    But what part of Lost had you crying? The end?

    kgirls last blog post..Kgirl’s AllSorts

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    Comment by kgirl on January 29, 2009
  25. Oh right, the birth scene. Guess I’m not that much of a crier. Although your ‘bitch tits’ comment almost had me crying, I was laughing so hard.

    kgirls last blog post..Kgirl’s AllSorts

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    Comment by kgirl on January 29, 2009
  26. I am the quintessential INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHER. So is my sister. Woe to the person (my cousin, my bro’s wife) who puts us side by side under the wedding chuppah. OMG worst inappropriate laughing ever…BOTH times.

    And what is this BIG LOVE you speak of?

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    Comment by Haley-O on January 29, 2009
  27. Kids have turned me into a blubbery mess as well. And I used to be so tough…

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    Comment by Angella on January 29, 2009
  28. I was never a crier until like senior year of high school. We went to see When A Man Loves A Woman (the Meg Ryan alcoholic movie) and I SOBBED big, fat tears because it hit very close to home. Since then? I cry at everything.

    I usually have to pause Biggest Loser to get a Kleenex.

    Kristabellas last blog post..House Hunting = EPIC STRESS

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    Comment by Kristabella on January 29, 2009
  29. I wish I had a kid as an excuse for being a crier. I never used to be. My mother and sister used to call me heartless. Sad movies just didn’t do it for me. And then I read some book series. I don’t even remember what it was called, but the first two books were about this boy and girl and their life, and in the third book HE DIED. I was like WTF?? I was so angry, I threw the book against the wall and bawled my face off. Not long after I watched Message in a Bottle. I am now a cry-baby.

    Katies last blog post..Life

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    Comment by Katie on January 29, 2009
  30. I cried watching American Idol last night.

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    Comment by mamatulip on January 29, 2009
  31. Always have been a crier. It so much worse after kids, tho. I cry at everything-try driving with that stupid “Christmas Shoes” song on the radio (and I cried at the Lifetime Movie version of the song!)..P.S. I love You had me actually attracting stares in the theater. But worse than that, I cry when REALLY pissed off. Man, that sucks!

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    Comment by LibraryGirl on January 29, 2009
  32. I cried getting my pop refilled at Kum & Go last weekend. I have sat at green lights and cried, thinking they were red. While cars go by, drivers looking in at the crying girl taking a respite.

    Yeah. I’m a crier, too.

    I haven’t watched LOST yet, but the Internet (gah! The INTERNET!!!) may have clued me in on why you cried, and if it’s the case, I already know I’m going to cry watching it, too.

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..‘get the boys together get a ball get a run(s)’

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    Comment by differentkindofgirl on January 29, 2009
  33. Alright… I give in. We’re obviously meant to be. I’m grabbing my jumbo box of t.v.-watchin’ kleenex and coming over. :)

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    Comment by Judith Shakespeare on January 29, 2009
  34. I cry during EVERY episode of the Biggest Loser.

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    Comment by Kimberly on January 29, 2009
  35. I won’t tell you that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy made me cry. Every. Effing. Time.

    And lost? OMG.

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    Comment by Mrs. Flinger on January 29, 2009
  36. Dude. DUDE. What is going on with Lost? While I liked last night’s episode, don’t get me wrong, WHEN are we going to get answers??

    Re: Crying, um considering I’ve spent the last four days underwater, drowning in my own sobbing (you know why), I can relate =)

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on January 29, 2009
  37. I am definitely a crier too!!!
    The Notebook gets me every time – no matter how many times I’ve seen it!!

    Marley & Me?! Lol. I didn’t see that as a tear-jerker.

    I think it’s good to cry in movies, shows your emotional side :)

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    Comment by Bronnie on January 29, 2009
  38. OMG… I SAW Benjamin Button..I am an inappropriate laugher, but I was a BIG, GINORMOUS crying MESS at that movie….

    Lynettes last blog post..Marking my territory

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    Comment by Lynette on January 29, 2009
  39. You cried during LOST? I am so confused. Also, I haven’t seen Marley and Me, but I know how it ends…BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TO A MOVIE BEFORE! Oh alimartell, when will you learn?

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    Comment by heather... on January 29, 2009
  40. I’m still an inappropriate laugher. My kid fell down the other day and once I knew she was okay, I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. I felt bad about it, but still… I laughed. Bad mom.

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    Comment by Sarah on January 29, 2009
  41. I’m trying to think at what moment you could have possibly cried during Lost last night… maybe when weird Daniel Farraday confesses his love for Charlotte? That’s all I could think of.

    I LOVE Biggest Loser. I cry during it, too.

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    Comment by Courtney on January 30, 2009
  42. i don’t know that this post was meant to be funny. but i am laughing. a. lot. i too am an inappropriate laugher and commenter. but i can cry sometimes at the drop of a hat literally.

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    Comment by raino on January 30, 2009
  43. I never used to cry either – then bam! I had a kid, now I cry all the time. Moveis, books, the news, songs, blogs. yeah, I cry all the time now.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Another Mt Rainier – For My Mom Whom I Love So Much

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    Comment by monstergirlee on January 30, 2009
  44. My big, tough, retired Army boyfriend cries at movies all the time now! He can’t understand it and I just laugh!

    Joanies last blog post..You Know You’re From Philadelphia When…

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    Comment by Joanie on January 30, 2009
  45. I’ve always been a crier and it has only gotten worse. I also cry at EVERY episode of the Biggest Loser. Even American Idol makes me weep. It is very cathartic, though. Btw, keep me posted on a good waterproof mascara.

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    Comment by Jen Maier on January 30, 2009
  46. Oh, yeah, I think I started crying seconds after I conceived my first child. I knew I was a goner after I cried at a Kenmore dishwasher commercial. sigh.
    Anyway, I never leave the house without my Physician’s Formula Waterproof Mascara — I know I’ll be stuck somewhere crying my eyes out.

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    Comment by Nenette on January 30, 2009
  47. I’m almost cry proof. I knew I was supposed to cry during Benjamin Button but I couldn’t make it happen. My next scheduled cry is probably not until summer.

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    Comment by Mac & Cheese on January 30, 2009
  48. Since getting pregnant I’ve had times where I start crying and just can’t stop. The worst part is that I have no idea why I’m crying. Make it stop!

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    Comment by regan on January 30, 2009
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