There’s no one on the roads. no one in the Tim Horton’s drive-thru. no one in the office parking lot. no one at work. i’m the only asshole here. in a hoodie and skinny jeans and uggs. because it’s -14 outside. you know what -14 canadian is? IT’S FROZEN BOOGER COLD.
but it’s Hanukah/Hannukah/Chanukah!!!! (choose your own adventure…there are too many spellings) and this is certainly a holiday i can get behind. a holiday that celebrates eating fried food for 8 days straight. oh yeah!
well, i guess, if you force me to have another doughnut, i suppose i will.
and then maybe another one.
yesterday was spent going from party to party. i first took Isabella to her friend Zachary’s party where she insisted on wearing her “B for Bella” sweater. i didn’t have the heart to tell her that the B wasn’t exactly for Bella. heh.
but i’ll give you one guess who said this to her:
“Isabella…the B on your sweater stands for Burberry. DUH.”
then we went to our synagogue Hanukah party, where somehow Miss Emily managed to win herself a digital camera in a dreidel spinning contest. (i told you she was a kick-ass dreidel) and now no one is safe. she’s been taking pictures of me doing pretty much anything and everything i’d NEVER want anyone to see me doing naked.
(oh, and did i tell you that one morning this week my kids were on skype with my inlaws and i didn’t know and then i walked out of the bathroom after blowing my hair dry – which i do completely in the buck naked – and walked right out of the bathroom and saw my mother-in-law and my father-in-law on the computer screen?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then i died.)
and then we were off to my inlaws where my health-conscious mother-in-law decided to NOT serve any fried anything. WHAT? WHAT IS A CHANUKAH PARTY WITHOUT LATKAS???!?!? (ps. i don’t even eat latkas…i just feel like they are a complete necessity at a chanukah party)
and then we were invited to a pajama party at Tova and Fry’s. we were supposed to come in our pajamas and eat copious amounts of food and watch a movie and sit by the fire and do what people are supposed to do when it’s booger-freezing cold out.
(which reminds me…can someone please remind me that i live in canada and sensible boots are probably a WISE idea?)
apparently, though, i was the only one who got this memo. i came in my favorites…
my Victoria’s Secret donut pjs! LOVE!
i announced to the sweatpants-wearing crowd that i felt i deserved some sort of reward for being the ONLY one to follow the rules…but then when Fry started talking about subsets (and i had been told there’d be no math on this exam) i just went back to eating my $19 container of completely tasteless hunan beef
(seriously…HUMAN NOODS? WHAT?)
and watching Beautiful Girls ….that i forced everyone to sit through because, seriously, it’s one of my favorites…i don’t really think anyone but me actually liked it, but they wanted to watch Baby Mama…and hello? i love Tina Fey as much as Barbara Walters does, but still…Beautiful Girls!
this is why i HATE recommending movies to people. instead of enjoying the movie, i’ll sit and stress about whether everyone else is liking it. i once recommended Garden State to friends and they HATED it. HATED IT! what? how can you hate Garden State? and i dragged my sister-in-law and brother- in-law to see Across the Universe (which, hello, LOVED) but i stressed through the entire thing because it was totally clear that they were NOT GETTING IT. i guess i have kind of an off-beat taste in movies. I keep telling people that they HAVE the see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and Son of Rambow…but i just *know* that most people will NOT love these movies. but they are pieces of beauty, these two. pieces of beauty.
and ps, i’m still waiting for my reward….