December 22 08

There’s no one on the roads. no one in the Tim Horton’s drive-thru. no one in the office parking lot. no one at work. i’m the only asshole here. in a hoodie and skinny jeans and uggs. because it’s -14 outside. you know what -14 canadian is? IT’S FROZEN BOOGER COLD.

but it’s Hanukah/Hannukah/Chanukah!!!! (choose your own adventure…there are too many spellings) and this is certainly a holiday i can get behind. a holiday that celebrates eating fried food for 8 days straight. oh yeah!


well, i guess, if you force me to have another doughnut, i suppose i will.

and then maybe another one.

yesterday was spent going from party to party. i first took Isabella to her friend Zachary’s party where she insisted on wearing her “B for Bella” sweater. i didn’t have the heart to tell her that the B wasn’t exactly for Bella. heh.


but i’ll give you one guess who said this to her:

“Isabella…the B on your sweater stands for Burberry. DUH.”


then we went to our synagogue Hanukah party, where somehow Miss Emily managed to win herself a digital camera in a dreidel spinning contest. (i told you she was a kick-ass dreidel) and now no one is safe. she’s been taking pictures of me doing pretty much anything and everything i’d NEVER want anyone to see me doing naked.

(oh, and did i tell you that one morning this week my kids were on skype with my inlaws and i didn’t know and then i walked out of the bathroom after blowing my hair dry – which i do completely in the buck naked – and walked right out of the bathroom and saw my mother-in-law and my father-in-law on the computer screen?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then i died.)

and then we were off to my inlaws where my health-conscious mother-in-law decided to NOT serve any fried anything. WHAT? WHAT IS A CHANUKAH PARTY WITHOUT LATKAS???!?!? (ps. i don’t even eat latkas…i just feel like they are a complete necessity at a chanukah party)

and then we were invited to a pajama party at Tova and Fry’s. we were supposed to come in our pajamas and eat copious amounts of food and watch a movie and sit by the fire and do what people are supposed to do when it’s booger-freezing cold out.

(which reminds me…can someone please remind me that i live in canada and sensible boots are probably a WISE idea?)

apparently, though, i was the only one who got this memo. i came in my favorites…


my Victoria’s Secret donut pjs! LOVE!

i announced to the sweatpants-wearing crowd that i felt i deserved some sort of reward for being the ONLY one to follow the rules…but then when Fry started talking about subsets (and i had been told there’d be no math on this exam) i just went back to eating my $19 container of completely tasteless hunan beef


(seriously…HUMAN NOODS? WHAT?)

and watching Beautiful Girls ….that i forced everyone to sit through because, seriously, it’s one of my favorites…i don’t really think anyone but me actually liked it, but they wanted to watch Baby Mama…and hello? i love Tina Fey as much as Barbara Walters does, but still…Beautiful Girls!


this is why i HATE recommending movies to people. instead of enjoying the movie, i’ll sit and stress about whether everyone else is liking it. i once recommended Garden State to friends and they HATED it. HATED IT! what? how can you hate Garden State? and i dragged my sister-in-law and brother- in-law to see Across the Universe (which, hello, LOVED) but i stressed through the entire thing because it was totally clear that they were NOT GETTING IT. i guess i have kind of an off-beat taste in movies. I keep telling people that they HAVE the see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and Son of Rambow…but i just *know* that most people will NOT love these movies. but they are pieces of beauty, these two. pieces of beauty.

and ps, i’m still waiting for my reward….

  1. OK. The Skype thing had me giggling because I WOULD DIE.

    Also. We should make a Skype date ;)


    Comment by Angella on December 22, 2008
  2. Gah! I get the shudders when I answer the phone while sans clothes and it’s my FIL, so I totally get your Skype death. Sadly, were it me, I’d have probably stood there in horror and then the cam would have frozen!

    I’ve wanted to marry Timothy Hutton since I was a young girl. I just wish he felt the same about me!

    Oh, and since I can’t leave a short comment, I just have to say, Garden State? Meh. :)

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..i saw mommy eating santa claus


    Comment by differentkindofgirl on December 22, 2008
  3. Happy happy Hannukah!

    I’d give my right arm for a latka right now . . . who on Earth hosts a holiday party of any religious persuasion without fried goodness, by the way?

    PS – I must own those fabulous VS pj’s. Must must must.


    Comment by Legallyblondemel on December 22, 2008
  4. Happy Hanukka!!

    I totally love this holiday- and am trying to make a tradition for my girls by decorating the house, etc.. but I dont think they get it yet!

    Mayas last blog post..On Crooners & Gymboree


    Comment by Maya on December 22, 2008
  5. Yeah, it’s a bitch getting those frozen boogers off the windshield.

    Dammit, now I want some latkas!

    IrishGumbos last blog post..Cats In A Bag – A Play In One Act


    Comment by IrishGumbo on December 22, 2008
  6. Oh Emily and your label knowledge!

    I didn’t hate Garden State, but I don’t think it is as AWESOME as people think. But that is probably because I hate Natalie Portman and Zach Braff can go away any time now.

    Not your favorite Kristin :)

    Kristabellas last blog post..Sometimes I Hate Myself


    Comment by Kristabella on December 22, 2008
  7. mmm…latkas! wish I was friends with someone who would invite me over for some fried Hannukah food, sounds yummy! loved Beautiful Girls too; by the way, I am also at work & the phones are dead…


    Comment by Maria on December 22, 2008
  8. My mother refused to fry last night as well and baked her latkes. Baked! They tasted like garbage, complete ass. Baked!


    Comment by anne on December 22, 2008
  9. happy hannukah Ali! and i love offbeat movies.i loved the diving bell and the butterfly!and i would die if my inlaws saw me naked on my computer .


    Comment by LAVENDULA on December 22, 2008
  10. Oh, that Emily. I fucking love her. (And I know you, so I’m allowed to use the F word and your daughter’s name in the same sentence). Also, I totally wish I was Jewish.

    slynnros last blog post..In which I am a giant sellout. Because that is the thing to do these days.


    Comment by slynnro on December 22, 2008
  11. you laugh – but the Human Noods are way better than the Kitten Riz.


    Comment by Giblet on December 22, 2008
  12. Mmmm, latkas… What the hell? We have your weather out here. It’s been snowing since Saturday night. You know how many snow plows Vancouver has? 43. That’s it. Toronto? 600. I live about a block from the nearest synagogue, would they have some latkas if I trudged over there?


    Comment by Captain Dumbass on December 22, 2008
  13. I have weird taste in Movies as well, so I will take you up on your recommendations. I LOVED Across the Universe too..and I once recommended Tropic Thunder (which I thought was pretty hilarious) and NOBODY got it. ‘cept me.

    Lynettes last blog post..Introducing…My Christmas Card


    Comment by Lynette on December 22, 2008
  14. Ok, Across the Universe I would have to agree with your friends…I don’t get it! But Garden State and Son of Rambow are must sees on every ones list. Especially Son of Rambow…So awesome and way better than expected.

    Kalles last blog post..Sunday


    Comment by Kalle on December 22, 2008
  15. I’m afraid I laughed so hard at the very IDEA of you accidentally parading nude in front of your in-laws that I injured myself. HAHAHA!
    I HATE recommending movies to people – if they end up not liking them, I never feel the same way about the people I recommended them to again.
    Happy Hannukah, Ali!

    Becks last blog post..The Best Way To Spread Christmas Cheer


    Comment by Beck on December 22, 2008
  16. DONUT PAJAMAS? I’m sold. Done. Holidays over.

    Mooses last blog post..Pizza Delivery and a Keg of Beer Will Be On My Next Credit Card Statement, Courtesy of My Delinquent Wallet


    Comment by Moose on December 22, 2008
  17. HUGE fan of Beautiful Girls. I am often caught eating a good retard sandwich…Currently, I am deciding whether I should buy a Christmas gift for a guy I am not sure I am dating. If that isn’t eating a retard sandwich, What is?


    Comment by jodi on December 22, 2008
  18. 1. I really want to see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.

    2. The whole ‘kids talking to IL’s on Skype and then you walk in buck naked’ thing? HOLY FUCKIN’ SHIT.

    3. It’s goddamn cold. And, as I was reading this post, it started snowing. AGAIN.

    4. I love those donut jammies.


    Comment by mamatulip on December 22, 2008
  19. Oh! Garden State and Across the Universe are my 2 most favorite movies! I LOVE them! And I have heard of other people not liking them and it makes me want to CRY!


    Comment by Beth on December 22, 2008
  20. Happy Hanukkah!


    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on December 22, 2008
  21. naked skype – great party game (heh)…

    snow. cold. booger. lovely.


    Comment by Holly on December 22, 2008
  22. I fully support and love any holiday that encourages the eating of fried food. Happy Hanukkah my friend and I’ll eat a dozen doughnuts as a sign of respect. And I would die, DIE, if my Inlaws saw me naked.


    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on December 22, 2008
  23. Score on Miss Emily’s camera! Although it sounds like you’re going to have to put into place some sort of photo discrimination act!

    Diannas last blog post..Snow, my gosh the snow.


    Comment by Dianna on December 22, 2008
  24. Nobody in the Tim’s line-up? It’s a Christmas-Hannukah miracle!

    Oh and on this side of Canada is has warmed to a balmy -17… up from the -28 yesterday.


    Comment by Carmen on December 22, 2008
  25. I recently saw the Diving Bell upon your recommendation and LOVED it. One I wouldn’t recommend to you? THE HAPPENING. Worst. Movie. On Earth. Even Marky Mark can do little to save that trainwreck.

    Emily now knows what BURBERRY is? God help us all.

    Also? I want to be part Jewish so I can celebrate TWO holidays! (Though I would really suck at the whole occasional fasting part of the faith.)


    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on December 22, 2008
  26. OMG that skype thing is INSANE. PLease tell me they didnt see you

    Shoshs last blog post..Not Me Monday


    Comment by Shosh on December 22, 2008
  27. It is hard to recommend movies to people. You never know who is going to like what.

    That being said, “Beautiful Girls” is one of the few movies I actually walked out of. And “Across the Universe” — I wanted to yank my ears off so I would have something to cover my eyes with. Which is strange because I love abstract, off-the-wall movies.


    Comment by akeorlando on December 22, 2008
  28. OMG! I would have totally died if I came out of the bathroom buck naked for my inlaws to see! I was cringing just reading it.
    I haven’t seen the movies you mentioned but now you have me curious. My personal favorite during Hanukkah is “The Hebrew Hammer.”

    Happy Hanukkah!


    Comment by Angela on December 22, 2008
  29. Beautiful Girls is one of my favourite movies. The Sweet Caroline scene I love! There is so much awesome about that movie. I haven’t yet seen Across the Universe, but I can’t wait too. And the inlaws thing… that is death. I’d have to divorce my husband after that.


    Comment by Shan on December 22, 2008
  30. they are serving zucchini latkes at my son’s school party tonight…Wrong, just wrong


    Comment by Becca on December 22, 2008
  31. Beautiful Girls? One of my favorite movies EVER. “Two words not in her vocabulary: Lunch Money.”

    Sarahs last blog post..What I’m Reading Now, and a Mini Cry (More Like a Call, Not a Cry) for Help


    Comment by Sarah on December 22, 2008
  32. You win!! You win!! You win!! And for your reward…some tasteless human noods. Yummy. P.S. I couldn’t stop singing Sweet Caroline last night. Woke up singing it too. Good movie pick.


    Comment by Lan on December 22, 2008
  33. It’s freakin’ cold, eh?


    Comment by Teena in Toronto on December 22, 2008
  34. How ’bout ANOTHER doughnut (htf to you spell donut?) Happy Hanukkah!!! I just saw WALL-E and OMG OMG…OMG. It’s brilliant. So was Garden State.


    Comment by Haley-O on December 22, 2008
  35. I don’t know what’s most shocking: the naked Skype thing, or the no-fried-stuff thing.


    Comment by Swistle on December 22, 2008
  36. Dood… I am the same way about recommending something and being there when it’s watched or tried. STRESSES ME THE FUCK OUT.


    Comment by Miss on December 23, 2008
  37. I’ve loved “Beautiful Girls” for, holy shit is that movie twelve years old?

    Seems like only yesterday I was shouting “she’s thirteen!” at the screen but totally getting it.

    Backpacking Dads last blog post..A++


    Comment by Backpacking Dad on December 23, 2008
  38. I went and saw Beautiful Girls twice at the movies, it’s brilliant!

    My boyfriends kids were watching The Muppet Christmas Carol tonight and I felt like I had to over-explain everything because I recommended it and they might not get it. Hello, it’s the Muppets.


    Comment by LaLa on December 23, 2008
  39. I hate recommending movies, too, and for the same reason. Mike and I have a warped sense of humor (no!) and people sometimes don’t get why we think things are funny.

    Then again, my neighbors recommended the movie Jumper and in my opinion, it was predictable and tired. I pretended it was good and instead I was pissed that I spent $20 on it!

    lorens last blog post..He-Cat and She-ROAR


    Comment by loren on December 23, 2008
  40. Beautiful Girls has been my number one favourite movie since 1996, when I saw it pregnant with our first and then watched it OVER and OVER again when it came out on (yes!) VHS.

    Sweet Caroline has been my karaoke song ever since!


    Comment by Chantal on December 23, 2008
  41. fried foood. mmmmmm…..
    now I must go eat sub-par fudge because it has walnuts in it and Himself is alergic to it and it has to disappear or he’ll have another fit because he can’t eat it.

    monstergirlees last blog post..A Worse Packrat Than My Dad?


    Comment by monstergirlee on December 24, 2008
  42. I love your family.:) Also, I love your blog and finding 2 posts on my reader was a very happy Christmas Eve present.:) Loves!


    Comment by Kaleigha on December 24, 2008
  43. Also, nobody likes my movie choices either. I love all those movies you like.:)


    Comment by Kaleigha on December 24, 2008
  44. I read The Diving Bell and the Butterfly which makes me think I couldn’t possibly see the movie. The book was so beautiful and nuanced and unique, I would be afraid that the movie couldn’t stand up to it. I might see it just because you said to. I succumb to peer pressure.

    We went to a first night of Hanukkah party at a huge country club in Boca. It was overwhelming! A food orgy. Being called “Mamela.” Is that good? Or does that mean I’m fat?

    My daughter lamented in her Facebook, “I hate when people think Hanukkah is all about the presents.” I responded, “After the party we went to, I now know it’s much more. It’s all about FOOD!”


    Comment by Di on December 26, 2008

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