December 15 08

you know what’s awesome? having the flu (not the stomach flu, thankyouverymuch for sparing me) and a fever and the aches and the pains and the sweats and the chills and a fucking remote that has dead batteries and your tv is stuck on CTS, family friendly television from the day before when you really wanted to watch Family Ties, but what you didn’t realize was that on Thursday at 4pm when you first got into bed with your plague, that CTS airs Little House on the Prairie. At least it was the episode where Mary thinks that Ma Ingalls is having an affair with the random dude who shows up to help finish their new kitchen. oh, i’m sorry. on the prairie they call it ‘Monkey Business’ and then Mary Ingalls kicks Nellie Olsen’s ass…oh, wait, maybe i do kinda like Little House on the Prairie. or maybe it was just my fever talking.

you know what else is awesome? not eating anything for two entire days other than two gatorade C2s and GAINING 2 pounds. i am pretty sure i’m the only person in the world who can accomplish that feat. i better get my appetite back  before Chrismukah…because i would sure rather gain weight EATING homemade Reese Cups (i promise to post the recipe this week! i sent it to Angella last year. she can tell you…they are SOOO worth it) than not eating.

you know what else is awesome? when the person working the drive-thru at Tim Horton’s DROPS your Tim’s card out the window and you have to move your car up and GETOUFOFTHECAR to pick it up, even though SHE DROPPED IT, and then she doesn’t even give you your coffee for free.

you what else is awesome? the packers. *weeps* and *weeps* The Packers without Brett Favre = epic fail.

you know what else is awesome? showing up 40 minutes early for your daughter’s holiday play and still only getting a seat back here in the nosebleeds…

play

grade 2 parents are keeners, y’all. regardless, she was the cutest little dreidel there ever was (that’s her, second from the left) and she ‘lit one candle for the maccabi children’ like no one’s business. (there just might be video of the little dreidel doing the little twist…but only if you’re lucky.

dreidel

and when i say ‘if you’re lucky’ i really mean if i can make it through the day and not collapse after i get home from work and have a chance to upload the video which i hope actually happens because i also need to go to the gap and return the two turtlenecks i bought because even though their whole buy one get the second 50% off sale was GREAT, they failed to mention that their XS really actually is probably closer to a LARGE and when i put one on it went down to my knees and then i thought, “HEY, MAYBE IT’S A DRESS AND NOT A TURTLENECK!” but alas, no, it’s actually a turtleneck.

tutle

that is supposed to fit like this. i wonder if this model is actually 8 feet tall with incredibly long arms. i would have tried them on for you and taken a picture but i was nervous you’d all be “GAH! I’M BLEEDING FROM MY EYES, MIDGET! GET YOUR ASS TO A GAP KIDS” and then i’d be kind of humiliated. so, i’m just going to return the turtlenecks and maybe buy some tights that i can pull up over my head. because those are awesome.

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  1. Aww! Hope you feel better soon.

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    Comment by Shannon on December 15, 2008
  2. I have a friend who, after classes, would retreat to her dorm room and watch Little House. I still can’t watch it because of all the times I forgot, would go to her room, and be sucked into that simpler time! Cripes, I still can’t even read the books!

    P.S. That model’s arms look like draggers.

    P.S.S. I hope you’re feeling better!

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    Comment by differentkindofgirl on December 15, 2008
  3. That Tim Horton’s lass needs a remedial course in customer service. Hey, you didn’t tell me you were a midget!

    Sorry about the flu, my dear. I’ll see if I can e-mail you a cuppa java :).

    IrishGumbos last blog post..Monkey Wrenched While Searching All My Life

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    Comment by IrishGumbo on December 15, 2008
  4. GAP sizing is crazy. I might be thin, but I drown in their SMALL/XS sizes.

    I’ve been told by the outlaws that I need to make the Reese cups for Christmas.

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    Comment by Angella on December 15, 2008
  5. Wow. Sounds like you live in AWESOMELAND!

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    Comment by mamatulip on December 15, 2008
  6. I would keep the turtleneck AND get the tights that go up over your head and wear them together! That would make a statement!

    I’ve been saying small prayers on a daily basis that the Reese cup recipe would be posted. Is that bad? heh

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    Comment by AJ on December 15, 2008
  7. All I have to say is Brett Farve in a Jets uniform just isn’t right.

    Rubys last blog post..White Christmas?

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    Comment by Ruby on December 15, 2008
  8. Oh snap… I was going to say what Ruby said.

    So wrong. It just looks plain wrong.

    Hope you are felling better.

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    Comment by OHmommy on December 15, 2008
  9. I hear you on the gap turtlenecks. I got one that was a size medium (and tops I usually do large) and I wore it when I was 38 weeks pregnant and it was roomy.
    I’m all for a generous cut, but …

    [Reply]

    Comment by LD on December 15, 2008
  10. You reminded me that I have very fond memories of Little House on the Prairie and I think I want to find an episode to watch … and I’m not even sick.

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    Comment by Lee the MWOB Queen on December 15, 2008
  11. You know what else is awesome? The fact that I get to fa la la la la with you in just 11 days! Oh wait, that sounded dirty…

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on December 15, 2008
  12. Also, Gap? Is all about the vanity sizing. A small drowns me, and I’m definitely a medium-sized girl.

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on December 15, 2008
  13. aww emily sure is cute!hope you feel better soon!

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on December 15, 2008
  14. Would have been totally acceptable to kill the T-Ho bitch for that. Totally.

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    Comment by Captain Dumbass on December 15, 2008
  15. Crack is also awesome, but I’m guessing you already know that, Gap Kids. :)

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    Comment by Mr Lady on December 15, 2008
  16. I predict that when you finally eat, you will lose 5lbs.

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    Comment by gorillabuns on December 15, 2008
  17. I got that turtleneck at Gap and had to get an XS because it was so large. I’m usually a M!! Yeesh GAP!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kaleigha on December 15, 2008
  18. The Ingalls hired someone to do a kitchen reno? I think you may have fallen asleep and H&G TV came on and your fever kicked in.

    Trooper Thorns last blog post..President Bush Receives Great Iraqi Honor

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    Comment by Trooper Thorn on December 15, 2008
  19. You know what else is awesome? MUTANT ICE STORM that effing breaks the motor of your windshield wipers. So that you have to drive around in slop in Chicago and not see a damn thing out your window. And now have to drop money at the car dealer to fix it. AWESOME!

    The only thing that would make it better would be to see a photo of you with tights over your head.

    Kristabellas last blog post..It Must Have Been The Fake Uggs From Target

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    Comment by Kristabella on December 15, 2008
  20. I hear you on the turtlenecks down to your knees and the tights up over your boobs! I have the SAME problem! Mind you, not these days — boobs still have a ways to go before my shirts get long on me again….

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    Comment by Haley-O on December 15, 2008
  21. What’s Tim Horton’s? I could google it, but that’d take effort, ya know?

    I’m going to Gap Kids tomorrow. Would you like me to look for a sweater for you short stuff? :P

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    Comment by Maria on December 15, 2008
  22. Oh Lord, how I was obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder.

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    Comment by slynnro on December 15, 2008
  23. i used to love being home sick when i was little because i could watch little house on the prairie.

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    Comment by adrienne on December 15, 2008
  24. Aww, I hope you feel better! I didn’t even realize that Little House On The Prairie was still on the air, even in reruns. Wow. That show has some staying power.

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    Comment by Courtney on December 16, 2008
  25. You are NOT the only person who can gain weight while eating nothing. I have been known to LOSE weight while gorging and drinking Pepsi, but as soon as I cut back, my ass expands like it’s in survival mode.

    As for the Packers: click your heels and say “There’s no place like the NFL Draft.” If they keep losing…

    lorens last blog post..When it all goes wrong, the wedding is right

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    Comment by loren on December 16, 2008
  26. I think you should go back to bed for another day, with a “relapse”.
    Hopefully tomorrow’s a BETTER day.

    monstergirlees last blog post..bonus post

    [Reply]

    Comment by monstergirlee on December 16, 2008
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