December 8 08

awesome. broken water main at work…so every time the pressure drops, it sets off the alarm. it’s 8:30am. there have already been TWO fire alarm grab-your-jackets-and-coffees-and-stand-outside-in-the-snows. and they are telling us to keep our jackets handy…

happy fucking monday.

this is just what i need today. i was so looking forward to a day at work. away from all the whines and the SICK. my house is a den of sick right now…and i just KNOW it’s only a matter of time before Emily and I – the only two who haven’t had our go at the stomach flu – drop like flies. Isabella. Isabella relapse. husband. nannyHaydee. Josh. it’s too much puke and laundry for a normal person to have to tolerate, so now imagine what it does to an emetophobe like me. nothing good, i tell you. (plenty o’ panic attack. plenty o’ medication)

(but, the husband did buy me a special gift. a brand new garbage can, which is both sweet and disgusting all at the same time)

when a child in our house is sick, the husband is on sickKid detail while i’m on keep-the-other-children-happy-and-NOT-sick detail, which sounds easy, but really is very exhausting, what with the whole quarantining part.

it was so exhausting that i went to sleep at 7:15 on Saturday night and slept until 7am on Sunday morning. and i was still tired. so exhausting that i didn’t even have the energy to eat the cookie that my besties brought for me from starbucks (have i ever said no to Starbucks cookies? that’s rhetorical, because the answer is NO WAY IN HELL) so exhausting that i didn’t even get to enjoy the full amazingness of Emily, Samara and Nessa’s High School Musical 3 extravaganza. these girls are hilarious. and this child was born with a face for the camera.

so exhausting that i couldn’t even laugh at this conversation:

Emily: Daddy, i decided i don’t like chicken wings

Daddy: why not, sweets?

Emily: well, they are all shrively and foldy like Grandma’s neck

this is where daddy and mommy choke on their chicken wings.

Me: Grandma’s neck? Grandma has a very lovely neck.

Emily: not MY Grandma. just grandmas in general. their necks are all shrively and saggy. like chicken wings. ew. i can’t eat them.

that’s a lie. i wasn’t too exhausted to laugh. i almost died of laughter. because, well, she’s 7. and funny.

and, as a special bonus, i did get to enjoy watching Elf last night. good god, i LOVE that movie. and i love smiling. smiling’s my favorite. heh.

and i did get to take the girls to my office children’s christmas party, which is a movie and popcorn at 9:30am. If you forget for a moment that you are eating popcorn and drinking an extra large diet coke before 10am, it’s actually really nice. We got to see Bolt, which both kids loved, even though Emily told me she was kind of a little bit bored in the middle (liar)(shelovedit) Also, now, both girls have gone from asking me for a baby SISTER to asking me for a baby DOG, which is definitely a much more enjoyable request. my womb thanks them.

fingers crossed for no more sick. please. because, really, it will benefit you…because once it’s gone i can stop pissing and moaning about it, and therefore, stop blogging about it. so, it’s win-win for you to start your praying right about…NOW!

  1. “Santa! I know him!” LOVE Elf.


    Comment by Steph on December 8, 2008
  2. LOL to the chicken wing thing. My 5 year old decided she couldn’t eat those deep fried cheese sticks with the batter on the outside because they reminded her of “chubby babies”! What can I say but W.T.F.?

    Shannons last blog post..It’s hard to get good help around here.


    Comment by Shannon on December 8, 2008
  3. I’m a little concerned that you both immediately responded that grandma has a lovely neck.

    Wno is paying this much attention to grandma’s neck??!!


    Comment by Miss Britt on December 8, 2008
  4. I am LMFAO at the grandma’s neck/chicken wing comparison. O.M.G.


    Comment by mamatulip on December 8, 2008
  5. Ha! What a curious observation, but funny!

    My maternal Grandmother told me once she wasn’t going to vote for Ronald Reagan:

    “Why not, G-maw?”
    “Don’t like ‘im. he’s got that wattle thing on his neck, like a turkey!”

    G-maw was a wise human being…Happy ‘effin’ Monday right back at ya! :)

    IrishGumbos last blog post..Sunday Contest: Somebody Gimme A Caption


    Comment by IrishGumbo on December 8, 2008
  6. Sigh…the sick! My husband has been sick for two weeks! TWO WEEKS! OMG with the hacking and the wheezing and the groaning! I need him to get better already so he’s prepared for the inevitable sickness that will befall the kids next. I am so not the cleaner-upper!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..‘you can’t escape the hours, you lose track of the days’


    Comment by differentkindofgirl on December 8, 2008
  7. the ONLY good thing about the 3 month marketing campaign/lead up to christmas is Elf reruns.


    Comment by Giblet on December 8, 2008
  8. Ugh sending you many many prayers from your fellow emetophobe.

    Everyone around here spent the evening of Thanksgiving putting up their Christmas trees, my family was home watching Elf…and we’ll be watching Elf until the new year. lol


    Comment by AJ on December 8, 2008
  9. My mom is planning on getting neck lift.


    Comment by slynnro on December 8, 2008
  10. Elf (and smiling!) are my favorites, too! The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing LOUD for all to hear…

    Also, that pic (and convo) of Emily is priceless.

    How did you like Bolt? Shamelessly, I want to see it.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Thank GOD the 90’s Aren’t Making a Comeback Anytime Soon


    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on December 8, 2008
  11. I will never be able to look at my grandma the same now.

    Kristabellas last blog post..At My Old Job


    Comment by Kristabella on December 8, 2008
  12. hahaha!oh emily is hilarious ELF is soo funnny!i also love national lampoons christmas chevy chase is so damn funny in that movie.


    Comment by LAVENDULA on December 8, 2008
  13. Prayers? I’m on it! I love Elf too!:) Bye Buddy…

    Kaleighas last blog post..MY Top Ten Christmas Movies…


    Comment by Kaleigha on December 8, 2008
  14. That stomach flu has been wreaking havoc here.


    Comment by Jack on December 8, 2008
  15. Never seen Elf. But your kid? Major Will Ferrell co-star potential, because she is JUST THAT FUNNY.


    Comment by mrs.chicken on December 8, 2008
  16. I’m thinking of you and hoping for no more sickies. As you know, I think I hate puke almost as much as you.

    Kathys last blog post..CW’s first report card


    Comment by Kathy on December 8, 2008
  17. For me it’s the icing covered cookies that only come out at Xmas. I’d sell myself on a street corner for those delicious little penguins and polar bears.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Spinning Chicken: Why


    Comment by Captain Dumbass on December 8, 2008
  18. Laughing my ass off at the chicken wings thing.

    Your kid and mine, total freaking twins. Seriously. Even the cuteness of the poking out their non-existent tummy’s in pictures.

    Issas last blog post..You know what you get….


    Comment by Issa on December 8, 2008
  19. You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.

    love it

    hillarys last blog post..What Am I Supposed To Do When Life Gets Boring


    Comment by hillary on December 8, 2008
  20. Emily asks us for a dog EVERY SINGLE DAY.

    The chicken wing statement is awesome. I see she got your sense of humor ;)

    Angellas last blog post..Bodies In Motivation


    Comment by Angella on December 8, 2008
  21. I almost wrote a post today with this exact same title.

    But then I didn’t.

    I love that movie too!

    Sarahs last blog post..To the Floor


    Comment by Sarah on December 8, 2008
  22. That chicken neck thing is so right on. Although my first kid used to love to hold my grandma’s chicken neck skin when she was a baby. It was all hanging and shit but it was so so soft. She stopped wanting to hold it by the time she was like 18 months old though but it was kinda sweet while it lasted. Okay kinda.

    Lee the MWOB Queens last blog post..Bribes and Imaginary Reward Charts


    Comment by Lee the MWOB Queen on December 8, 2008
  23. Good luck with the sickness. Elf is awesome. My favorite color is navy blue. Your office has a separate kids party? That’s awesome. Mine were invited to our regular open bar party. All went better than expected. Your daughter can totally strike a pose!

    Hockeymans last blog post..Retraction….sort of


    Comment by Hockeyman on December 8, 2008
  24. Emily totally has a face for the camera, she’s gorgeous. Sorry about both the fire alarms and the sick. Eek for both.

    Diannas last blog post..Weekend Re-Cap


    Comment by Dianna on December 8, 2008
  25. LMAO @ Emily. How funny! My son recently decided he couldn’t eat the little cheese filled pretzel bites I buy because they look like fish with their lips puckered up ready to bite back.

    Fingers crossed for you!!

    Christinas last blog post..It Runs In The Family


    Comment by Christina on December 8, 2008
  26. I love smiling. Smiling’s my favourite. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! You know I love that movie!!! (Anything Will Farrell).

    And, Grandma’s NECK! HA! That girl is too funny! (And, thank you always for preparing me for what I’m in for with YOU-KNOW-WHO!)

    Haley-Os last blog post..Cheaty’s Home Fitness Agenda PART II & MILES MILES MILES!


    Comment by Haley-O on December 8, 2008
  27. oh I love the grandma’s neck comment – ewww! But I see it.
    I can’t wait to see Bolt. Glad they liked it.

    monstergirlees last blog post..The Coolest Park in Minneapolis


    Comment by monstergirlee on December 9, 2008
  28. OK: dear god, please get the sick out of ali’s house forever and ever amen.

    Margaret (Nanny Goats)s last blog post..The Bigger the Man, the Bigger Their Ego


    Comment by Margaret (Nanny Goats) on December 9, 2008
  29. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have never believed it was possible, but Emily just ruined chicken wings for me.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..The Worst Friend In The History Of The World


    Comment by SciFi Dad on December 9, 2008
  30. I love DVR. I recorded Elf this past weekend and my 4yo is finally into something NOT a cartoon. He walks around saying, “SMILING’S MY FAVORITE!” while grinning like a big dope.

    Hope the sickies get better!

    Colleen – Mommy Alwas last blog post..Enough uber holiday cuteness to make ANY Grinch’s heart grow three sizes


    Comment by Colleen - Mommy Alwa on December 9, 2008
  31. Little old ladies are going to be torching Hooters nationwide all because of Emily. Think of all those girls who won’t be able to afford their “college educations” now.

    Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..Chunky is NOT the new black


    Comment by Anissa@Hope4Peyton on December 9, 2008
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