sometimes we get these crazy ideas and i’m all, “awesome! a weekend with the kids in Niagara Falls sounds like a PERFECT idea! they can see the falls for the first time and we can go out to dinner and take them swimming and take them to see Madagascar 2 and we can have some GREAT family bonding time and i can squeeze in a visit with Tulip because she only lives 20 minute away!!” and then we get into the car and then I remember why we don’t like to travel with our children, oh, um, EVER.
exhibit a: the fighting.
there is NOTHING my children don’t fight over. over what carseat they sit in. over who gets to sit near me. over who gets what first. over what we watch/play/do anything. over who got the bigger cookie. over who gets more attention from me. ohmigod, they can’t even agree on a bloody boxed macaroni and cheese option. (emily chooses the obvious worse-tasting one, simply out of principle. little shit.)
exhibit b: the pit-stops.
my two younger children do not understand the concept of holding it in. they have to pee. all the damn time. wherever we are. gas stations. restaurants. grocery stores. movie theaters. they don’t care. wherever it is “I NEEDA PEE! NOW! RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!” so everything gets dropped and we accompany said child to the bathroom. i have seen bathroom stalls that no human being should never have to. it’s the stuff of nightmares, i tell you. and even though we cover the seat more than thrice, Isabella still manages to stick her chubby hands on the sides of the seat, for leverage, i’m guessing. and even the industrial-sized purell bottle can’t alleviate the sheer grossness that is the truckstop, side-of-the-highway bathroom.
exhibit c: they are kids.
so they do kid things.
like scream out “wow, Mommy, that lady is so fat!” for everyone in a two-block radius to hear.
like spill and shatter a glass of wine in a swanky restaurant all over several people.
like CRY because we won’t let them swim in the falls.
like CRY because we force them to wait an entire 15 minutes for our car to pull up from the valet. the nerve. although, that 15 minutes was a great time to cue a little bit of exhibit a and a little bit of exhibit b.
exhibit d: the sleeping.
there is no sleep. on vacation. ever. my kids are good sleepers. at home. in their own beds. that’s it. as soon as we mix it up even the slightest bit, they go all looney tunes on me. (no, not this one. heh.) cue exhibit a again.
so, i managed to see 87 bathroom between Toronto and Niagara. i managed to put superduper apologeticAli to good use when Isabella broke the wine glass. i managed to actually get my ass into a bathing suit to swim with the kids in the hotel (i HATE indoor swimming. almost more than anything. if i’m going to put on a bathing suit, i better be able to at the very least get a TAN) i managed to make it through Madagascar 2 (let’s just say…i totally feel her pain…) and i managed to get ZERO sleep. and i didn’t get to see Tulip…
so, it was kind of a trip from hell. for me.
but seeing my kids faces when they saw the falls? totally priceless. and made the trip from hell totally worth it. THEY HAD THE BEST TIME.
(i realize that we are not looking at the falls in this shot. but this was the ONLY picture i was able to get all three kids in. because got knows what happens when i try to get them to pretend they like each other…)