October 28 08

so, i didn’t end up seeing chaperoning HSM3. turns out that the party started at 5:30..but the actual movie didn’t start until 7. and wasn’t over until 9. it wasn’t happening. and 9pm was the perfect window to send the husband in between his work and his hockey. perfect.

and then this showed up for Josh for his birthday.

a) i promise i don’t really sound that ridiculous and b) i promise Josh usually doesn’t act that ridiculous. it was about 10pm and i got him out of bed to see this sucker. the speech impediment/eastern europeanish accent however? that’s ALL him. heh.

so…the toy is totally broken. we took it out. built it. and its blooming legs keep falling off.  this toy? it’s over $100. for that much money…you’d think he could get something with legs that actually, you know, stay attached. it’s not that much to ask, right?

bless me, xanax, for i have to take this coveted gift back. my son will likely die. or at least whine and cry a lot little.

oh, and did i tell you about Josh’s birthday party? the one where he got to choose 26 friends. and choose 12 animals.

to come to my motherfucking house.

i know, right?

skinny pigs. and chinchillas. and snakes. and rabbits. and frogs. IN MY HOUSE. when we first talked about the party, i, like a total dumbass apparently, thought that we would be going THERE. to an actual place. where they deal with the animal poop. not in my HOME. in the place where i live. and not to mention the 26 wild and crazy first graders.

bless me, xanax, for i have planned the most ridiculous birthday party.

this *might* be worse than the time Emily’s friends decorated fish bowls and we sent them all home with goldfish as loot bags. GENIUS, right? until the next day when every single person’s fish died. and all the moms were ever-so-grateful to us for giving them the opportunity to teach their preschoolers all about death.

ali and birthday parties? TOTALLY SUCK.

oh, and also, while we are complaining. i gave emily my glasses to hold this morning and she put them on the floor.

bless me, xanax, for now i have to figure out how to get my ass over to the eye doctor to get my broken glasses fixed. because i stepped on them. of course.

  1. Yup, gotta love those birthday parties – Jeremy turned 7 on Saturday and oh yes, I had 17 kids at my house, 15 of them boys 7 and older,yikes. Thank God, they confined their light saber fights outside as well as their food consumption, but yikes, oh yikes – go Jedi Warriors (you can check out pics on my Facebook).

    last year when Jeremy turned 6, we had 38 kids but we did at the local rec centre – my house isn’t that BIG!!

    Star Wars rule – nearly all of J’s gear this year was SW, etc.


    Comment by Heidi on October 28, 2008
  2. Actually, you totally sound like that. MISS YOU- weep weep.


    Comment by slynnro on October 28, 2008
  3. You sound adorable! And, that’s a crazy gift and MY KIND OF PARTY! Fun!

    Speaking of speech impediments, monkey’s been saying “th” instead of “f”. So, “get OTH”! haha! Remind me to blog about this because it’s hilarious! To me, anyway….

    Haley-Os last blog post..Cheaty Weekend in Pictures


    Comment by Haley-O on October 28, 2008
  4. You stepped on your own glasses?! Ouch That hurts in so many ways.

    Your boy is adorable, accent and all. :o)

    My boys are WAY into Star Wars right now. That gift looks so cool.

    And animals at your house?! I’m sorry…so sorry.

    I’m out of Xanax. I miss it. We were friends until it left me cold turkey.


    Comment by Rhea on October 28, 2008
  5. That toy is pretty cool. Is it actually broken, or just poorly designed? Because if it’s broken, you can probably exchange it at Toys R Us… I saw them there this weekend.

    Also, the birthday party plan? Let’s just say I’m glad it’s you and not me.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..Buddy’s Birth: The Final Two Days


    Comment by SciFi Dad on October 28, 2008
  6. Srsly youa re the best mom ever, even if you need xanax to make it all happen.


    Comment by KD @ A Bit Squirrell on October 28, 2008
  7. Who in their right mind would think that kind of party would come to their house?? You poor poor momma. lol

    Just the thought of that happening in my house makes me want a xanax.

    OK maybe I just want a xanax. Do I really need a reason?


    Comment by AJ on October 28, 2008
  8. FYI, my kids left shortly after I played this and are on their way to find your house. They would like to make fast friends with Josh and help him build and play with that Star Wars toy. They come bearing their various Star Wars Lego items to add to the fun. When you get tired of them, feel free to send them home. But first, blindfold them and spin them around a few times so they’re confused before heading out. I need a few extra days to clean out their rooms!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..‘…that is what I do, hey, baby’


    Comment by differentkindofgirl on October 28, 2008
  9. OMG. Ali, 26 animals in your house? 26 different SPECIES in your house?! Seriously, did I read that right? *snort*

    I mean, that’s enough to handle without the gigantic, totally cool and BROKEN Star Wars toy and you stepping on your glasses this morning.

    You are hilarious. Right around the fishbowl birthday favours, I started snorting. Just so you know.


    Comment by mamatulip on October 28, 2008
  10. My kid so wants that for his birthday in 2 weeks – he is SOOOO not getting it.

    Teris last blog post..Friends who Knit


    Comment by Teri on October 28, 2008
  11. I laughed so hard at the goldfish thing because I can totally see a mom of angry moms coming after you with pitchforks!

    lorens last blog post..Slumber party


    Comment by loren on October 28, 2008
  12. Oops… MOB of angry moms. Three hours of sleep here!

    lorens last blog post..Slumber party


    Comment by loren on October 28, 2008
  13. IN your house??

    You crazy Canadians.

    Miss Britts last blog post..Some bloggers are better than others.


    Comment by Miss Britt on October 28, 2008
  14. Oh my gosh, all those things in your house…and the kids?! You may not want to get your glasses fixed!


    Comment by Dianna on October 28, 2008
  15. Ali, I would have thought you LEARNED A LESSON after the goldfish debacle! But, hey, 26 youngsters and animals on the loose would melt anyone’s synapses. Did you hire a disaster recovery crew for the cleanup?

    IrishGumbos last blog post..Damn You, DGM!


    Comment by IrishGumbo on October 28, 2008
  16. I’m seriously considering not having a birthday party this year. I’ve got to decide about… now.
    26 kids? Holy crap thats ALOT. You rock babe!

    monstergirlees last blog post..Yellow Not Rose of October


    Comment by monstergirlee on October 28, 2008
  17. Haha it’s so not funny, but it so is! ;-)


    Comment by Ashley on October 28, 2008
  18. The only other time I heard your voice was from a video clip you posted ages ago of Bella and I think you kept saying “Bella…cookie?”
    And it was in the high pitched talking-to-a-baby voice.
    So it surprised me to hear you! You have a nice voice!!

    Christines last blog post..


    Comment by Christine on October 28, 2008
  19. The goldfish story made me laugh. Sorry.

    And the thought of you being “Dr. Doolittle” is pretty funny too…

    Angellas last blog post..The Back Roads To Kelowna


    Comment by Angella on October 28, 2008
  20. OMG, when I was in Guat City, I must have left my glasses on the bed and knocked them off in the middle of the night because I woke up to them BEING STEPPED ON in the most horrible manner. They didn’t crack, luckily, but I spent the next two weeks bopping around Central America with wonky shades. And SO close to my LASIK surgery, too!

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Newman’s Own


    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on October 28, 2008
  21. Note to self: pre-assemble before presenting…just in case.

    Second note to self: Let Ali plan the little one’s party, cuz if it sucks (and it will) Mommy won’t get blamed.


    Comment by swirl girl on October 28, 2008
  22. Well, the goldfish idea was a cute thught… even if it didn’t quite realize it’s true potential. Look at it this way, Josh will always remember his animal party. :)

    Courtneys last blog post..Obama Llama


    Comment by Courtney on October 28, 2008
  23. Oh the memories. I remember when I got my millennium falcon. The new one is way cooler, but the excitement is still the same when I see the new box in the toy store.

    Next year try a carnival theme for a party. My parents did that once and it was a huge hit. Just silly little games and crappy nickel prizes. For the cake, we got a gallon of ice cream and it was a make your own with toppings, etc… fun by all, little cleanup, and no animal poo.

    Hockeymans last blog post..Rainy Day


    Comment by Hockeyman on October 28, 2008
  24. Man, you’re a cool mum. I’m 36 and would love to go to any of those birthday parties!

    12ontheinsides last blog post..One Day I Will Go Too Far


    Comment by 12ontheinside on October 28, 2008
  25. you are totally kidding about the animals… right? RIGHT?

    katie ~ motherbumpers last blog post..want: part 2


    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on October 28, 2008
  26. LOVE the video. You sound adorable.

    Meg went to party where they did the live fish thing and hers died the next day. The good news is that hers was the only one that died. I forget why that was good news though?


    Comment by Chantal on October 28, 2008
  27. The toy looks megasweet. And that’s why I don’t believe it was for Josh. Or did Gav get to receive his off-camera?

    Pants Wearers last blog post..Oh, and Simon Rich? Screw you too.


    Comment by Pants Wearer on October 28, 2008
  28. I am breaking out in hives just THINKING about that number of children and animals in my house. HIVES, I TELL YOU!

    metalias last blog post..The "Cruel Fall Wind"? Really?


    Comment by metalia on October 28, 2008
  29. So much comes to mind. First, I love Grandma too.

    Second, your voice is nothing like I pictured it.

    Third, can’t you just rent a jumper, serve ice cream cake and call it a day?

    Matthews last blog post..Visiting the Pumpkin Patch


    Comment by Matthew on October 28, 2008
  30. No matter what happened, you are such a cool mom.

    Misss last blog post..Say


    Comment by Miss on October 29, 2008
  31. Come move to Israel where private b-day parties are usually not allowed as per school rules- in school celebrations only! It’s fabulous.


    Comment by Brie on October 29, 2008
  32. You don’t sound ridiculous.

    Also, you’re insane for planning those kinds of parties.

    Kristabellas last blog post..At Least Loser Was Spelled Right


    Comment by Kristabella on October 29, 2008

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