October 14 08

i was all set. i had so many things to tell you.

i was going to tell you about my awesome Canadians-have-it-in-October Thanksgiving dinner…

(come on…not bad for a first-ever-effort!)

i was going to tell you about my newest obsession.

oh, yes, True Blood IS that good. (well, with the exception of the Shannen Doherty-esque Alberta-sized gap between Anna Paquin’s two front teeth) (and i do have to un-learn most of the things i learned about Vampires from the Twilight series…since so much is different, especially since now Vampires all came out of the coffin. heh.)

i was going to tell you about the awesome commercial i dug up while researching what the heck a McDLT is…because, apparently, many of you miss it…

i was going to tell you about how even though i love Robin Scherbatsky and her alter ego Robin Sparkles

and i get that her Canadian accent is supposed to be, well, ironic. or something.…but it’s just so irritating. couldn’t they have at least made her sound slightly Canadian and not some Fat Bastard/mildly slow Irish man hybrid?

but then something happened on my way to work.

something bad.

i was sitting in my car at a red light, waiting to pull into Tim Horton’s when i saw him. to my right. wearing flannel pajamas, which i thought was funny, in a i-totally-wish-that-i-was-wearing-mine type of way, not in a what-the-hell-is-a-grown-man-doing-out-in-them way. and then he pulled it out.


i tried to look away and focus on something other than his, um, bits and the giant joker-like smile he had plastered on his face while he, um, tugged, at um, him, um, self.

i will never recover from this.

is 8:00am too early to start drinking?

  1. HA! You will never recover. This reminds me of a similar experience I had in London.
    I was riding in a cab to my hotel and we turned a corner and some old guy in a red flannel shirt and jeans was standing on the corner facing the road. He was swinging left to right and it seemed odd until I saw the stream. This crazy dude was making pee rainbows in broad daylight into the road.
    Boy did I feel safe that night with my hotel just 2 blocks from the incident…


    Comment by Hockeyman on October 14, 2008
  2. Ew! Drink. Drink a lot.


    Comment by Annie on October 14, 2008
  3. Dammit! Some people have all the luck! ;)

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..you realize if I played by my rules, I’d be cleaning out kids’ rooms right now?


    Comment by differentkindofgirl on October 14, 2008
  4. Ewwwwwwww!


    Comment by Ashley on October 14, 2008
  5. ah ha ha .. an escapy from the looney bin .. wow ..too funny..

    and holy crow, that is George!! that was a long time ago huh…

    nice turkey :)


    Comment by Sarah on October 14, 2008
  6. Okay so I need to watch True Blood then. I *Heart* vampire stuff… Awesome. Oh and that commericial OMG LOL!!

    Now to the eewwww factor…OMGSICKSICKSICK 8am is not too early lfter that…

    KD @ A Bit Squirrells last blog post..Kick Ass, But Don’t Forget Your Tutu


    Comment by KD @ A Bit Squirrell on October 14, 2008
  7. hi Ali I love TRUE BLOOD.I ordered movie channel central just so I could watch that show.even though i’d never seen an episode.any how not disappointed….once when i was in my early twenties a trucker (he was young and kinda cute)showed me his winky.gosh he must have been like 12 frikking inches i’ve never seen one that big.its a long story.and yes i was grossed out.


    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 14, 2008
  8. I don’t have the HBO so I won’t be seeing the sessy vampires doing naughty things to each other until a year after they’ve already done it. Sigh. DVD releases will be my friend. Sigh.

    jenboglasss last blog post..Reese


    Comment by jenboglass on October 14, 2008
  9. I’ve been enjoying True Blood quite a bit, too. I hope they can keep it up.

    Avitables last blog post..Vacation or hell?


    Comment by Avitable on October 14, 2008
  10. I love Robin Sparkles!

    And yes, very ew.

    AndreAnnas last blog post..Two


    Comment by AndreAnna on October 14, 2008
  11. You know, when I first saw that episode of Seinfed, I could not figure out what “it” was. I was young.


    Comment by slynnro on October 14, 2008
  12. What’s funny about Robin Scherbatzky’s accent is that with the exception of the times they try to over exaggerate it, it’s realish. The actress really is Canadian.

    jonnikers last blog post..Born In Time


    Comment by jonniker on October 14, 2008
  13. That’s a great looking turkey, and I so remember that commercial! Love the ‘timely’ clothing from the decade… but ewwwwwwww! Poor girl.


    Comment by Keri on October 14, 2008
  14. OMG… ew.


    Comment by Maryann on October 14, 2008
  15. A drink is ENTIRELY in order.

    Assertagirls last blog post..Overdose.


    Comment by Assertagirl on October 14, 2008
  16. OMG. Put some Bailey’s in your coffee, STAT!

    My brother and his girlfriend went to Marineland this weekend and while they were looking at the walruses, his girlfriend saw one of the walruses sucking itself off. She was scarred. Totally scarred.


    Comment by mamatulip on October 14, 2008
  17. HE JERKED IT IN THE CAR? I think you’re supposed to wash your eyes out with vodka.

    In other news, I love that Jason Alexander commercial. As for Robin Sparkles, Cobie Smulders is actually Canadian which makes the exaggerated accent all the more annoying.

    Nics last blog post..Happy birthday to me!


    Comment by Nic on October 14, 2008
  18. Ewwww. Unfortunately, I’ve had more than one incident like that on NYC subways. Drinks are in order.

    Anonymous New Yorks last blog post..New York Food and Wine Festival


    Comment by Anonymous New York on October 14, 2008
  19. WHAT??!?!?!?!? Was he in the car or standing on the road or something? I am grossed out.

    Sarahs last blog post.."That’s a Heck of a Day"


    Comment by Sarah on October 14, 2008
  20. Aughggggggggggggg!@
    Seriously. I would be scarred for life. Ew. Just ew.
    In other news, now I totally wish I had a McDLT. Bring back the McDLT!


    Comment by Elizabeth on October 14, 2008
  21. BWAHAHAHA You earned a drink with that one girl. And that commercial. 80′s AWESOMENESS. Wow…

    Misss last blog post..Please! Don’t act like you didn’t know…


    Comment by Miss on October 14, 2008
  22. a. I’ll take thanksgiving dinner anytime of the year!
    b. My brother made me watch epi #5 of True Blood on youtube. You know I’ll be up late playing catch up tonight.. it looks great.
    C. WTF? That is pure gross-ness. The same thing happened to my mom years ago. Driving down a long strech of highway to pick up my sister from camp – except the guy was looking at her… eww.

    bellas last blog post..self portrait ~ mirrors


    Comment by bella on October 14, 2008
  23. At a loss for words here. Seriously??? This stuff happens? Ah, have an irish coffee this morning, I think you are entitled. Isn’t Thanksgiving yummy.

    Kalles last blog post..Voting Day


    Comment by Kalle on October 14, 2008
  24. No WAY!!! That’s BRUTAL!!!!!!!!!!!

    And, yes, True Blood — AWESOME! Apparently, they’re dating in real life…Anna Paquin and the guy who plays her Vampire dude. Hott.

    Haley-Os last blog post..The PYKFH, the Beautiful Friends, and the Etc.


    Comment by Haley-O on October 14, 2008
  25. OK, first of all, EW. I had this happen to me once when I was in middle school, and nothing quite describes the horror you feel. I always felt like it shouldn’t be such a shock, but man, IT IS.

    And secondly, yeah, I love True Blood, too! Sexy vampire love.

    annas last blog post..6 Inappropriate Songs Played at My Gym, Plus 1 Extended Explanation of What My Gym Is Since Maybe You Don’t Already Know


    Comment by anna on October 14, 2008
  26. Oh George! Poor George from Seinfeld.

    Ykw, having someone yanking on his peter is a get out of jail free card for running a redlight. Seriously.

    Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..This is how we do crazy around here. Alternate Title: How many times can I ask what the hell?


    Comment by Heather, Queen of Shake Shake on October 14, 2008
  27. Nope, you can go ahead and drink. I so would. That is not what one needs to see at 8am. Or ever.

    Once we were at a red light and a guy pulled it out to pee. In the middle of the street. Only in LA.

    Issas last blog post..Wishing I was there today


    Comment by Issa on October 14, 2008
  28. Niiiiice job on the turkey.

    And a drink is DEFINITELY in order after that encounter. Blech. What a creep!

    Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..Weekend purchases


    Comment by Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children on October 14, 2008
  29. I don’t think drinking is going to solve this problem. The only solution is to burn your eyes out. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you.

    Rheas last blog post..Not your average, ordinary day


    Comment by Rhea on October 14, 2008
  30. Now THAT would have been quite a picture to post!

    Teena in Torontos last blog post..Ten on Tuesday


    Comment by Teena in Toronto on October 14, 2008
  31. tag, you’re it!

    junction mamas last blog post..Tag, you’re it!


    Comment by junction mama on October 14, 2008
  32. I would be traumatized for life. FOR LIFE!

    Angellas last blog post..Two


    Comment by Angella on October 14, 2008
  33. Ick. Been there. On the SUBWAY no less. There is no escape. Anyway, cocktail hour starts in a few hours. See you then!

    Jen Maiers last blog post..Spreading the Cyber Love to My Kids


    Comment by Jen Maier on October 14, 2008
  34. Wow, what a way to start the day!


    Comment by Dianna on October 14, 2008
  35. ewwwww!!!


    Comment by Mich on October 14, 2008
  36. Shudder.

    Kylas last blog post..Score 1 for the Internets


    Comment by Kyla on October 14, 2008
  37. oh my god, how awful.
    “slow Irish man hybrid”……….:)

    J from Irelands last blog post..Cheeks you could eat.


    Comment by J from Ireland on October 14, 2008
  38. Wow.. Eww. I’m sorry.

    zandors last blog post..I worry too much.


    Comment by zandor on October 14, 2008
  39. Oh, so “longest red light” is what ‘it’ is called these days, eh? Wink, wink…

    8:00 a.m. is too early to start drinking. 8:01, however, is perfectly acceptable. I’ll bring the corkscrew.

    And Jason Alexander shilling for the McMan! Wow, now THAT just might make me start drinking in the mornings. The suit (MY EYES! MY EYES!)

    All props on the turkey, looks good!

    IrishGumbos last blog post..I Am Not From Naples


    Comment by IrishGumbo on October 14, 2008
  40. Sorry. I read it in your eyes that you wanted me to do that. My bad.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..Fuck.


    Comment by SciFi Dad on October 14, 2008
  41. Is that the first time you’ve ever had someone pull it out at you?

    Wow. Welcome to the club! :)

    Chantals last blog post..A New Gig! Now with more contest.


    Comment by Chantal on October 14, 2008
  42. damn it woman. where was your camera?

    Sherendipitys last blog post..Oh hey, remember when I openly declared that I was nuts?


    Comment by Sherendipity on October 14, 2008
  43. eewwww!!!!!! Seriously!
    Yeah, turkey day on a Monday? What were they thinking eh?

    monstergirlees last blog post..Twinkle Twinkle Little White Star Flower


    Comment by monstergirlee on October 15, 2008
  44. Oh God. Now I have that visual.

    Thanks for that.

    Thankfully it is 6pm here and now I am going to go and cradle my wine. And blame it on you…


    Comment by Kelley on October 15, 2008
  45. YUCK YUCK YUCK. Now I need that little light wand thing from Men in Black to wipe out the memory of you telling me… And one for you too!

    Chantals last blog post..still breathing


    Comment by Chantal on October 15, 2008
  46. Man, you haven’t been showing up in my feeder so I’ve missed a lot!

    and True Blood IS wonderful. I’m personally partial to the bartender than the vampire dude.


    Comment by gorillabuns on October 15, 2008
  47. I have to tell you that I did NOT expect the ending.. how flipping creepy.. i feel like I got the cooties for you.. gross..

    Kims last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Fall Fun


    Comment by Kim on October 15, 2008
  48. SICK.

    People are yucky.

    But, I too loved the McDLT, also, I love True Blood, but I do suggest dental work for Miss Paquin.

    Rhis last blog post..Better Now


    Comment by Rhi on October 15, 2008
  49. Wha…?!

    Fucking people, I swear!

    Undomestic Divas last blog post..What am I doing? Contest


    Comment by Undomestic Diva on October 15, 2008
  50. I love TrueBlood. But yeah, the gap between Anna’s teeth makes me want to pull a quarter out of my pocket and see if it will fit through there.


    Comment by Shamelessly Sassy on October 15, 2008
  51. 1) When I was in Israel for the year after Israel as a young, bright-eyed, innocent yeshiva girl, I was walking through a park to the grocery store and heard a cough in the bushes. Instinct told me to ignore it but I looked anyways and there stood a man with his pants down holding himself and smiling at me. I ran like hell.
    2) My current apartment is in the back of our building and faces the back of the building on the next street over. In that building, there are not one, but TWO exhibitionist masturbators that stand at the window and get their kicks out of masturbating to us, the supermodels next door (another story for another day), anybody who happens to be in sight. I had a shabbat meal a few weeks ago and in the middle of dinner, one girl said “uh, there’s a big, fat, totally naked guy staring at us”. And there he was, right by his window.
    He tends to like it when we eat, apparently, but it’s hard to eat when there’s this big fucking guy stroking himself while staring at you!


    Comment by Tali on October 15, 2008
  52. Noooooooooo – I turned the corner in a book store once and a guy did the same thing – I almost lost it. Ewwwww. Now I’m scarred, my minds eye is feeling very dirty… and plaid.


    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on October 15, 2008
  53. Talk about your Red Light District.. ba dum dum.

    I’ll be here all night.

    Do you like True-Blood that much? I’m not totally sold on it. I have Anna Paquin issues. I do, however, like the guy playing her brother and the girl who plays her best friend. Still, I’m not sure.

    No Mother Earths last blog post..Thank Heaven for Little Boys


    Comment by No Mother Earth on October 15, 2008
  54. Ew! I was walking on a trail with a girlfriend when we walked up on a guy just whacking away on a park bench. It was horrifying!

    Courtneys last blog post..My Husband, The Animal Rights Activist


    Comment by Courtney on October 15, 2008
  55. At least you are an adult. When I saw a man doing this I was a child. And so fearful that I didn’t even share the story with anyone. Truly traumatic. But when it happened again at an art store – yes the clerk pulled his wanker out – I was still quite disturbed. Sorry that this happened to you.

    Renée aka Mekhismoms last blog post..It’s A Launch!


    Comment by Renée aka Mekhismom on October 21, 2008
  56. [...] while yes, i DID have a Thanksgiving in October, it’s not the same. it’s on MONDAY. there’s no all-day football. [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » gobble. gobble. on November 27, 2008

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