i sure love being booted from the network first thing in the morning. *sigh* that’ll teach me from rushing to make it to work before 8, only to have had my pc dumped from the system. getting dumped before 9am…over the computer…makes me feel, erm, defeated. Even Ryan, my lovely white knight who saved the PC said i sounded SAD. sad! (perhaps i’m still feeling slighty sad for John McCain. He really wants to be my friend. but if he really wanted to be my friend he should have thrown out some “maverick”s last night and just been less of a, i don’t know, potato?)
but…wanna know what makes me happy?
waking up to this
a gift from across the border. ah. love.
and while i was waiting for Ryan to fix me all up, i ate 2 donuts. well, um, 2 and a half. well, um, THREE. damn you, dunkin donuts and your donut-y goodness. i figure i’m safe since tomorrow is Yom Kipppur…so i can simultaneously ask forgiveness from Tim Hortons for cheating on him with my lover, DD (thou shalt not covet thy neighbors coffee and donuts)…and i can work off the 8 billion calories i’ll be consuming today by fasting tomorrow.
oh yes i will.
fasting.
which isn’t at all as bad as having to go to shul and talk to people. people with, well, Yom Kippur breath (fondly referred to as ‘ass breath’ around these parts). people who haven’t showered or brushed their teeth or had anything to eat or drink. JOY of JOYS, i say!
but, it’s the one day a year that little old men sport Chuck Taylors. HEART. pink puffy heart the little old men in their non-leather shoes. (although, beware, forcing Jews to wear non-leather shoes also will mean…THE DREADED CROC!)
my Pilipina nanny is trying to wrap her head around all these Jewish holidays.
“Miss Ali?” she asks. “is Yom Kippur that holiday where you give things to people?”
“HRM? You mean Purim? where we give people little baskets of food?”
“No, i mean, things. like clothes and shoes and purses?”
and then it hit me! i knew what she was talking about! The Jewish holidays coincide with the TIME ALI CLEANS OUT HER CLOSET. my closet is a miniature one. it’s sad and pathetic. the people who built our house built a master bedroom big enough for a king-sized bed, plus furniture, plus a full sectional couch plus living room furniture plus an entire children’s play area. but the closet is the size of a linen closet. WALK IN, MY ASS.
so, i change over my closet each spring and each winter. i weed through what i wear and what i don’t wear. and then i give it all to my nanny. shoes, purses, clothing. she is EXACTLY the same size as i am. this year…i got rid of EVERYTHING. i’m going minimalist. i don’t need 87 turtlenecks (only 27)
pants. all black and gray. THE SAME:
skirts. all black and gray. THE SAME.
jeans. i kept 11 pairs. and that black pile next to the jeans? ALL LULULEMONs. they are all the same style too. reverse groove. AWESOME. love love love.
what have we learned here today?
I AM BORING.
and I need to go shopping.
and I probably need to stop eating donuts. even if i’m fasting tomorrow. i’m probably going to need to fast on Friday too.
