October 2 08

it’s 6:17am and i’m sitting at my desk at work. in the fucking dark because hell if i know how to turn on the lights in here. 6:17? before this the earliest i’ve ever been in was, um, 7:58? but, really, truthfully, there’s no where else i’d rather be right now. (well, that’s a lie. i’d rather be back in St. Lucia lying on the beach. i haven’t been in to work since Friday, and usually, i would be all “hells ya! parlez vous vacation!” but instead i was stuck in my own little hell. the “vacation” with my parents only went downhill from that “wah, feel sorry for me, my mother doesn’t love me” post. but truth be told…i’m done wallowing in self pity.

i. am. awesome.

and if my mother can’t see that that’s HER FUCKING PROBLEM. it’s clear from my post that i don’t need her. i have amazing friends (ps. Tova? that Tim Horton’s large regular coffee you brought me on Tuesday morning? HEAVEN. you will never know how much that little $1.49 present meant to me) and amazing readers…seriously, y’all blew me away and an amazing husband who, if anything, is TOO proud of me and loves me TOO much. (and he only fought with me ONCE the entire week. usually we end up at each other’s throats because we are so stressed about my mom and stepdad – who, incidentally, did not pick his ass up off the couch a single time. did not thank me for cooking and cleaning up after him for an entire week and complimented only one thing…the oreo cookie ice cream – that we take it out on each other)

from now on i focus on what’s good. and not what’s toxic, i.e., my relationship with my mother. she will never change. and she will never be proud of me. so, it’s not worth the time and effort it takes to keep hoping that one day she’ll wake up. because she won’t.

so i drowned myself in a little retail therapy

(ps. the purple skirt is going back…because, really, a purple velvet skirt? but, i was stuffing myself with clothing instead of cookies…so it wasn’t the most rational of times. but the velvet jacket? AWESOME)

and a little geek therapy

oh yeah! boom chicka wow wow. it doesn’t get much geekier than having two computer screens on your home pc.

and a little kid therapy

which always seems to help a little bit. Emily declined from this baby-ish game of SLIDE. what is she, um, a teenager or something?

so…there is always the good. which certainly helps to make up for the not so good.

(and i never did find myself some spanx…but i did go all trendy-like and buy myself three pairs of HUE jewel toned tights…regal, chili, and sapphire. control top, of course)

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  1. In the time since I’ve been reading your blogs- which is pretty much since the beginning- I don’t think you’ve ever gone this long without posting! Glad your hell week with the parents is over!

    Comment by Steph on October 2, 2008
  2. RW&Co?

    Comment by Sarah on October 2, 2008
  3. So jealous of the amazing new clothes… and I’m glad the silver lining showed through the crap.

    The jacket is beautiful!!

    Sarahs last blog post..Internet, I am Spewing a BIG Secret To YOU / Shh! Don’t Tell

    Comment by Sarah on October 2, 2008
  4. I was beginning to worry about you when you’d been MIA the last couple days. Then I remembered – Mom. I should try that retail therapy thing. After a bout of time with my Mom, I’m usually huddled in a corner, rocking and crying. Sometimes I mutter “I’ll show her…”

    Glad you could see good through bad!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..what’s wrong with this picture?

    Comment by differentkindofgirl on October 2, 2008
  5. Very stylish!

    The good ole Dufferin Mall had a Spanx kiosk last month.

    Comment by Teena in Toronto on October 2, 2008
  6. I haven’t been to the Dufferin Mall since then … so I dunno if it’s still there.

    Teena in Torontos last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #42

    Comment by Teena in Toronto on October 2, 2008
  7. Good work, love the clothes (what’s wrong with the purple skirt?)! Instead of the spanx try the jockey brand-you may find you like them more.
    Shana Tova 🙂

    Comment by NEWMOM on October 2, 2008
  8. That jacket IS awesome, and I’m incredibly jealous about the split screen computer because, alas, I am also a dork.

    We’re dealing with asshole in-laws right now to the nth degree, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you to be related to the person who hurts you. So you have my deepest sympathies!

    I can’t believe he only complimented the oreo ice cream, lmao!!! That’s so rude! I think I would have bought five more cartons and served them at his plate every night just to be a jackass.

    lorens last blog post..Play me a tune

    Comment by loren on October 2, 2008
  9. Yay for tights!!!

    Miss Britts last blog post..Debating: Road Trips and Medical Ethics

    Comment by Miss Britt on October 2, 2008
  10. Darn you…I tried on that charcoal grey with black flower embroidery skirt yesterday, but the store didn’t have my size!

    Comment by jen on October 2, 2008
  11. Cute clothes!!

    I almost bought a pair of purple pants the other day, but I took some time to analyze the situation. What the hell would I do with purple pants??

    Britts last blog post..Thrifty Thursday – The Coupon Made Me Do It!

    Comment by Britt on October 2, 2008
  12. I so need to go shopping…

    Chantals last blog post..Perfect shit storm

    Comment by Chantal on October 2, 2008
  13. I’m drooling over your purchases.

    LoriDs last blog post..Nelson!

    Comment by LoriD on October 2, 2008
  14. I think you are awesome!!
    Glad your back…and I want to hear more about your purchases…like where? and can we see pics of the tights? I would love to wear them…but don’t know if I could pull it off!

    Comment by jodi on October 2, 2008
  15. Gah! I NEED to go shopping so bad. I just can’t show up in Boston in yoga pants. Or can I?

    sam {temptingmama}s last blog post..The Great (Canadian) Interview Experiment with Lots of Beaver

    Comment by sam {temptingmama} on October 2, 2008
  16. You ARE AWESOME! And that jacket…OH MY GOD. Beautiful.

    KD @ A Bit Squirrells last blog post..Perspective Changes, One Year Ago Today

    Comment by KD @ A Bit Squirrell on October 2, 2008
  17. I need to know where you bought those clothes…

    Good for you for not focusing on the toxic. Proud of you (again).

    Also! We have the identical slide (of course).

    Angellas last blog post..Super Trouper*

    Comment by Angella on October 2, 2008
  18. 1. yes, you are awesome – screw the naysayers

    2. wicked purple jacket

    3. tres jealous of the double-screenage!

    Hollys last blog post..U Choose #1: My Childhood

    Comment by Holly on October 2, 2008
  19. you. are. awesome.
    just saying.

    Comment by Giblet on October 2, 2008
  20. Whew…thank goodness you’re back, I was seriously in need of a post fix! Glad your hell week is over!

    That skirt with the black embroidery is pretty flippin’ sweet! Love the purple jacket, but I’m with you…can’t see myself wearing a purple velvet skirt.

    I can’t even allow myself to look at the picture of those monitors again. Not while I’m staring at my giant old school glass screen.

    Comment by AJ on October 2, 2008
  21. We have the sam cordless phone… go us!

    Loving Dangers last blog post..leech

    Comment by Loving Danger on October 2, 2008
  22. You know? I would give my left boob to have a kid of mine turn out to be as wonderful as you are.

    And my left boob cost a pretty penny, believe you me.

    Loralees last blog post..“And now for something COMPLETELY different…”

    Comment by Loralee on October 2, 2008
  23. Ali you are awesome and amazing! and i love that jacket.

    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 2, 2008
  24. Ooh, I love Hue! And jewel tones! If you’re a tights connoisseur, you should check out http://www.welovecolors.com

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Shameless Confession Wednesday: On Politics

    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on October 2, 2008
  25. that purple jacket is adorable – that should make up for some of the pain.

    jennies last blog post..Holding hands across the aisle

    Comment by jennie on October 2, 2008
  26. I beg to differ regarding the double monitor. Npw the triple monitor is a different story…I have a picture to prove it!

    Comment by Mia on October 2, 2008
  27. aww blessed retail therapy! I love those tights.
    And You are awesome!

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Listen To Me!

    Comment by Sensibly Sassy on October 2, 2008
  28. Seriously, is your mom too busy teaching the dog how to eat an apple then to say she’s proud of you? I really like the gray skirt with the embroiered flowers, very pretty!

    Comment by Dianna on October 2, 2008
  29. I love the jacket, and the skirt with the detailing. It’s GORGEOUS.

    And, about your mom, good for you. You are who you are and yes, you are TOTALLY AWESOME.

    Comment by mamatulip on October 2, 2008
  30. You are one awesome beeatch! Love the jacket. And stop tweeting about the knee highs, gets me all flustered.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..An Endearing Tale Of Larceny

    Comment by Captain Dumbass on October 2, 2008
  31. I’m glad you’re back – you’re almost as important as my 1st coffee of the day, which I drink while reading this page…retail therapy ALWAYS helps, I love the purple skirt, and I’m sorry about your mom…

    Comment by Maria on October 2, 2008
  32. The clothes are gorgeous, so they fit with you 🙂 I’m sorry that your relationship with your mother is stressful. We think you are wonderful Ali!

    Heathers last blog post..Do blonds have more fun?

    Comment by Heather on October 2, 2008
  33. Holy crap. I am in love with those clothes, that white sweater especially.

    Glad you are feeling much less weight on your shoulders. And fucking SCORE with the two monitors. I LOVE that.

    Misss last blog post..She keeps inviting me back….

    Comment by Miss on October 2, 2008
  34. I was beginning to wonder about you. The thing about retail therapy is you can always take it back when you are doing better if you want to. I never have, but you know, I could.

    I’m glad they’re gone, so you can reclaim your house.

    Issas last blog post..Alexander Miles

    Comment by Issa on October 2, 2008
  35. For the record, I have 3 screens at home…
    because4 if I only had two, then I couldn’t work on 2 screens while watching the tivo’d slingbox.

    Comment by Noah on October 2, 2008
  36. The retail therapy looks oh so good. I need some myself. Perhaps some online shopping tonight is called for!

    Renée aka Mekhismoms last blog post..Education is the Key for the Future

    Comment by Renée aka Mekhismom on October 2, 2008
  37. I am going to be so pissed if all that came from a store that we do not have here.

    It did, didn’t it?

    Rhis last blog post..You know what annoys me? Vehicular Edition

    Comment by Rhi on October 2, 2008
  38. Maybe your mother is jealous of you. It’s a big possibility. If you accept that possibility, maybe you can find some compassion for her — so you can heal your own toxic feelings about the relationship? Compassion works for stuff like this. It’s really HARD to find in situations like this, but worth it. You’ll feel better…. Just a thought?

    Haley-Os last blog post..HUGE NEWS HUGE!

    Comment by Haley-O on October 2, 2008
  39. Yeah, you are awesome and HOW JEALOUS AM I OF THE TWO COMPUTER SCREENS?!

    annas last blog post..Tanya: Creature of the Night

    Comment by anna on October 2, 2008
  40. Can I make a post request? I would really love for your to do a post on how to wear those jewel toned tights. I have some and have no idea what to pair them with. kthxbye

    Comment by Lottifish on October 2, 2008
  41. You.are.awesome.

    That probably deserves caps and an exclamation point.

    Therefore:

    AWESOME!

    Mooses last blog post..Exercise in Futility

    Comment by Moose on October 2, 2008
  42. So is your taste in clothes.

    Mooses last blog post..Exercise in Futility

    Comment by Moose on October 2, 2008
  43. I am finally coming to terms with my relationship with my mom – it will never be great, or even good. I agree that friends and clothes are a great substitute!

    Kates last blog post..We are Busy, oh so Busy…

    Comment by Kate on October 2, 2008
  44. Cute clothes!

    I’m not sure what is worse:

    Mothers or Mother-in-laws?

    Either way, I lose.

    Comment by Nichole on October 2, 2008
  45. Cute clothes!

    I’m not sure what is worse:

    Mothers or Mother-in-laws?

    Either way, I lose.

    Nicholes last blog post..Say goodbye to maternity jeans!

    Comment by Nichole on October 2, 2008
  46. Mothers can suck more than M-I-Ls; then again, i got really lucky with my MIL.

    Comment by Mari on October 3, 2008
  47. How awesome are YOU with the two screens…(drool, drool).

    Comment by Margaret (Nanny Goat on October 3, 2008
  48. I clearly need “therapy.”

    🙂

    180/360s last blog post..Interlude

    Comment by 180/360 on October 3, 2008
  49. I agree.

    you. are. awesome.

    I love your spirit and the way that comes through in your writing.

    And you want to know the best thing about having a mother who doesn’t appreciate you? Your own kids won’t ever have to feel that way.

    Matthews last blog post..Feds hold yard sale to help fund bailout

    Comment by Matthew on October 3, 2008
  50. Do you even need Spanx, you hot skinny hootchie?

    Hey Ali’s mom – Booyah! You are blind. Ali rocks!

    Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..This is how we do crazy around here. Alternate Title: How many times can I ask what the hell?

    Comment by Heather, Queen of Shake Shake on October 4, 2008
  51. Good for you for realizing how your mom is and trying not to let it affect you! We all know you’re awesome and really that’s all you need.

    Two computer screens? Nerd.

    Kristabellas last blog post..It’s A Wonder Anyone Ever Gave Me A Job

    Comment by Kristabella on October 4, 2008
  52. Do we have the same mother? Because they at least went to the same mothering school.

    And I super duper desperately need to know where those clothes came from Miss Awesome You!

    Comment by Emily on October 5, 2008
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