September 4 08

many of you are familiar with the uniqueness of my daughter Emily. She’s seven. she was born in 2001, and yet, many of my friends, i believe, would rather be friends with her than with me. She’s funny. She’s pretty. She’s wicked smart. She’s got great rhythm. She has way better style than her mom. she like what i like – boys, clothes, shopping, tv. she and i are well on our way to becoming very gilmore girls-ian

i had her when i was just shy of turning 23. i had an infant when i still was, well, an infant. when she was born, i was terrified. i didn’t know how to make sure i fed myself…how was i going to be responsible to make sure someone else got fed??! so, i did what i knew. i used instinct, not books. i used common sense, not somebody else’s methods. i believed in bedtimes. and routines. and rules. and it worked. Emily was a great baby. the icing on the cake. easygoing. happy. slept through the night at 4 weeks.

and then when she was 20 months old, she got herself a giant wake-up call. a baby brother. so, that was when my perfect little baby turned into the perfect little diva. it started the day she turned 2 and decided that she HAD to only wear skirts. 17 pairs of pants shelved for the next baby girl. skirts. dresses. only. and you couldn’t be her friend if you wore pants. oh no. she was TWO. and it hasn’t stopped since. she’s a girl who knows what she wants. she’s a girl without self-esteem issues (oh her first day of a new school she passed around a sheet of paper for people to write down their phone numbers. she was 6) she’s a girl with an independent woman spirit.

only she’s also a girl who has a little problem.

she has become a LEECH.

an appendage. and what’s she leeching on to these days?

oh. me. lucky, lucky me.

i pull out my camera to take my daily photo for the working closet pool (which YOU should join), and there she is:

i go to pose for a picture in the pool…and there she is:

everywhere i turn, there she is.

if i’m eating something, she wants to try it. if i’m doing a sudoku, she wants to fill the numbers in. if i’m watching tv in bed, i find Emily snuggled into me, her head resting on my shoulder. if i sit down at the computer, there’s Emily, wanting to see what i’m doing. kitchen, dining room, family room, basement. wherever i go. she follows.

when we go to Jack and Ilana’s…when she used to run off and lead the kids in ‘playing camp’…now she sits with the adults. she sits and listens. and soaks it all in. i have to watch what i say. all the time.

and then, of course, there are times when i forget she’s there. like when the discussion of Cheesecake Factory fish tacos came up

me: “just the sound of the ‘fish taco‘ makes me NEVER want to order it!”

tova: “oh, right, because you don’t like fish”

me: “no, it’s because i don’t like vagina”

and there was Emily. sitting there. smiling away. my appendage.

HOLD ME.

i love her. and i love that she loves to spend time with me. she’s an awesome little girl and i know she and i are going to be best friends. i love to hang out with her. i love to shop with her. and cook with her. and watch tv with her.

but i am suffocating. i NEED my space.

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  1. I

    Mayas last blog post..Labor Day Weekend & Other Stuff

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    Comment by Maya on September 4, 2008
  2. I

    Mayas last blog post..Labor Day Weekend & Other Stuff

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    Comment by Maya on September 4, 2008
  3. Excuse the first two responses- something weird happened.

    So- I think this is a phase. I was so close to my mom like that as a kid- and now I hate her (I kid, I kid). She’s learning to be a woman from you. You are her role model. I think it’s beautiful- but dont quote me- my tune may be different in 6 years when both my girls act that way!

    Mayas last blog post..Labor Day Weekend & Other Stuff

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    Comment by Maya on September 4, 2008
  4. De-lurking to say that (a) I love your blog and (b) love that necklace that you are wearing in the first pic–where’d you get it? I’m having a hard time finding good beads!

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    Comment by monkeygirl on September 4, 2008
  5. I do think you look adorable with that baby girl hanging from your waist!
    I also think it might be the age. I have a 7 year old (boy, though…no skirts) and he has taken to wanting to be with me 24/7. Sit with me, MOM. Watch my practice, MOM. And up and up my butt he climbs. Enjoy it, I suspect it won’t last. Soon it will be hard for her to understand how you manage to survive, because you will get THAT stupid. I have a 10 year old…I know what I am talking about!

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    Comment by jodi on September 4, 2008
  6. I feel your pain. I currently have a soon to be 4yo leech. My 5-going-on-15yo, however, has already blown through the leech stage and is entering the “don’t hug me in front of my friends” stage. And he already thinks he’s smarter than me (sadly that may be true, but I digress). I’m not sure which stage I dislike the most!

    Good thing the little boogers are cute and loveable, eh? Or we might have to sell them to the gypsies.

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    Comment by AJ on September 4, 2008
  7. Another reason we are twins. I have not even *tried* a fish taco. I love seafood and I love Mexican food. The name “fish taco” just sounds WRONG to me.

    Angellas last blog post..Seasons Change

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    Comment by Angella on September 4, 2008
  8. For years I’ve said that if I ever had a band, I would name it Fish Taco.

    hahaha – fish taco!

    mrs. chickens last blog post..If You Have A Spare $2,000

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    Comment by mrs. chicken on September 4, 2008
  9. I’m 24 and sad to say I still do this to my mom except now she calls me on it; “Sarah what are you doing? I am putting on my makeup, you don’t need to look over my shoulder”
    WHen I visit her I have this strong pull to leech onto her. haha, sorry lady it never ends.

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..He Loves Me For My Looks

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    Comment by Sensibly Sassy on September 4, 2008
  10. Sometimes my 17 year old daughter will still do the leech thing. I feel your pain. Love them – just need the space. And fish tacos – love fish, love tacos, never the two should meet.

    Debbies last blog post..A rant about math – but I do go off on a few tangents

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    Comment by Debbie on September 4, 2008
  11. Mmmmmmm. Fish taco.

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    Comment by Matthew on September 4, 2008
  12. but shes so cute Ali!…i have 3 daughters and they take turns with the hanging off me.mum mum mum!!!! hey AJ. SOME TIMES I TELL MINE THAT I’LL SELL THEM TO THE GYPSIES THEN I CHANGE MY MIND RIGHT AWAY AND SAY FORGET IT YOU STAY HERE AND I’LL GO LIVE WITH THE GYPSIES.oopps sorry forgot i was on caps lock…

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on September 4, 2008
  13. Maya kind of hit it on the head in her comment up there — I too was VERY close to my mother while growing up. Only recently (at age 26!) have I begun to truly be on my own. It’s liberating, but it has been difficult. I would embrace the time you have with her, while she is young, but be sure to establish some sort of line…being too close with ones mother can be dangerous! ;)

    And yes, those fish tacos look rather yummy.

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    Comment by the a.r.w. on September 4, 2008
  14. Ugh, both of my kids go through that phase.

    And yes, I love them. But holy hell – I don’t love ANYONE that damn much!!!

    Miss Britts last blog post..Behind the scenes of Clearly, You’re Retarded

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    Comment by Miss Britt on September 4, 2008
  15. This is all fine and good, however, in another four or five years, you’re going to write a post where you whine about how Emily never wants to spend any time with you anymore. ;)

    SciFi Dads last blog post..A(nother) Weekend Of Nesting

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    Comment by SciFi Dad on September 4, 2008
  16. I was like that with my mom and Maya so is with me…well Nata is too. They want to be like us, which is sweet and cool and really dang irritating.

    I feel your pain, I do. Since I’m right there with you, I have no suggestions. I try to enjoy it, because I know it won’t last. Have you had the this is mommies time talk with her?

    Must say, she’s a dam cute appendage.

    Issas last blog post..Announcements for the day

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    Comment by Issa on September 4, 2008
  17. I feel like I should give you some emotional support right now, but gosh darn it, all I can think is that I want your boobs. They are HOT!

    Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Everything’s A-Okay If Living with an Evil Genius Equals A-Okay

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    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on September 4, 2008
  18. I have that shirt. :)
    I’ve never had fish tacos, and I love that you said that in front of your appendage.

    Marias last blog post..I was so, so sure. And I was so, so wrong.

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    Comment by Maria on September 4, 2008
  19. I have an Emily too. She’s going to be 9 next week..and although I am so proud of the young ‘lady’ she’s becoming….I can’t believe how much she is like me! That’s the scary part.

    (poor girl)

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    Comment by swirl girl on September 4, 2008
  20. I’m sorry but thats down right adorable.

    Does this mean we have to watch our language? I might not be able to come here anymore.

    Misss last blog post..The imaginary perfect ending

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    Comment by Miss on September 4, 2008
  21. The fish taco cannot be beat … in any form

    always home and uncos last blog post..Remnants of Summer’s Demise

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    Comment by always home and unco on September 4, 2008
  22. I SO hear you on the suffocation and the needing of the space. Hello TWO leeches over here — all the live long day…….. Emily’s awesome! :)

    Haley-Os last blog post..Why Bad Mood Sally Is BACK

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    Comment by Haley-O on September 4, 2008
  23. Might I borrow Emily? Do you think she’d want to hang out with me? I ask this of you because I gave birth to two boys who pretty much jumped out of my womb, gave me a random wave, said ‘see ya,’ and took off. Oh, sure, they come around with the love from time to time. They’re smart enough to know when their birthdays and Christmas is approaching, so they shower me with hugs and kisses for like two months prior, then they go do boy things again! I need a girl!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..‘you got the teeth of the hydra upon you’

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    Comment by differentkindofgirl on September 4, 2008
  24. I can’t help but wonder if Emily is a clone of my daughter. Or if, perhaps, we are distant relatives.
    It sounds like you have been sitting on my counch soaking up everything you see then blogging about it. However, on top of following me everywhere, she constantly talks. Mommy Mommy Mommy all day. I hear it my dreams! I too need a little space.

    Collettes last blog post..That Lip, I can’t resist the lip

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    Comment by Collette on September 4, 2008
  25. Oh alimartel, Fish Tacos are one of life’s most glorious foods. Come to LA. I will lead to you heaven.

    Also, Fish Taco? HEE! Vagina.

    Okay, so my real point is, I definitely like my space, but I really can’t wait until Maddie hits this stage because that will mean she loves me more than Mike. YAY!

    heather…s last blog post..I’m Ready For Prime-Time, Player

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    Comment by heather... on September 4, 2008
  26. PS I’m not worried about Mike reading my comment, because as soon as he sees that picture of the Gilmore Girls he will stop reading. He hates that I love that show!

    heather…s last blog post..I’m Ready For Prime-Time, Player

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    Comment by heather... on September 4, 2008
  27. I have three boys who at ages 5, 3 and 2 already want nothing to do with me. If that doesn’t scare you lucky, than know that someday, I will be someone’s husband’s MOTHER-IN-LAW. Yes, I will be the one their wives will hate despite my perfection.

    Undomestic Divas last blog post..Happy Trails…

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    Comment by Undomestic Diva on September 4, 2008
  28. I loved the Gilmore Girls, well, until the last few seasons when the writers changed and then it kinda sucked.

    And I am totally ok with being a man and saying, I loved the Gilmore Girls.

    Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Thursday: Get Ready To Throw Your Panties

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    Comment by Captain Dumbass on September 4, 2008
  29. I always giggle a little when I hear “fish taco”. On an unrelated note, I love your shoes in the pic with your little one.

    jenboglasss last blog post..Friends Don’t Let Friends Dance and Drive. At Least My Family Doesn’t

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    Comment by jenboglass on September 4, 2008
  30. OMG,I have a leech-y little one also. He’s 8 y/o and basically has no use for his Father. Ever since I “borned” him he has been my shadow. Everyone says that he will grow out of it but I need to know WHEN?

    poseys last blog post..It Was Just Too Much

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    Comment by posey on September 4, 2008
  31. My oldest is like this, always has been. Suck suck suck you dry. The youngest? Not at all – but the oldest? Constantly on top of me. I feel you, girl.

    [and the Stand By Me clip SLAYED ME. Slayed me. Seriously.]

    maggie, dammits last blog post..Bats all up in my belfry: Twitter, the expanded edition

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    Comment by maggie, dammit on September 4, 2008
  32. those shoes! i’d leech to you too!

    meanies last blog post..

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    Comment by meanie on September 4, 2008
  33. LOL – seriously Ali, you crack my shit up! I am still laughing over this.

    And dude. How anyone can say ‘fish taco’ without thinking of gyn is BEYOND me. I was listening to CFNY this morning and they kept playing that audio clip of…I think it’s Shawn Johnson saying something like “It really pops my taco!” I was laughing so hard people in other cars were watching me.

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    Comment by mamatulip on September 4, 2008
  34. Hahahahaha. Emily is ME. Well, pre-leech phase, that is =)

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on September 5, 2008
  35. aww she wants to be just like you :-)

    i can understand needing space – not sure how you do it though!!

    wow, i didn’t realise you had her at that age… guess i never really did the math!

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    Comment by Bronnie on September 5, 2008
  36. At least Emily can give you style and makeup tips while she hangs off you. Alex is at this stage too and all he does is wipe snots on me and ask me to pull his finger. It’s kind of like having my husband hang all over me, but he doesn’t pay my credit card bills.

    Chantals last blog post..Yeah, this is fun

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    Comment by Chantal on September 7, 2008
  37. To clarify, Alex doesn’t pay my credit card bills. John does. So it’s okay (sorta) for him to wipe snots on me.

    Chantals last blog post..Yeah, this is fun

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    Comment by Chantal on September 7, 2008
  38. Aww – that’s a pretty cool appendage you got there…

    And so with you on the fish taco thing – that name has always made me giggle with embarassment…

    Don Mills Divas last blog post..The Saga of Creepy Whistling Dude Part II – Gumball Rally

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    Comment by Don Mills Diva on September 8, 2008
  39. I’m sure it is just a phase. And at least you weren’t talking about Pink Tacos.

    Kristabellas last blog post..Unemployed: Day 4

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    Comment by Kristabella on September 11, 2008
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