July 31 08

things were looking pretty good. even though i had to park about seven hundred miles from the airport and had to take a shuttle to get to my terminal and had to pay $2.85 for 500ml of Evian (ps. thanks random stranger who gave me the extra 13 cents i needed to pay for my water. who knew it would be that much $?!??!), i got to my gate with time to spare. i sat down to read my new book


(ps. 3 chapters in and i already love it.)

and then i hear

“we regret to inform you that your flight has been cancelled due to the flight being understaffed. now if you’d kindly blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”

half of me tuned out once i heard her say that i was going to have to go through Canadian customs. even though i didn’t even fucking leave the country. and the other half of me coudn’t hear any sort of rational instructions because some asian asshole was ANGRY and going all caveman on the poor gate agent.

so…i raced to canadian customs. and had to fill out a customs form.

“anything to declare Mrs. Martell?”

“yes. never fly Air Canada”

then i raced – The Amazing Race style – down to the baggage claim to claim my bag and then up to ticketing to book and get myself on another flight. but at this pit stop i didn’t get to see Phil Koeghan and the bathmat of philimination (and some random midget ?!!)….

all i saw was a giant-ass line of disgruntled passengers.

and then they wanted to me to step out of line. i was 8th. and go home. and call a number to rebook. and that’s where Ali@30 whipped out her balls of steel and went apeshit on the Air Canada representative.

“we are trying to make this more convenient for Toronto residents. you can go home and call to book in the comfort of your own home.”

start of ali@30 rant

“um, how exactly is any of this convenient. i need to get to New York, um, about right this very second. if i get out of this line and go home i risk the chance that i won’t get on a flight tomorrow. or i’ll have to wait until tomorrow evening. no, there’s nothing convenient about any of this. this is YOUR fault. being understaffed is NOT an excuse. you want to tell me that the plane has mechanical problems? sure. i’ll buy it. weather issues? okay, fine. sucks, but i’ll deal with it.

but being understaffed? that’s the shittiest excuse i’ve ever heard. and it’s something you should have known before each and every one of these people checked in, put their bags on the plane, went through customs and sat at the gate.

now i’m NOT leaving here until you book me on another flight”

end of ali@30 rant.

“okay. you are booked on the 8:50 flight tomorrow morning.”

“fuck you very much. pleasure doing business with you”

i got on the shuttle. found my car, paid $13 to park it for a few hours. and drove home. and now i get to do this all over again in the morning. and apparently, this is the reason my flight was cancelled. pray for me that i get on my flight. my sister and i have serious plans at Woodbury Common tomorrow.


  1. Omg, I’m dying at Fuck you very much…lmao!!!

    Can’t those assholes go on strike on a weekend your not planning a trip?


    Rubys last blog post..Ruby-ism


    Comment by Ruby on July 31, 2008
  2. I turn into a raging psychobitch at the airport. Good for you! Aaron is afraid of me when we travel. And I’d have it no other way.

    slynnros last blog post..Scenes From a Yuppie Apartment Complex: Unfortunate Resident Edition


    Comment by slynnro on July 31, 2008
  3. As I write this, you are hopefully sleeping. I will hopefully be sleeping when you get up tomorrow to try this all over again. But in my sleep, I’ll be all fingers crossed for you.

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..i know all there is to know about the crying game


    Comment by differentkindofgirl on August 1, 2008
  4. Ugh. How I hope that tomorrow is a totally different (read BETTER) experience for you. I too am NOT fun to travel with. Cuz I will. get. there. on. time. Even when its my fault that we’re a day early. ;)

    DoodleBunzs last blog post..PhotoStory Friday – Friends


    Comment by DoodleBunz on August 1, 2008
  5. “anything to declare Mrs. Martell?”

    “yes. never fly Air Canada.”

    I’m sorry for your plight but that made me laugh. I hope and hope and hope you get on a flight tomorrow…

    Also, I picked up the teen from football practice today and he said, “Mom, do you know in high school I’m going to have to name all of the provinces in Canada?”

    We thought there were 8, sadly, Wiki says 10.

    GOOOOOOOOD LUUUUUUUUUCK for the weekend!!

    marys last blog post..Swinging my tail


    Comment by mary on August 1, 2008
  6. Get between a girl and her outlet mall and the wrath of credit Kahn will bear down upon you!

    Good luck!


    Comment by swirl girl on August 1, 2008
  7. Aww, you poor thing! Though if I had a penny for all the times this has happened to me…I once sat on the tarmac at Newark for FIVE hours b/c the plane was understaffed and they had to fly in a new staff from DC, then we had to deboard and wait for said staff, only to get to DC and miss all of our connecting flights and have to wait 24+ hours. Yeah, it took like 26hrs from NYC to TN, which would have taken me like 12 to drive.

    Hope you make it there tomorrow, dahling! And let me know the SECOND you finish Belong to Me how it is! Can’t wait to read it!!!

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..We Didn’t Start the Fire


    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on August 1, 2008
  8. I’m sorry you missed your flight, truely. But damn… you named this balls, balls, balls. I’m laughing my ass off. Remind me not to mess with Ali@30. Have a good, non-cancelled flight tomorrow!

    Misss last blog post..Just shut up already!


    Comment by Miss on August 1, 2008
  9. Ok, that blows. I’m sorry you missed your flight – those people clearly suck.

    However, I admire your determination to make it to the outlet mall… and I’m jealous. Take me with you?

    Ok, well maybe some other time then?

    Have an awesome time!!

    Sarahs last blog post..A Gift for a Friend


    Comment by Sarah on August 1, 2008
  10. That totally sucks balls!! Hope your flight to day is hassle free :)

    Kimberlys last blog post..A Perfect Post – July 2008


    Comment by Kimberly on August 1, 2008
  11. Damnit. That sucks. Hope you get out today.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..Blocked


    Comment by SciFi Dad on August 1, 2008
  12. You go, girl!

    And good luck getting to NYC today!


    Comment by mamatulip on August 1, 2008
  13. totally sucks .. hope your flight took off this am!
    btw … my friend is flying Halifax to Mtl tomorrow .. so I forwarded your link .. you may have done her a service .. thankyou very much!


    Comment by Sarah on August 1, 2008
  14. are you kidding me? that is seriously ridiculous. i hope you got on your flight this morning and are happily shopping your misery away!

    rachaels last blog post..how do i love thee? let me count the ways…


    Comment by rachael on August 1, 2008
  15. Arrrghhh. Good for you, though! Way to kick some Air Canada ass.


    Comment by Assertagirl on August 1, 2008
  16. Oh gosh, how infuriating!! Hope you make it to NY today, hon.

    Katies last blog post..As Promised…


    Comment by Katie on August 1, 2008
  17. I grow up about 20 minutes away from Woodbury Commons (less if my mom was driving) and I used to love going there to spend some money! There’s nothing like an outlet to make you feel less guilty about buying stuff you wouldn’t normally buy. I’m so jealous!

    TUWABVBs last blog post..That’s a Big No-No


    Comment by TUWABVB on August 1, 2008
  18. Haha, your declare line reminded me of the end of the movie Snatch. Awesome… Although it is quite disheartening to know air travel doesn’t only majorly suck in the US. Maybe Mexico will be better…

    Hockeymans last blog post..Updates and Brain Farts


    Comment by Hockeyman on August 1, 2008
  19. At least The Amazing Race would have been more fun! Sending positive vibes your way that you make it to NYC!


    Comment by gorillabuns on August 1, 2008
  20. hahaha! way to go Ali.i’d probably cry tears of joy that i wouldn’t have to get on the damn plane.and could go home.plus i’d be pissed because all of my pre flight anxiety would have to be dealt with AGAIN.the next feckin’day.hope you have a good time in New York.


    Comment by LAVENDULA on August 1, 2008
  21. Though I have sworn off ever flying again, if it becomes impossible to avoid for some reason, I am going to have ali@30 in my speed dial and just hand the idiots my phone if they jack with me. ha!

    That was gold, Jerry, GOLD! heh


    Comment by AJ on August 1, 2008
  22. Good for you!
    I can’t believe they had the nerve to try and call sending you home “convenient”. Not bloody likely!

    Don Mills Divas last blog post..Culture Clash?


    Comment by Don Mills Diva on August 1, 2008
  23. That SUCKS! I usually let people walk all over me, but I think I would have lost it on them too.

    LoriDs last blog post..Some random items for a Monday


    Comment by LoriD on August 1, 2008
  24. That SUCKS!!! I hate airports…we have to travel in one week with three children…I’m praying for a ‘problem free’ trip!

    By the way, Woodbury Commons…LOVE IT!!! I went to school in Nyack…about 40 minutes from there…many weekends were spent shopping there! If you want to see a quaint little village with amazing food…Check out Nyack…it’s gorgeous! Right on the Hudson River! Have a great time!

    Amys last blog post..Children’s Play…


    Comment by Amy on August 1, 2008
  25. That so sucks! Stupid airlines. And they wonder why they are all going bankrupt. Jerks.

    I own that book and haven’t gotten around to reading it, so let us know if it’s good.

    oh Amazing Race how I miss theeeeeee

    Issas last blog post..Things to not say to pregnant women…..


    Comment by Issa on August 1, 2008
  26. That’s why it is SOOO much better to drive. Except that it takes five times as long and gas is almost five bucks a gallon. Scratch that. Maybe it’s best just to stay in your living room.

    Mikes last blog post..3 1/2 In Dog Years…


    Comment by Mike on August 1, 2008
  27. I love that you have balls of steel! Seriously I would have done the same thing.

    Lissas last blog post..Mind The Gap


    Comment by Lissa on August 1, 2008
  28. That is just the worst…good for you for telling them how much they suck! Boo-hiss…good luck tom.

    Nap Wardens last blog post..X-Failure


    Comment by Nap Warden on August 1, 2008
  29. SUCKS!!!! Like you have time to put your vacation off by even a day! Don’t they understand the importance of a Mommy getting the f**k away for a long weekend? Obviously Not. Glad you stood up and got another flight. Crossing my fingers that you’re up up and away tomorrow morning.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Hydrangea – Day 1


    Comment by monstergirlee on August 1, 2008


    Comment by Heather B. on August 1, 2008
  31. Oh no, Ali.

    That stuff only happens to ME!!!! Hope you get there soon.

    ohmommys last blog post..Lies my mother told me.


    Comment by ohmommy on August 1, 2008
  32. Those are SERIOUS plans. Those fuckers are lucky to be alive and I am soooo jealous.
    I just love that move when someone is trying to fuck me over by pretending to help me.

    I consistently have problems with air canada and avoid flying them whenever possible. They were understaffed in vancouver once. Oh sorry, not understaffed everyone but one guy went on break as those of us coming from Hong Kong were trying to check through to TO. I did some similar freaking out and we flew first class.


    Comment by lisa b on August 2, 2008
  33. That is horrible Ali. Almost the exact same thing happened to my huz and I in July 01 also on a long weekend, my dh thankfully still had a drivers license with a London ON address on it so they put us up in a hotel overnight after much complaining. We finally made it to NYC the next day, and it’s a good thing too because my huz would never have seen the WTC before 9/11 if we hadn’t gotten there! I hope you make it out in the end!

    Kathys last blog post..Stupid busy


    Comment by Kathy on August 2, 2008
  34. Fuck you very much.


    Marias last blog post..What Fresh Hell is This?


    Comment by Maria on August 2, 2008
  35. OK, with that heading this was NOT the post I expected.

    And with that kind of attitude, you’re going to end up on our terrorist watch list (now serving its 1,000,000th customer!) if you’re not careful. I don’t know if you remember, but here in America we have no truck with sass-mouths.

    Pants Wearers last blog post..Just let me laugh in peace, you fascists!


    Comment by Pants Wearer on August 2, 2008
  36. Go home? WTF?! That’s the stupidest thing I had ever heard!!

    And I’ve stopped and looked at the book a couple times (since I ALWAYS judge my books be recommendationds from others or their covers) and passed everytime. I think the next time I’ll pick it up.


    Comment by sam (temptingmama) on August 3, 2008
  37. That sucks big-time!

    Teena in Torontos last blog post..Book ~ "It’s Okay to Miss the Bed on the First Jump" (2007) John O’Hurley


    Comment by Teena in Toronto on August 3, 2008
  38. I’ve done that just once. It was awesome. We got bumped on a Dec 22nd flight to NY, where my family was waiting for us to trim the tree. I went BALISTIC on the travel agent’s ass, she called in reinforcements, and I finally convinced them that “no, flying from San Francisco to Portland, then to LA, and finally to NY wouldn’t be ok.” I may have asked them if they thought routing us through Hawaii would make more sense. Ha.
    In the end they flew us first class on a direct flight the next morning. But I swear they ducked when they told me that my luggage had already taken off for NY. Double ha.

    I sure hope you made it to NY ok!

    Jessica (from It’s my life…)s last blog post..On the mend. Kinda almost.


    Comment by Jessica (from It's my life...) on August 3, 2008
  39. And that is how it is supposed to be done!

    Woo-hoo for bitching out the airlines. Those assholes!


    Comment by krissy on August 3, 2008
  40. Having met Ali@30, I have a hard time believing that you wouldn’t have done that at 29 or 25.

    Kristabellas last blog post..How Is It Only Tuesday?


    Comment by Kristabella on August 6, 2008

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