*[ 16 May, 2008 ]

the expandable fork of doom returns…and why i might actually *like* my 30s

my stepmom is likely the world’s most friendly and outgoing person. she talks to everyone, everywhere. i remember when i was 12 and we were in myrtle beach. she walked right over to these two pre-teen hooligan types (i really just wanted to use the word hooligan, because, clearly, it’s not used enough), grabbed the cigarettes out of their mouths, and stamped them into the ground. she drives to the gas station to fill up her tank and comes home with an SUV filled with illegal mexicans to come and work on her lawn.

and, of course, she’s notorious for this…

(why, yes, that IS my stepmom and her expandable fork of doom, picking food off a random stranger’s plate!!)

i had always wished i could be like that. but i have always has issues talking to strangers. i have no idea why, actually. maybe it was fear of saying something stupid

and since you’ve all heard my “sweet the lick” story, you KNOW i say lots of stupid things

maybe i just didn’t like the small talk. but, ordering pizza, talking to customs agents, calling parents about playdates, talking to people for work…used to give me the sweats. heart palpitations. (that’s when we rely on my trusty old boyfriend…not this one, but this one)

but, recently, something in me has changed. (and it’s a myth when they tell you the only thing that changes when you turn 30 is the size of your hips. ahahah)

everywhere i go, i’m chatting up strangers. this woman in an elevator and i had a lengthy discussion about the state of affairs in the med-plaza parking lot! i swear. normally, i would just look up at the floor numbers going down. i talked to some random stranger in the hallway at work about sandals. just like that. no hives. no heart issues.

i went out last week and interviewed a celebrity. and it was normal. no sweats. nothing. AND I APPROACHED HIM. i downright asked him to let me interview him. Ali in her 20’s would never have done something like that.

my stepmom and i don’t share any blood…but it’s clear that her personality is rubbing off on me. so, if you see me walking around with a fork in hand…be afraid. be very afraid. because we know how much i like to talk to randoms now..and how much i like food..

(and sweet lord, if you don’t get this reference, get off your computer and download every. single. episode every made of 30 Rock. you won’t be sorry, i promise)

i think i’m going to like my 30s.

(i can’t believe i just said that)

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Good approach to the 30’s. Have a great long weekend! Now I actually must go & get some work done before I waste the day surfing…

[ 16 May 08 ]

It seems like you should hate your 30s and getting older and all that, but it is awesome. It’s like you stop caring what other people think. Or something.

Kristabella’s last blog post..Yes, I Am Cultured

[ 16 May 08 ]

Your stepmom seriously ate off of a random stranger’s plate???? WOW… that makes me feel much better for stealing fries from friends!!! LOL

I get the same panic-attack type feelings when I have to talk to people sometimes. I’m excited about it leaving at age 30! WOO HOO!!!!! 2 years to go!!!!

Jana’s last blog post..Zombies Everywhere!!!!

[ 16 May 08 ]

In my next life, I’m coming back as your stepmom. Loved the SUV full of Mexicans line.

fringes’s last blog post..Open Friday

[ 16 May 08 ]

I’m so impressed by you! I think there is definitely something to getting older and being more comfortable to speak up. My 20s I was practically mute. Now that I’m older, I’ll talk to anyone, any time, about anything. I scare myself sometimes.

Have a great weekend!

mary’s last blog post..Bonding over meatloaf

[ 16 May 08 ]

live it up!
go 30s…

[ 16 May 08 ]

The 30’s rock, yo. I have WAY more confidence than I did in my 20’s :)
Angella’s last blog post..Six Of One, Half Dozen Of The Other

[ 16 May 08 ]

I cannot believe they sell that shirt! That is too funny.
I am always chatty with people I dont know. And I love talking with customer service (esp when its a guy) bec I always win.
Does she really use that fork on strangers?

[ 16 May 08 ]

I would be freaked right out if an expandable fork came my way. But conversations with strangers are good ! Yay for 30 ! And it better be a lie that your hips expand….. I declare here and now that that will NOT be my case or yours dear Ali.

[ 16 May 08 ]

My Dad has that same fork!

[ 16 May 08 ]

I want an expandable fork of doom! Probably because I’m turning 30 in a few short months myself. Perhaps the expandable fork is a rite of passage.

Moose’s last blog post..Hot Child in the City

[ 16 May 08 ]

Now if we could have had this knowledge and confident in high school…we all would have been much happier!

Isabel’s last blog post..In which I’m pretty sure I’m not going to have to kill someone to get the sun to shine

[ 16 May 08 ]

This might end our relationship right here and now, but I have never seen an episode of 30 Rock. I’m so sorry.

Miss’s last blog post..Don’t know what you’re expecting of me

[ 16 May 08 ]

I’m feeling very anti-social lately. It’s a lonely personality trait. I need to get over it and go out and make some new friends.

Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..I Shouldn’t Have Made Fun of the End of School year Craziness. Karma Is Watching Me.

[ 16 May 08 ]

Your stepmom sounds a lot like mine. Once, as we got our nails done together, she turned to me and said (loud enough for MANY a customer to hear): I like these fake nails, but it’s going to be harder to pick my nose.

She Likes Purple’s last blog post..Just Six?

[ 16 May 08 ]

Seriously, the 30s are WAY better than the 20s!

[ 16 May 08 ]

Dude! Where did she get that fork? I want one. I would sooo fork food from a stranger. I embarrass my husband to no end because I talk to strangers all the time. He’s constantly fussing about it!

I’m 33 and I love it by the way! 30 sucked balls for the first month or so just because I was all mopey about not being in my 20’s no more but I got over it fast. You will too!

DeeDee’s last blog post..Fin

[ 16 May 08 ]

An expandable fork - wow, that is impressive!!

I had a really hard time turning 30, don’t know what it was. But 40 was a lot easier. Imagine that ;)
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Happy Anniversary Haiku

[ 16 May 08 ]

Fork of Doom. Totally sounds like something from Spaceballs :)

P.S. I added you to my blog roll because you make me laugh so hard I pee a little. Just thought I’d let ya know!

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Hot Damn! I have a blog!

[ 16 May 08 ]

Trust me, you will LOVE your 30s. You’ll go from being the OLDEST in her 20s to the YOUNGEST in her 30s. It’s awesome!

Haley-O’s last blog post..NEW SITE IS HERE!

[ 17 May 08 ]

Soon. Soon I will let you know what’s on my mind grapes.

Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..No shoes, no shirt, no pants. Mostly naked in the living room.

[ 17 May 08 ]

Me too. I now realize I was stupid when I was in my 20s. (found you at Random Ramblings)

Penny’s last blog post..10 Wierd Things About Me (only 10?)

[ 17 May 08 ]

I tend to yak with strangers. It’s part of my heritage (I’m a friendly east coaster).

Teena in Toronto’s last blog post..Rejuvenating the BBQ

[ 17 May 08 ]

My uncle does that too!!

Mari’s last blog post..Links Times Three?

[ 17 May 08 ]

Just FYI, I will get around to doing that meme. I have been tagged for it 17 times, and I just keeping thinking my blog is already enough of a tribute to my weirdness, ya know?

slynnro’s last blog post..In a van down by the river….

[ 18 May 08 ]

Gonna get me one o’ them thar forks!! Being a very quiet type most of my life, since becoming an Official Maine Geezer & Touristy Type Attraction on my porch each summer, I’ve actually become quite chatty, in a ‘quiet Geezer way’:)

Mike S’s last blog post..Last of Colonialism in North America

[ 18 May 08 ]

I have the same fork! Use it every weekend we have guests. Have considered taking it on dates with me. Maybe that’s why I am still single…

[ 19 May 08 ]

So you’re saying that in five to six years I might actually enjoy being outgoing and talking to random strangers? Somehow I find it hard to believe but if you say so then perhaps. Or perhaps my 30’s will come and I will still be a misanthrope.

Heather B.’s last blog post..Familia

[ 19 May 08 ]

I agree. The older you get, the bolder you get. I think it has to do with confidence, not sure though. Glad to hear your stepmom is rubbing off on you.

[ 19 May 08 ]

Wait really? Expandable fork of doom?

slynnro’s last blog post..Simultaneously Inspired and Uninspired.

[ 20 May 08 ]

I was the same way in my teens and 20s–totally tongue tied and hard time initiating conversations with people i didn’t know.

But no more!! I lost it throughout my 30s.

Now am 39, and people say “Amy, she can talk to ANYONE”

I just wonder what new and different changes my 40s will bring!

MazingAmy’s last blog post..let me go on like a blister in the sun…

[ 22 May 08 ]

[...] and i flashed a rabbi. i don’t know who was more traumatized. 10. i’m 30. THIRTY. and i love it. i did the marrying and babying thing in my twenties and i’m really looking forward to [...]

[ 01 Jul 08 ]

[...] ahead and judge. i’m okay with it. aliat30 is okay with it. aliat30 doesn’t even feel guilty about it. well, 90% of the time. [...]

[ 05 Nov 08 ]

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