April 24 08

it seemed most of you missed the hilarity of yesterday’s post and focused more on Lindsay Lohan’s skankiness instead of the fact that my 7-year-old daughter thinks that George Clooney is on the dollar bill…come on! that’s gold, people! no? no one? i guess it’s fair, she is pretty nasty (although now that i know that Metalia can save her, i can rest a little easier) but take it easy on me. i’ve been to hell and back this week. twice. once with Isabella (for FIVE friggin’ days straight) and once with Emily. getting struck with the plague during passover seems fitting, i guess. but seriously, i would have taken just about anything else. (barfs be gone…please). frogs? sure. hail? sure. darkness? hell, i would have even taken lice. (karma gods, take nothing i say seriously…)

my son Josh is the master of the one-liner. i swear. he coined the term ‘knee-pit’ and calls his balls ‘poisonous beans’….the things that come out of his mouth kill me. this week, he killed me twice…

Josh: “Daddy. i feel bad for Tyler. in my class. because we go to the bathroom in pairs. and his wiener? is WAY teenier than mine.”

HAHAHAHAH.

poor Tyler. i feel bad for him too.

(also, the story is way funnier if you know how Josh talks. he still can’t pronounce his “r”s…so Tyler is Tyl-ew and wiener is wien-ew and teenier is teeni-ew. coupled with the sing-song-y way he talks and add a splash of a Canadian accent…it’s just about the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.)

yes, i did say Canadian accent. i caught my son pronouncing pasta like PASS-ta. blasphemy. i considered using the soap…

but instead gave him a firm lecture about how to pronounce pasta and mazda and plaza.

the second time he killed me i wasn’t even there. i heard the story third person and it was STILL hilarious. i missed the first passover seder because Isabella was still throwing up. i can’t say i was all that upset that i missed it. well, until i got the pedialyte shower, i guess. anyway, my father in law has hands that shake. i mean really, really shake. he can’t walk with a mug of coffee from the counter to the table without spilling it. he’s had it forever, and it’s genetic. his mother had it too. (the husband seems to be shaky hand free, but we won’t discuss his problem hands until after he has his second hand surgery next week…)

Josh: “Saba, why do your hands shake so much?”

father-in-law: “Well, it’s not my fault, Josh. it’s something my Mummy gave to me”

*beat*

Josh: “why didn’t you just say no when she gave it to you?”

Josh, i LOVE you. you make me laugh every day. PLEASE, for the love of all things pokemon, don’t get the stomach flu! okay? thanks!

oh, and PS…who think this looks like my Emily??? Haley-O sent me this picture of Matt Damon’s daughter Isabella. the husband and i think she’s a clone! fine…i’ll admit it…i’m fucking Matt Damon. Take that Sarah Silverman!

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  1. I hope you’ve placed your order on all those shoes and purses you’ve earned this week!

    That kid looks so much like Emily, I’m wondering if Sarah Silverman is the only f-ing Matt Damon around here! heh

    I always look forward to Josh’s conversations. lol They remind me a lot of the conversations we have around here…but poisonous beans in our house? Weiner ball. Don’t ask…I have no idea. lol

    [Reply]

    Comment by AJ on April 24, 2008
  2. Oh… my… god… SO CUTE

    Maryann’s last blog post..Icon Gallery Up!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maryann on April 24, 2008
  3. This is so sweet. I love hearing what little one’s say! =)

    amy’s last blog post..Its great to be…..

    [Reply]

    Comment by amy on April 24, 2008
  4. Wow – they look exactly the same!!! I never saw that version of the song, still hilarious every time. Luv the one liners – keep them coming.

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    Comment by Maria on April 24, 2008
  5. Josh SLAYS me! Hee!

    Also.

    Um. How am I *supposed* to say “pasta”?

    Angella’s last blog post..The World Is Just Awesome

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    Comment by Angella on April 24, 2008
  6. Josh is da man! That kid is hilarious (although I don’t know if either of those top his “ooh scary” line).

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..TRS: A Date Night And Other Adventures

    [Reply]

    Comment by SciFi Dad on April 24, 2008
  7. Poor tyl-ew and his little wein-ew…hahah too funny!

    Loni’s last blog post..Surgery was a sucess

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    Comment by Loni on April 24, 2008
  8. Ohhh…so you say:
    paw-sta
    mawz-da

    …interesting…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Christine on April 24, 2008
  9. hahaha damn josh is hilarious!thats so funny

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on April 24, 2008
  10. here in New Zealand we say pasta as pass-ta :P

    *hides* please don’t use the soap on me!!

    hehehe

    Bronnie’s last blog post..There is blue sky in England!

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    Comment by Bronnie on April 24, 2008
  11. Your boy – he’s got somethin’ special :)

    jennyonthespot’s last blog post..Want to feel like a good mom?

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    Comment by jennyonthespot on April 24, 2008
  12. the firm lecture on how to say pasta and mazda and plaza has me laughing out loud!!! fan-freaking-tastic.

    pgoodness’s last blog post..Did someone say cars?

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    Comment by pgoodness on April 24, 2008
  13. “Canadian accent”, too funny. As if, eh?

    Ainse’s last blog post..Creative Minds for Charity Challenge

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    Comment by Ainse on April 24, 2008
  14. I hope Tyler’s mommy doesn’t read THIS BLOG!!! Eeee! ;) Poor Tyler….

    Haley-O’s last blog post..I Fear…. Plus 13 Celebrity Phobias!

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    Comment by Haley-O on April 24, 2008
  15. As someone who lives in Israel and is constantly plagued with lice I am telling you that Barf is by far the better plague! Be careful what you wish for!

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    Comment by Arica Saltzman on April 25, 2008
  16. My daughter was telling me about her leg-pits today and I thought of this post and the knee-pits. Great minds.

    JMC’s last blog post..TV turn-off week report card

    [Reply]

    Comment by JMC on April 25, 2008
  17. That picture is scary how much they look alike!!

    Josh sounds like a pretty hilarious kid!!

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    Comment by Jay on April 27, 2008
  18. Wait! Do I get extra points for not missing the humor in the previous post? Because I soooo got it! In fact, I not only got it but also crossed over to crassness by asking if I could screw the dollar bill. heh.

    Perhaps you should take away points from me just for being mentally sick.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..The Miley Cyrus Photo Isn’t Hard to Understand

    [Reply]

    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on April 29, 2008
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