*[ 20 March, 2008 ]

“i’m no stranger to heartbreak…”**

i should have known that when i opened up the floor for questioning, that someone would ask this.

Quid pro quo.

What’s your most embarrassing story that you’re willing to share?

it’s my own fault.  i asked him the VERY same question. embarrassment and i are like peas and carrots. best friends. Two stories in particular stick out in my mind, mostly because they are legendary ali-makes-an-ass-out-of-herself stories.

story #1: Ali and friends are sitting around watching The Karate Kid. (shut up, you know you love it too) Now, if you’ve ever watched a movie with me, you know that it is difficult for me NOT to mouth along every. single. word. i have a strange, strange brain that can’t remember that i was supposed to get milk after work, but can remember every single line to every single movie i have ever seen.

so…close to the end, i turn to the husband and say, all innocently, “Sweet the lick? is that some sort of weird karate move? that line never made any sense to me. why does he tell him to sweet the lick?”

Mike, in hysterics, turns to me and says, “it’s sweep. the. leg. he’s telling him to sweep his leg. to cheat.”

me = red face.

story #2: when we first became friends with Jack and Ilana, they graciously invited us over to their house. and i graciously stuck my ass through one of their wicker chairs. no, i’m not kidding. i barely knew them, i got up to reach something, and when i sat back down, i went ass first straight into the back of their chair.

they have since gotten new dining room chairs. and have still not gotten rid of me…so i didn’t make that horrible of an impression. they do enjoy telling the story to people, however.

which story is worse?

i didn’t know that someone was going to ask me what my favorite cheese was…

What is your favorite cheese?

i am a cheeselover. because i am a cheesehead.

i think, though, that my favorite has got to be an Irish cheddar. because it’s marbled with Guinness Beer. and cheese and beer together = awesome.

What is your:

Most irrational fear? 

this one is easy. it’s vomit. and i know it’s irrational. but it’s a fear nonetheless. a fear that makes me incapable of proper parenting when my children are sick. a fear that makes me think every cough during the night is a child vomiting. a fear that makes me nervous anytime anyone says their stomach hurts. a fear that makes me nervous to go on buses. or boats. it’s called Emetophobia.

Favorite book?

Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger.

Candy?

white chocolate reese’s peanut butter cups. yum.

but i like lots of candy. mmm…candy. i like sour candy. and twizzlers. and gummy candy. mmm…

i also would like to get my hands on an everlasting gobstopper. because “You can suck ‘em and suck ‘em and suck ‘em, and they’ll never get any smaller.” awe. some.

**please note. this title has nothing really nothing to do with the content you have just read, it’s just one of my favorite movie quotes ever. anyone know the response to this? anyone?

come back tomorrow for some more good times with ali. dy-no-mite! 

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Sweet the lick?

That is HYSTERICAL. I’m laughing so hard I can hardly type.

mamatulip’s last blog post..Ten things

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

What about the questions about your hubby?! Nosy minds want to know!

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

awe.some…. answers.

Cheese and beer, a combination from the heavens. Yum!

OHmommy’s last blog post..Coming to America: Part 1

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

vomit eh? you’ll be glad you weren’t at my house this week.

mmmm PB Cups!

I thought your blog title was from Jerry Maquire, but nope, from Grease?!

Holly’s last blog post..Vomit

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

sweet the lick. awesome. but i do believe it is worse to go through a new friend’s wicker chair.

kgirl’s last blog post..Live Blogging: 100th Post

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

mmm candy…

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

I think the blog title is from GREASE. Am I right?

This Mom’s last blog post..My Wedding Day

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

:) I’m glad I’m not the only one who misunderstands movies and songs…whew! I’m giggling, but I’m also sympathizing with you.

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

I’m going to say Tombstone although I don’t know why.I guess b/c I love that movie. “I’m here huckleberry!”

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

You just don’t see Franny and Zooey get tons of love, so I was totally delighted to see the title on your blog.

Kudo’s!!!

Loralee’s last blog post..When a whore loses her looks…

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

Mmmm…candy. I LOVE sour candy! I have never heard of white chocolate Reese’s though.

I may need to try me some of that ;)

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

I’ve had a lifelong passionate relationship with cheese. My parents are both European so I’m sure I was bottle fed it.
But I also believe dairy is the root of all evil so I gave it up forever… before trying Irish cheddar… DOH!!!!

jasmine’s last blog post..for the love of vanity

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

That cheese looks GROSS!!!! The chair story is hilarious.

LD’s last blog post..A Day With Doodle

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

yeah, one of the kids i nanny these days has that fear of vomit. i had no idea about it until his little brother threw up all over me and the kid started screaming in terror. so instead of dealing with one sick two-year-old, i had to deal with one sick two-year-old AND one freaking out five-year-old. all while covered in vomit. good times.

Lara’s last blog post..I’ve Already Driven You Away, So It Must Be Time for a Meme

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

Clearly you were being tested about that chair thing. You need to humiliate all potential friends.

Wendy’s last blog post..False Idols

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

Hey, Franny and Zooey! My chairs are falling apart so be careful where you sit at my place, too.
Thank God I’m not scared of vomit because I have three queasy, queasy children.

Rebecca’s last blog post..The Internet Is A Special, Special Place

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

That white chocolate peanut butter cup is KILLING ME.

Haley-O’s last blog post..THURSDAY 13: The Celebrity Eating Edition

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

That line was spoken by Sandy Olsen in Grease, to which Frenchy replied “Why, you got psoriasis?”

[ 20 Mar 08 ]

Emetophobia, huh? I thought I was the only one!

Dory’s last blog post..The One That Almost Was Not

[ 22 Mar 08 ]

I’m playing major catch-up here after yet another computer crash. But your answer on your most irrational fear describes me perfectly. I think my kids just don’t tell me when their tummy hurts now because they get tired of the “Are you feeling better now? You’re not going to puke are you? Maybe it’s just gas?” The poor kids would rather I moved out when they were puking the same way I do if it’s the husband doing the retching. lol

[ 23 Mar 08 ]

Thanks for answering. I would have to know how many people heard the “sweet the lick” comment vs. saw the ass through chair to say which one was worse.

SciFi Dad’s last blog post..TDS: The One With The Shelf

[ 23 Mar 08 ]

[...] since you’ve all heard my “sweet the lick” story, you KNOW i say lots of stupid [...]

[ 16 May 08 ]

[...] you all know how i feel about the Karate Kid, and you’ve all stood by my while i confessed my sweet the lick/sweep the leg fiasco (i’m a creampuff!) but it’s been ages since i’ve seen Karate Kid [...]

[ 28 May 08 ]

[...] trumps my sticking my ass through the dining room chair at Jack and Ilana’s AND the ‘sweet the lick’ story or maybe even the shitty blubbery speech i gave at my sister’s wedding or maybe even when i [...]

[ 25 Aug 08 ]

[...] and we all know how i. feel. about. barf. [...]

[ 01 Dec 08 ]

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