March 17 08

when my mother’s in town, i become an emotional eater. i hate to grab something straight from the Oprah playbook…but it’s the truth.

i suppose it comes down to two facts.

fact #1: my mom is a ‘food pusher’. like every other Jewish mother, there’s something in her genes that makes her want to FEED people. i suffer from this too.

fact #2: my mom has always and will always think that i have an eating disorder. even when i was in israel and had gained 29 pounds in four months (this is NOT an exaggeration. i gained more weight in israel than i did through any of my entire pregnancies) eating nothing but bread and pastries…her first words off the plane were “you look thin. aren’t they feeding you?”

so…it doesn’t help when my mom comes to town and goes shopping and buys donuts and pies and cookies and tarts and more cookies. AND then there’s the issue of this:

you see that Bratz cake? 1/2 of it sits in my kitchen. calling to me.

[read: ali gains 5 pounds in 3 days. no joke. 2 pounds more than i gained in a WEEK in st. lucia]

most people like fancy or decadent desserts. made with fruit. or chocolate. or cream. not i. i have taste like a 6-year-old. i like the grocery store sheet cake made with shortening-tasting icing.  i know, it’s sad, really. i went into a bakery in NYC with my sister and didn’t find ONE thing that i wanted to eat. i guess Italian bakeries don’t know how to bake for toddlers ;)

yes…that’s right. it’s been a busy week for us. Emily’s play was a success. and now damnit if i can’t get ‘somewhere over the rainbow’ out of my head.  Emily’s birthday party was a success. bratz plates. bratz cups. bratz napkins. bratz loot bags (and yes, i may be a last-minute kind of mom at getting ready for a party [read: ali buys loot bags on friday for a sunday party]…but i made 24 first graders really happy with their tomagatchi loot bags) if i never see anything bratz again it will be too soon.

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  1. cake + me = BAD! Good, but BAD! ;)

    Holly’s last blog post..Weekend Recap

    [Reply]

    Comment by Holly on March 17, 2008
  2. Ali i’m sure you are so slender that a couple of pounds worth of cake won’t make you look gross…and congrats to emily for a great performance….

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on March 17, 2008
  3. Friday shopping for a Sunday party is planning ahead if you ask me. My birthday was Saturday but instead I promised my 3yo he could have that dinosaur birthday cake he wanted me to make for his birthday…back in November.

    Yes, I am the WORST mother ever to live. He DID have his party but not the massive 3D volcano cake with dinosaurs out of fondant he requested…not YET, anyway. Apprently that’s how we are celebrating spring break and mommy’s birthday. lol

    [Reply]

    Comment by AJ on March 17, 2008
  4. 24 first graders? Shit! When I was a kid we were only allowed to invite as many guests as how old we were turning.

    hillary’s last blog post..I Gotta Know You Now And Then

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    Comment by hillary on March 17, 2008
  5. It could be worse. Mom could have announced that she was moving to Toronto!

    …and the weight, it must have been that awesome BP! (and for others, I didn’t mispell BJ)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Dr. J on March 17, 2008
  6. I’m more mature than you – I eat like a six year old. A six year old who wants candy ALL THE TIME. My mother, however, makes weird comments about my weight all the time AND NOT in the Beck-should-really-gain-some sort of way. Oh, hush.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rebecca on March 17, 2008
  7. You had TWENTY-FOUR KIDS at her party???

    I bow to you.

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    Comment by Angella on March 17, 2008
  8. I’m totally with you on the cake thing. I LOVE the grocery store cakes. We live by a grocery store so any excuse to get one I jump at. And for my work shower my friend knew this and brought one in (rather than order through our catering dept who gets the super expensive really rick cakes). Yumm.
    As for weight. My mom is the opposite. She’s very concerned if I gain a pound. Weird.
    As for the party … I’m just glad you survived it! And, you’re a cool mom for allowing a Bratz party.

    LD’s last blog post..Oh! The Indignity

    [Reply]

    Comment by LD on March 17, 2008
  9. Dr. J – u’re hilarious!! and i gotta say, it took me waaay longer than i care to admit to figure out what BP meant. but BJ? i got that in a millisecond ;)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tova on March 17, 2008
  10. I wish I only emotionally ate when my mother was in town!

    I have been eating myself out of house and home since I gave up Diet Coke. :S

    Loralee’s last blog post..“…So I said, ‘Look, mother! It’s my life, oo-kaay? So if I want to live on the beach and walk around naked…”

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loralee on March 17, 2008
  11. “She’s all, ‘I’m a pusher Caty, I’m a PUSHER!’ ‘Yeah, drug pusher.’”

    B2G’s last blog post..This time is the last time…

    [Reply]

    Comment by B2G on March 17, 2008
  12. I think all moms are like that. My mom swears that if I don’t put on some weight, I will get some deadly blood disorder!

    [Reply]

    Comment by maria on March 17, 2008
  13. I’m a grocery-store-bakery cake girl all the way!

    Haley-O’s last blog post..First Flicks Fat Lips!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on March 17, 2008
  14. I love love love grocery store cake icing. So much that we had a full slab (FULL SLAB) for our wedding cake. My Mom was not impressed, but as I sat on the king sized bed in the hotel room, eating cake instead of having sex, I didn’t care.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chantal on March 17, 2008
  15. Where did my CommentLuv thing go? Darnit!

    Chantal’s last blog post..When A Country Girl Goes To The Big Mall

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chantal on March 17, 2008
  16. Try singing anything from High School Musical,
    that’s how I get bad songs out of my head.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Keri on March 17, 2008
  17. Bratz over there = Cars over here.

    mamatulip’s last blog post..A hint of magic

    [Reply]

    Comment by mamatulip on March 17, 2008
  18. So I guess I like toddler desserts too:( Only have you noticed that kids don’t actually like that cake? Only I do, and I guess you lol.

    Sounds fun! Happy birthday to your sweet pea

    shay’s last blog post..Rain, rain go away….

    [Reply]

    Comment by shay on March 17, 2008
  19. OMG, you had her whole class at the party? Where did you do it?
    I think it’s not a Jewish Mom thing, it’s just a MOM thing–my Mom is the same way!

    Multi-Tasking Mommy’s last blog post..She’s a girl alright!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on March 18, 2008
  20. Ack! Party goody bags! Run!

    I’ve seen you in a bikini. If I were a meaner person, I’d tell you to shut up about eating the cake because, dang, you look good in one.

    But I’m not mean, so I’m going to just say you look hawt in a bikini.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..My New Years Resolution Has Backfired

    [Reply]

    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on March 18, 2008
  21. Supermarket cake is the BEST.

    KC’s last blog post..Version 35.0

    [Reply]

    Comment by KC on March 19, 2008
  22. hmm well if you want to get out of her pushing you, you either A) have a talk with her or B) lie: tell her yopur doctor said you really need to watch what you eat, and she will be supporting, or say your fasting, or giving up…

    I didn’t say they are fun options, but thats a way around it =)

    Ambrosiality’s last blog post..My 1st Time

    [Reply]

    Comment by Ambrosiality on March 19, 2008
  23. Lol. This fact is nice. Just to share another fact:
    About twenty-five percent of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light. :D

    [Reply]

    Comment by sayingspage on February 27, 2009
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