February 20 08

Last night, i came home with two bikinis and a tankini top. i’m still in shock this morning. you see, bathing suit shopping and i don’t mix. at all.

because

i LOVE to shop…i HATE to try on.

stores with good return policies and i go together like chocolate and peanut butter. (mmm…chocolate and peanut butter…) i pick the clothing i think might work, take it home, try it on in the comfort of my own home…where i can be barefoot, or try things on with different shoes, or with different things in my closet. and to be able to try on more than 6 items at once. (what the hell is up with that anyway?) and then i haul all the rejects back to the store.

(ps. i think some of it goes back to the communal change rooms at Loehmann’s and the Florence Eiseman warehouse sales my mother used to drag my sister and me too when we were young. nothing says love like getting down to your wonder woman underoos in front of 400 complete strangers)

it’s perfect. stop laughing. there’s pressure when you try things on at the store. and things always seem to look way better in their ‘special’ mirrors. and i end up sweating by the end of the whole process. Also…have you ever seen the change rooms at Urban Planet (yes, i shop there…shut it…it’s cheap and uber-trendy and it falls apart right as it’s going out of style. perfect!)?? every time i go in, i’m sure i’m coming out with syphilis.

but, i bit the bullet, and went in to the store and tried on about 87 suits. and officially bought:

they look WAY better on. At least that’s what Tova tells me. and the husband…who was unhappy that the bottoms look like grannypants…was pleasantly surprised. and i swear, they don’t look granny at all. they make my ass look smokin’ hot. (now if only they could flatter the rest of my paunchy body. the stomach pooch…beware the stomach pooch! i am, as Angella of Dutch Blitz so eloquently put it in her post yesterday…”fat skinny”…which, essentially, means that in clothes = hot! without clothes = not so much…)

i also bought me a cowgirl hat…which is a little too much Britney for me…but for the beach, it seems to work:

um, is it wrong that i may actually be a little bit in love with her dress in this picture too??!

hey…i guess it’s better to channel this look than this one:

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  1. I recently discovered Urban Planet too. On Friday I picked up a tshirt and sweater for $3.99 each (and if you have a visa card go to visaperks.ca and get a 15% off coupon on your total purchase when you use any visa card). Their hoodies are also really cheap and I love their socks. I have to try stuff on their because the sale stuff is final sale. I’m pretty small but I could barely turn around in the changeroom at the Pickering location. The change room at the Holt Renfrew outlet in North York (before they closed) was brutal. It was like a school locker room- there were no curtains and everyone changed infront of each other. I saw more back/bra fat on 60 year old ladies than I ever care to see again. And there was a crazy sales lady standing in the middle of the room watching and making sure we didn’t swipe the formerly $10,000 pants on sale for $150 (no lie).

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    Comment by Steph on February 20, 2008
  2. ENOUGH WITH THE MANKINI!

    And, a cowboy hat? Seriously?

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..TRS: Family Day Weekend

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    Comment by SciFi Dad on February 20, 2008
  3. LOL – Oh, Borat… Sasha, wahtever!

    YES, The cowboy hat is great! LOVE IT!

    Man, I so need a suit too and do not want to do the shopping for it. ick.

    Holly’s last blog post..Toss It Up Tuesday (3)

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    Comment by Holly on February 20, 2008
  4. That cowboy hat has been on your ‘want to get it but can’t bring myself to actually go out and buy it’ list for at least 5 years now. You go girl. Yee-haw!

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    Comment by Giblet on February 20, 2008
  5. thought you bought suits already? I like those ones too though .. great colors!

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    Comment by Sarah on February 20, 2008
  6. I love the suits, I’m lovin’ stripes right now and the colors in both are some of my faves!

    The last cruise my friend went on, I turned that borat pic into their vacation photo, quite convincingly, I might add! ;) I hope your friends are nicer than me. lol

    Oh yeah, HATE the skinny mirrors at the stores! I totally do the try on at home then return thing! And then I don’t have to completely REdress after every sixth item!

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    Comment by AJ on February 20, 2008
  7. Ali its for sure you are going to look hot on the beach in your bikini/tankini and cowgirl hat!

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on February 20, 2008
  8. The dress and hat Britney’s wearing in that picture are really cute – not so much on a busty gal like her (or me) but a slim woman like you would look great in it.
    I’m just fat-fat right now. It’s not happy.
    Hey, cute bathing suits! One of my goals for this summer is to fit into CUTE bathing suits again… hoping…

    Rebecca’s last blog post..Talkin’ About The Potty

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    Comment by Rebecca on February 20, 2008
  9. That last photo is way too disturbing!

    Your suits look cute, though :)

    Angella’s last blog post..Listing Left And Right

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    Comment by Angella on February 20, 2008
  10. What? You didn’t buy the Borat for your man? What kind of wife are you?

    Love the suits, I’m sure they look awesome. I’m dreading my own visit to the bathing suit shop next month in prep for our trip to the Carib in April… but I’ve got another month to crunch off some of my belly flab first.

    jasmine’s last blog post..a shopping frenzy

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    Comment by jasmine on February 20, 2008
  11. Love your new b’suits!

    The cowboy hat is always a good look. Being from Calgary we always seem to bring cowboy hats as hostess gifts when we travel. I don’t think it’s possible to look bad in one.

    Lesley’s last blog post..Looking for some honest answers…

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    Comment by Lesley on February 20, 2008
  12. THOSE are granny bottoms??? Get out. I haven’t worn anything cut that high in front in years. Wish I could.

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    Comment by Di on February 20, 2008
  13. hee! I thought you were going to say you bought the Borat bathing suit for your husband!
    And, I think everyone needs full-back bathing suit bottoms (those aren’t granny panties). Thong bathing suits are just wrong, especially if you’re on vacation with friends.
    I like the cowboy hat for vacation. It’s fun.

    LD’s last blog post..Ready for a Princess

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    Comment by LD on February 20, 2008
  14. i only wish i could say i was a ‘fat skinny’ heh heh. the suits look great and i am sure you will look fantastic in them. hey, remember you housed three children in that body. i think it is great that you can still pull off the bikini. one day that might happen in my world…one day!

    Melissa’s last blog post..Family Day – Round 1

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    Comment by Melissa on February 20, 2008
  15. What, no pictures of you IN the suits?!? I need to get a new suit for summer this year…MUST. LOSE. WEIGHT.

    and that last picture? WAY disturbing!

    Laura’s last blog post..Here we go ’round the Mulberry bush!

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    Comment by Laura on February 20, 2008
  16. Awesome! Nothing like retail therapy. Have a great trip!

    Mom On The Run’s last blog post..Twittering Away on 2008-02-19

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    Comment by Mom On The Run on February 20, 2008
  17. Um, those are granny pants? Clearly you never met my Eastern-European fat immigrant Bubbies.

    kgirl’s last blog post..Who’da Thunk It?

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    Comment by kgirl on February 20, 2008
  18. Dude, I love the suits.

    So now are you going to tell us where you bought them?

    Isabel’s last blog post..In which The King confuses “hot” and “hott”

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    Comment by Isabel on February 20, 2008
  19. I wish I could buy everything I wanted and then just return what I don’t want later! I HATE dressing rooms. Color me jealous.

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    Comment by B2G on February 20, 2008
  20. OMG, I’m fat skinny too. Now I have a word for what I am! Thanks and cute suits.

    noble pig’s last blog post..10 Things You Should Know Before Your Next Trip to the Gynecologist

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    Comment by noble pig on February 20, 2008
  21. Well crap. If those are grannypanties then I don’t even want to know what my bottoms are called.

    Cute finds! I too like stores with return policies. I hate how my hair turns into a static mess by the time I finish pulling things on and off.

    Megan’s last blog post..Yummy!

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    Comment by Megan on February 20, 2008
  22. My partner calls the whole process of buying clothes, trying them on at home and then returning them “Bulemic Shopping”. There is always something in my trunk to return!

    SleepyNita’s last blog post..Meme 8 things……

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    Comment by SleepyNita on February 20, 2008
  23. Hey, I love those suits, especially the second one. You’ll look super hot I’m sure. I start suit shopping in June, which is good because I have a ways to go to my goal weight. But.. I’m down 30 lbs since I started. xo

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    Comment by bella on February 20, 2008
  24. My eyes, my eyes!!!! Methinks his name should be Sacha “Baring” Cohen.

    Cute suits and hat you got though….

    Maureen’s last blog post..Set The WayBack Machine To 1978 Sherman

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    Comment by Maureen on February 20, 2008
  25. The new suits look good.

    Communal changing rooms!? That is so wrong!!

    I like Britney’s dress in that pic too!

    Bronnie’s last blog post..Paradise

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    Comment by Bronnie on February 20, 2008
  26. Isn’t it like three degrees outside? How can you think about bikinis!?

    Chris’s last blog post..Hoppity

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    Comment by Chris on February 20, 2008
  27. I’m so with you and the return policy. If you can’t return clothes to a store I won’t buy from it. When Fairweathers got rid of returns stopped shopping there all together.

    Jenn

    Jenn’s last blog post..Monthly Newsletter- Month Thirty

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    Comment by Jenn on February 21, 2008
  28. I was all good with this post until the last picture! Then I think my brekkie almost came back up!!
    LOVE the bikini’s!

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    Comment by Ginny on February 21, 2008
  29. There is that scary photo again!

    I love the stripes bikini. Too cute!

    Nadine’s last blog post..Hi sleep! Nice to see you again!

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    Comment by Nadine on February 21, 2008
  30. I never try on clothes, either! Josh always MAKES me do it.

    Haley-O’s last blog post..13 Things About Me: Guess the LIE…!

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    Comment by Haley-O on February 21, 2008
  31. I’m so with ya on buying and trying on at home. Not only can I not be bothered, but I do find that trying things on in my own space at home works well with my decision making AND I don’t have to worry about my toddler peeping or escaping underneath change room doors!

    Multi-Tasking Mommy’s last blog post..Insomnia

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    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on February 21, 2008
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