January 11 08

“mommy, you have boobies!”

“yes, Isabella. we pretty much cover this every morning. it doesn’t change. well, except when i’m pregnant”

“i don’t have boobies”

“no, still don’t”

“also..i don’t have a crocodile in my mouth.”

“no? well, that’s good to hear”

“but he says ‘hey dude!’ like that”

“interesting”

“but he’s not in my mouth. he’s in the water.”

“are you done yet?”

“i have a loose tooth. I NOT DONE! i done.”

ah, mornings at the Martell household. They used to be somewhat of a pleasure. i’d get ready for work while isabella cuddled with her sleeping daddy and watched DoraBoots. and the others slept

but now that we’re back in school and going to bed at a decent hour (well, the kids at least…i’m still an insomniac) and Isabella is in underwear, i’m pretty much late every single day of the week.

yes. it’s true. underwear. my baby.

i haven’t been too talkative about it because i didn’t want to jinx anything. she spent our entire trip in pull-ups and was pretty gosh darn awesome. so, on monday, we stripped off the pull-up for good and switched to underwear. we are now on day #4 with no accidents. knock wood. keep your fingers crossed.

the underpant of choice, of course, is miss dora:

which i’ll gladly take over sir pampers anyday:

we are a diaper-free zone!!

(just a little side note. while i was searching online for a picture of Dora underwear…i came across this…

i am both amazed and baffled by this limited edition Dora aquapet. does anyone else notice the blatent, erm, phallic-ness of this toy?? anyone? just me? i know haley-o‘s family will get it, they’ve got dirty minds too…it kinda looks like something i have tucked away in a drawer. something i keep away from my children…something that starts with an ‘r’ and ends with a ‘t’ and have an abbi in the middle…

i guess when you spend all your time with a monkey, a big red chicken and a big blue bull you need to get some lovin’ from somewhere…ahahaha)

this morning, however, there was a little added wrinkle to my already stressful mornings. i lost a pair of boots. yes, that’s right…LOST. how do boots just get up and walk away by themselves?

remember these? i gushed about them last week? well…they are gone. truthfully, i haven’t been able to find them all winter, but i just assumed they were in the basement or in the closet hiding somewhere. i just didn’t give it enough time to look. i just opted to wear something black instead.

but this morning i made the mistake of telling the husband. who then, like an absolute loon, went on a boot-finding-mission…instead of a holding-isabella-on-the-toilet-so-she-doesn’t-fall-in mission. needless to say, he didn’t find them. also, he’s not really talking to me because he doesn’t lose things. because he takes care of his things.

so, now, in addition to having to buy myself replacement black boots…i have to buy myself replacement brown boots.

looking for some smack? and some tv recapping (because there were actually some NEW shows this week…hello new 30 Rock! come to mama!)? come on over to Juice today! see if you can guess the maybe-could be preggo belly

i also wanted to thank you guys for being the more awesome readers ever yesterday! over 100 comments!  i heart each and every one of you and am sending tongue-kisses your way. mwah!

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  1. wah, wah, wah… no comments for me…

    And then, we give you over 100, and what do you say about it? NOTHING!?!?

    PS – Yay for Bella in underwear!

    ~~you jumped the gun, i wasn’t done with my post yet… ~ali

    [Reply]

    Comment by SciFi Dad on January 11, 2008
  2. That Dora aquapet has got to be one of the funniest toys I’ve ever seen..makes me think of a toy Her Bad Mother blogged about. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who lost boots- I rember packing mine, then we moved and then winter came but no boots in the basement. Boo.

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    Comment by Steph on January 11, 2008
  3. Yay! No diapers! Now if only we could convince mine that Dora doesn’t like to get wet. She wets her Dora undies on purpose just so I will put on a different pair of Dora undies. Grrr!

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    Comment by Mom On The Run on January 11, 2008
  4. totally saw what the aquapet looks like .. funny people over there at the Dora toy factory….

    Drag about the boots .. could you have left them in Atlanta? Do they even wear boots in Atlanta?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on January 11, 2008
  5. I would like to feel sorry for you and your lost boots but I’m too completely stunned by the Dora vibrator! Oh my!!!

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    Comment by Shannon on January 11, 2008
  6. I saw that Dora Aquapet at the store the other day. And, in real life I actually stopped and wondered why they were on display. Then I realized they were a toy!
    I lose shoes and boots all the time. I have no idea how it happens.
    Have you checked your car? I usually find stuff in the van.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laural on January 11, 2008
  7. You’re too funny! Here’s to diaper free days for the rest of your life!

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    Comment by Stacy on January 11, 2008
  8. Hilarious…still laughing at the Dora toy!!

    Check out “Feet First”, they have a huge sale on boots…pretty cute.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Michele on January 11, 2008
  9. We’re a diaper-free zone, too! Of course we don’t have any kids, but still…

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    Comment by Stacy on January 11, 2008
  10. umm wow phallic symbol or what?hahaha.nice boots.and thats so awesome no more diapers.

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on January 11, 2008
  11. Congrats on living in a diaper free zone now! That must be a relief!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Katie on January 11, 2008
  12. before I even read your notes, I saw the pic of phallic-dora and though O.M.G.!

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    Comment by Holly on January 11, 2008
  13. That Dora toy is seriously weird – sometimes I think these toymakers are “toying” with us.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Don Mills Diva on January 11, 2008
  14. Music to my ears.

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    Comment by ~JJ! on January 11, 2008
  15. LOL … I’m surprised that toy got out of the design stage. :-)

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    Comment by anne on January 11, 2008
  16. You didnt even have to say anything about that aquapet….or else its just my dirty mind but i was like holy crap thats a kids toy?!

    I know the pain of losing boots, my parents misplaced a couple pairs of my shoes when they moved. I mourned for a few weeks.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Ashley on January 11, 2008
  17. Yeah, my first thought was “hey, check out the Dora dildo.” Yuck.

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    Comment by Beth on January 11, 2008
  18. Yay for being a diaper-free zone! We’re slowly working our way in that general direction. Seems to be a lot of detours along the way right now.

    That toy nearly made me spray *snort* orange juice all over my monitor! I can’t believe that made it to the market without someone thinking “hmm … now that looks kinda familiar…”

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    Comment by Michele on January 11, 2008
  19. Ok First… WTF is an awuapet? Am I missing some kind of kid related phenomenon or something?

    Second, boots? BUMMER. Those are cute.

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    Comment by Miss on January 11, 2008
  20. Ok First… WTF is an aquapet? Am I missing some kind of kid related phenomenon or something?

    Second, boots? BUMMER. Those are cute.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Miss on January 11, 2008
  21. Since when do they have Dora themed sex toys?
    hmmm Do you think lead paint is a problem?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Clink on January 11, 2008
  22. Congrats on the diaper free zone…I have one kid down one more to go.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kara on January 11, 2008
  23. Yeah for Bella!!!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Multi-tasking Mommy on January 11, 2008
  24. I’m soooooo verrrrrrry jealous of your Diaper-Free-Zone-ness. That’s my next big To-Do. Nothin’ worse than potty training.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah at In the Trenches of Mommyhood on January 11, 2008
  25. You mean…that’s NOT a Dora dildo??? That thing is hilarious. The toy company HAD to know what they were doing when they created it — unless NONE of them have (even remotely) dirty minds?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on January 11, 2008
  26. That Dora thing is unbelievable. Do you think they do these things just to amuse the parents who buy them? I am beginning to wonder, considering the recent prolification of similar things.

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    Comment by slynnro on January 11, 2008
  27. What is the DEAL with that Dora thing. I did a double-take.

    Congrats on the mundo comments! You deserve it :)

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    Comment by Angella on January 11, 2008
  28. Okay, first? WTF is an aquapet? And second, I had to read the surrounding text three times to figure out that it was NOT in fact some sort of Dora vibrator. I’ll never hear that theme song again without feeling a little tingle….

    [Reply]

    Comment by DaniGirl on January 11, 2008
  29. Over 100 comments! Woot!

    That aquapet…very perverted. And I’m an expert on perversion, so believe. me.

    I’m so glad I’m not a celeb. I would have to hide for 10 days every month because now that I’m over 30, my PMS bloat starts a week before Aunt Flo and stays for her 3 day visit. They’d think I was pregnant every month.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on January 11, 2008
  30. Yay Isabella!
    Sorry about the boots, they are real purdy too.
    I have nothing to say about the aquapet. Yikes

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    Comment by Kristen on January 11, 2008
  31. wow. That is a dora vibrator if I’ve ever seen one. I wonder if she’s going to come out with her own sex swing next? haha. :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by manda on January 11, 2008
  32. Oh my freaking gosh!!!! That Dora “device” is kinky in a sick sort of way! Very strange. I swear these people do these things on purpose. But then, I somehow see phallic shapes in all sorts of things.

    I think if I were an artist, I’d do one of those “she hides something in every painting” kind of deal and it would always be something phallic shaped. :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by BlondeBlogger on January 12, 2008
  33. Well crap I missed delurking day and contest day and everything! I’ll blame it on the marathon shopping trips while my sister is in town because I know you understand that. haha

    I saw that Dora Aquapet in Target and there is nowhere for your mind to go but the gutter when that is staring at you from the shelf. Who on earth thought that was a good design??

    And can I just say that I’m glad my husband isn’t the only one who goes on shoe hunts for the sole purpose of griping about how I don’t take care of my stuff? Jeez.

    [Reply]

    Comment by AJ on January 12, 2008
  34. I thought I’d delurk this post instead since your last one got freaking 100 comments, holy hell. I am a tad envious, I am no where near that popular. Two things 1) whoever invented/designed the Dora aquapet has a sick mind. 2) I’m excited we’re soon to be sexie exie friends.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Miss Manolo on January 12, 2008
  35. that dora thing is gross. GROSS. :-P

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lara on January 12, 2008
  36. How do boots just get up and walk away? that’s crazy. They must have been abducted by ninjas.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Leaf, probably... on January 13, 2008
  37. [...] So, enter MEAN MOMMY and her TOILET TRAINING BOOT CAMP. i spent the entire weekend at HOME with Isabella, reminding her, coaxing her, bribing her…watching her like a hawk, getting her accustomed to this whole new world – the diaper-free zone. [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy on January 14, 2008
  38. That’s, uh, like a Dora Dong or something. Thank god Boots wasn’t involved.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chris Cactus on January 16, 2008
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