November 1 07

We at Casa de Martell have been arguing about the movie Blood Diamond. It’s not what you think…we both thought – with the exception of the last ten minutes – that the movie was pretty well done. We have been arguing about Mr. diCaprio’s South African accent. the husband says it’s crap. i say it’s pretty decent. he says, “he keeps losing it” i say “it’s a pleasure to see a movie that doesn’t use a generic UK accent for any movie taking place outside of the US (anyone see Rome? surely they didn’t speak with UK accents in those days…)” he says “he uses to many eh, bra’s” i say, “i thought they were a nice touch.”

anyway, it got me thinking about other questionable accents in movies. and for the record, in case you wondering, one of the best accents i’ve seen is Hugh Laurie’s accent on House. It fantastic (and yes, not a movie, i realize)

1. Sean Connery – The Hunt for Red October. Sean Connery does one accent. he’s Scottish in The Untouchables (Irish). He’s Scottish in The Highlander (Egyptian) and he’s - surprise, surprise – Scottish in Red October (Russian). but he’s Sean Connery, so we grant him a little latitude.

2. Tom Cruise – Far and Away. Top o’ the morning, he might want to stick to the couch jumping.

3. Dick Van Dyke – Mary Poppins

4. Don Cheadle – Ocean’s Eleven. Don does Dick Van Dyke doing Mary Poppins. worst. cockney. ever.

5. Al Pacino – Scarface. say hello to a really shitty accent.

6. Julia Roberts – Mary Reilly. she was supposed to be Irish, but came across more like a British woman who spent too much time on the bayou.

7. Jude Law – I Heart Huckabees. now i heart Jude Law and i’d let him talk dirty to me with his crappy american accent any day…but it was incredibly distracting to watch. more than his attempt at a Southern accent in All the King’s Men.

8. Ewan McGregor – Big Fish. See #7. he can talk dirty to me in his slow southern drawl, but hot damn it was bad. which is a shame because his Scottish accent makes me weak in the knees.

9. Nicholas Cage – Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. and Con Air. There are no words. just. none.

10. Angelina Jolie – Alexander. yikes. she looks hot. but i don’t even know what she was trying to speak? Russian accent?

11. Keanu Reeves – Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Keanu Reeves IS Ted. or is it Bill? I’m not sure. but either way, he’s a surfer dude. he belongs nowhere near Bram Stoker’s anything. “I know Kung Fu!” is pretty much where his range ends…

12. James Van Der Beek - Varsity Blues. i don’t want your life. or your southern acccent.

13. Kevin Costner – Thirteen Days and JFK. might be the worst Boston accent ever.

bonus bad accenting at its worst:

Drew Barrymore – Ever After. as if that movie wasn’t bad enough…

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  1. The WORST EVER was Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. SO BAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDD.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on November 1, 2007
  2. Ah, Jen stole my comment. The on-again off-again accent in Prince of Thieves was truly terrible!

    [Reply]

    Comment by DaniGirl on November 1, 2007
  3. Great list!!
    Gotta agree with the hubby! Leo’s accent drove me nuts in Blood Diamonds…he kept losing it!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Michele on November 1, 2007
  4. Awwwwwwww. One of my favorite lines from Marry Poppins is when Burt says, “May-re Buhp-ins”! And DVD is so good I’ll give him a pass.

    But I hate almost all southern accents in the movies. They are almost always way overdone, y’all.

    [Reply]

    Comment by rob on November 1, 2007
  5. Okay. Leo did do okay in Blood Diamond. BUT. In Gangs of New York he and Cameron Diaz only had an accent between them. When she had it, he didn’t and vice versa. very annoying.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Shannon on November 1, 2007
  6. Ack! Kevin Costner in ANYTHING!! His voice is always exactly the same, no emotion, completely monotoned. His voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Can’t.stand.it.

    And why is Angelina Jolie wrapped up in a baseball? Was that her World Series outfit?

    [Reply]

    Comment by AJ on November 1, 2007
  7. i so agree especially sean connery i love his voice…even if the accent is crappy.

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on November 1, 2007
  8. What? Not even a photo of the kids last night? Was your night THAT bad???? Did you survive?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Multi-tasking Mommy on November 1, 2007
  9. I totally agree about Hugh Laurie. He gets up at the Emmy’s to accept his award and is all British. It’s weird.

    And although not a movie, I nominate Kyra Sedgwick for WORST Southern accent every for her TV show.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Di on November 1, 2007
  10. LOVE, Love, Love Hugh Laurie… The first time I heard his real voice was the moment I realized what a wonderful actor he is. It must drive him crazy to do a “fake” UK accent over the American accent over his real UK accent (which he did in one episode…)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maureen on November 1, 2007
  11. I have a wonderful southern accent, because I am from the south. I get really pissed when people botch them. I think they’re pretty.
    I also agree with the commenter up there about Kyra Sedgewick’s accent in The Closer. It’s stinky.

    [Reply]

    Comment by manda on November 1, 2007
  12. I especially agree with the awful southern accent!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jennifer on November 1, 2007
  13. great list and once again i’m blown away with the info you remember! accents in movies?! how do you do it?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tova on November 1, 2007
  14. You are right on EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE.

    [Reply]

    Comment by jennie on November 1, 2007
  15. I have to add Jessica Biel in “The Illusionist.” I couldn’t tell if she was supposed to be German or English (because those two accents are so similar) and she sucked at both of them.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lu on November 1, 2007
  16. I ADORE Dick van Dyke, and I love his accent in Mary Poppins.

    You forgot Halle Berry in X-Men. In every scene she sounds like she’s from a different country.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on November 1, 2007
  17. DO NOT DISS MY ROME!!!!! ;) I can’t believe YOU! Great list! (I don’t have email right now, btw. Josh took the compute to the shop….

    [Reply]

    Comment by haley-o on November 1, 2007
  18. kevin costner. robin hood.

    [Reply]

    Comment by age on November 1, 2007
  19. Worst accents in a movie would have to be the Israeli accents in Munich.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mia on November 1, 2007
  20. OH.MY.GOD! This has to be the funniest post I’ve read in a long time!!! I totally agree with you on all actors on the list! I couldn’t put my finger on why some of the movies sucked but now I know their accents had a lot to do with it! Thanks for giving me a great laugh!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Janice on November 2, 2007
  21. Jen is right – Kevin Costner as Robin Hood is the worst accent performance in history. About a third of the way through the movie it seems like the just got tired of trying and gave up.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chris on November 2, 2007
  22. I LOVE Dick Van Dyke in Marry Poppins. Yeah his accent was over the top but it makes it fun for kids.
    And Drew Barrymore doesn’t do accents even though she tries. She sounds the same in every movie!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Patricia on November 2, 2007
  23. Barrymore – ug! that was horrible. her accents are just like every other six-year-old’s breathy, over-enunciated accent

    [Reply]

    Comment by loren on November 3, 2007
  24. Dude, I *love* the movie Ever After. Will you still be my friend?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Aimee Greeblemonkey on November 3, 2007
  25. Connery as the Russian sub commander was ridiculous but it was connery so it didn’t even matter.

    [Reply]

    Comment by lisa b on November 4, 2007
  26. Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting gets my vote.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah (In the Trenches of Mommyhood on November 5, 2007
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