October 24 07

had you been in my building yesterday at, i don’t know, say, 4:00, you would have heard this announcement. only i wasn’t. in the building, that is. i was at my kids’ school, picking up carpool.

(well, picking up half my carpool…since the other half was sent home with lice. for the second time. are you scratching yet? my kids are lice-free, thank the good lord. because lice are only funny on south park )

anywho, i guess to understand why getting paged is actually hilarious, let me take you to about 3:00 yesterday afternoon.

hey, did you know you could order from here

online??

i did not know this. so, as the weaker half of my department’s social committee – really, i’m not very good at it at all – my job was to get the pizza and the drinks.

so, i spent 20 minutes playing around on the website. amazing! you can order right there! and they’ll deliver it straight to your office! and it will remember your last order!

and then i hit the order button by accident.

so, i call customer service to get my order cancelled. since i want it tomorrow – not today. after being transfered THRICE -  once from a woman who said – yes, she really did – “let me transfer you to someone more capable”

it got cancelled and pushed off until tomorrow. yay.

but, that didn’t stop the pizza pizza delivery guy from showing up at my office, pizzas in hand, at 4pm yesterday. so, i spend another 45 minutes on the phone with customer service. again.

ordering online sure is FANTASTIC, isn’t it???

you know what else is fantastic??

when Marie Osmond collapses with the stars faints on stage.

oh, and you know what else?

when Halle Berry makes a fool out of herself.

apparently, this distorted photo is where she looks like her “Jewish cousin”. at least that’s what she told Jay Leno…and then apologized for it.

yeah, yeah, yeah. distorted? methinks it’s more like “pre nosejob”

new post up on Fabulous, where i talk about my latest obsession

i promise…there’s no talk of poo.

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  1. Marie Osmond bugs the hell out of me – so I found that insanely funny. Seriously “sometimes when I stop breathing I pass out.”
    Yes, same with most humans!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laural on October 24, 2007
  2. Sorry. I’m having a good laugh at the pizza thing. That is totally the type of thing that would happen to me.

    I once ordered pizza on the day our entire office moved for 30+ people, only to find it had been delivered to London. London Ontario. Yeah, needless to say, no amount of beer was making up for that mistake with the starving movers and employees!

    [Reply]

    Comment by b*babbler on October 24, 2007
  3. My favorite line was, “Sometimes I forget to breathe!” Maybe she should hire someone to follow her around and remind her.

    [Reply]

    Comment by AJ on October 24, 2007
  4. well i’ve never tried to order anything on line.and it sounds like its harder to un-order it.eww head lice suck.my daughter brings home notices every so often and then fanatical about not spreading the disease filth or wanting any one in my home to have them i WASH HER HAIR TWICE. I PUT NIX CONDITIONER IN HER HAIR .AND THEN POOR KID I BRUSH AND CHECK HER HAIR WITH COMB FOR 2 HOURS.until shes crying for me to stop.and then i make her older siblings and her daddy check her hair.oh my skin crawls just thinking about how itchy my head is..

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 24, 2007
  5. What is with Marie O. I mean I lead a busy life. That said, I haven’t found remembering to breath being a problem!?!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Cynthia on October 24, 2007
  6. that is the BEST line .. let me transfer you to someone more capable, holy crapo .. WHO WOULD SAY THAT lol.
    we get lice notices home from school about once every two weeks .. thank GOD Scott has never come home with it .. but man, where is this stuff coming from??
    oooooooo .. is that an IPHONE .. I SO want one. did you ever go to the Apple store on 5th avenue (NYC) .. SOOOOO cool!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on October 24, 2007
  7. I loved the Halle Berry thing. What a tool.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chris Cactus on October 24, 2007
  8. post = TOO FUNNY! That is HILARIOUS that they sent the pizza at 4pm — when, like, everyone starts clearing out for the day, too! Hahahahahhah! Glad you weren’t there when pizza came. That would have been annoying to deal with.

    Marie fainting was classic — especially since she’s okay, of course. I love watching how uncomfortable the judges are! hee!

    The Halle Berry thing = so annoying. I don’t even find her that gorj anymore. Not sure what happened there.

    [Reply]

    Comment by haley-o on October 24, 2007
  9. “let me transfer you to someone more capable”
    I am definitly going to start using this line around my kids – great post. See ya.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kellan on October 24, 2007
  10. i feel bad for halle berry. you say those things and in your head they sound funny, or you don’t even think about it, and then BAM it’s out of your mouth and you realize it’s not funny, just offensive and then everyone forgets about how excited they were that you’re FINALLY pregnant and you’re just labeled racist.

    [Reply]

    Comment by epic on October 24, 2007
  11. I simply don’t know what to comment on – there’s so much. I ordered online for the first time this weekend (Pizza Hut, though). And was so paranoid something would go wrong. It was fined though (besides me placing my order TWICE – good thing the computer warned me before I actually sent it in).

    And the Halle Berry thing is sort of disturbing. Is it just me or is she turning into a stereotypical Hollywood trainwreck?

    [Reply]

    Comment by andi on October 24, 2007
  12. This post cracked me up. I love the “Loser” picture. *snort*

    [Reply]

    Comment by mamatulip on October 24, 2007
  13. The hilarious thing is- at the first mention of lice- and my head starts itching.

    Ick!

    -HH

    [Reply]

    Comment by Heidi on October 24, 2007
  14. Ordering online has its downfalls. I once ordered flowers to be delivered in a different town and missed that I had put the right address, but my own town name. Apparently the delivery person drove around for 2 hours looking for the address before finally calling. My town is NOT that big. Great story!

    [Reply]

    Comment by mamakie on October 24, 2007
  15. That picture of Halle Berry is spooky – it looks like those photos people take of dead celebrities in their caskets. I can smell the formaldahyde.

    [Reply]

    Comment by anne nahm on October 24, 2007
  16. I work in an community (sort of like an inner city school), and we have a HUGE lice problem. Having been with Grade 2 and under for the past 4 years, we never seems to get rid of it. The great thing is that I have become an expert “checker”.I have been there 6 yrs. and have (thankfully) never got it. I have dry skin, so my head always itches, and one of my co-workers always checks me. It gives me the itches just thinking about it. ew ew ew.

    I have ordered clothes and flowers online. No problems yet.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Keri on October 24, 2007
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