October 4 07

While Ali is out and about with her family I volunteered to “guest” host her blog for today. Ok, I admit to begging! She’s just so fab that I wanted to hang with the “in” crowd. Story of my life through middle and high school.

I wanted to share some things with you about my neighbor, because we can all relate to crazy people.

I’ve written about my neighbors before on my blog, but I thought I’d give you some insight into my neighborhood. Since Ali is from Canada and for all I know her neighbors might be very normal, so I want to spread the craziness around.

We’ve lived here for about 6 1/2 years and in that time we’ve experienced a lot of weirdness on the block, but the majority of it has come from the old lady next door. The houses on our street are built fairly close to one another so privacy is hard to come by. When we first moved in there was a short chain-link fence dividing our backyard from her driveway.

Yes, had she been a hot twenty-something my husband would have enjoyed the view of her laying out in her bikini from our patio….but she’s a wrinkly 80 year old! (Shortly after losing our vision we put up a tall wooden fence.)

It seemed like every time we had guests over to grill-out she would pull out the leaf blower and clean their driveway. Every single time. It was frustrating because we couldn’t hold a conversation over the noise. Even during our son’s 1 year old birthday party she found it necessary to blow every leaf and stick off her drive. Common courtesy would have waited. Right?

Then there was the time my husband’s family was visiting and we were all outside enjoying a fall afternoon when suddenly the old lady started beating a broom against the bottom of an oak tree in her backyard. She was attacking the tree! We could hear her muttering something about a squirrel. The next morning we awoke to find she’d covered the tree trunk (about 10 feet) with aluminum. It provides a nice shiny reflection on sunny days.

We’ve almost gotten accustomed to the Christmas decorating that takes place right after Thanksgiving. She places this very old Santa and sleigh wood cut out in the front yard and has a large red spotlight directed at it. The problem is that our bedroom is at the front of the house and our window faces her house and absorbs most of the red light.

I can remember the first time the light came on and we were laying in bed. My husband and I both jumped up thinking something had to be on fire from the glow on our walls. Turns out we just live in the red light district. It wouldn’t be too bad if she didn’t have the light timer set to stay on until 6 a.m.


For the most part she provides a large amount of entertainment. She mows the dirt grass sometimes 2-3 times a week. Since she’s basically just blowing up dust she’ll wear a mask, bandanna, sunglasses and gloves. Our son asked me if was a bank robber!

See that was painless. Just be glad I didn’t write about diaphragm’s! Come visit me (FENICLE) sometime!

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  1. I am guest hosting Mon…I have no idea what to blog about!!! Your neighbor is one kooky lady. We had one of those when I was a kid.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Cynthia on October 3, 2007
  2. Crazy neighbours are more fun than mine, who are just obnoxious.
    Christmas decorating after Thanksgiving? Oh, I hope it’s American Thanksgiving and you’re not looking at Santa on lawns all October.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rebecca on October 4, 2007
  3. kudos on the guest-ing.
    speaking of whacky neighbours – we have one guy across the road who is constantly outside smoking in his boxers. Which the wife probably wouldn’t mind if he was build like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. But alas, he’s bald and built like Andy Dick.
    Anyhow, point being, every time he hears someone leaving their house he tries to hide behind the wall of their front enclosure – as though (a) any of us give a sh!t that he’s a chain smoker or (b) we don’t see him standing there 20 times a day.
    How fitting for a man of ‘doors’:

    People are strange when youre a stranger
    Faces look ugly when youre alone
    Women seem wicked when youre unwanted
    Streets are uneven when youre down

    [Reply]

    Comment by Giblet on October 4, 2007
  4. Wow .. that is a crazy lady .. I guess your only hope is that she will kick off soon! until then, best of luck :).
    BTW .. I can’t believe you did that?! I have a 6 yr old son, but my step-daughter is 14 .. yikes! Thanks for the heads up :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on October 4, 2007
  5. hey Fenicle that was a hilarious post.maybe your neighbour is just a)nosy or b)lonely.so thats why shes always outdoors when you are.so isn’t the red light kinda sexy?hahaha.and just be thankful shes not nude sunbathing in front of her reflecting (aluminum) tree.hahaha!

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 4, 2007
  6. Oh, neighbors are fun, no? Luckily, the ones that gave me the biggest headaches just moved away… YAY!

    Here’s hoping your neighbor does the same.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maureen on October 4, 2007
  7. If you promise to post more pictures like that, I will become a faithful reader.

    Ok thats a lie. I went to your site and you made me laugh with the first couple posts I read. I’m hooked.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Miss on October 4, 2007
  8. Wrinkly, 80 year old? Oops.

    Mike
    http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

    http://www.mikeleonen.com/

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mike on October 4, 2007
  9. Thank GOD she doesn’t have a boyfriend huh? And her bedroom isn’t butted right up against yours.

    Ew.

    [Reply]

    Comment by jasmine on October 4, 2007
  10. And you wonder why I’m addicted to blogging? You guys are better then Seinfeld…and I loved that program. And the photo..it’s priceless. Today is a day, I needed to laugh (out loud) I did..
    Thanks so much…I’ll be back..

    Dorothy from grammology
    call your grandma..

    [Reply]

    Comment by Dorothy Stahlnecker on October 4, 2007
  11. I WAS CURIOUS WHAT AN EIGHTY SOMETHING HAD TO DO WITH A DIAPGRAGM. WELL I WENT TO YOUR BLOG AND COULDN’T STOP READING. WHAT A HOOT YOU ARE! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS. LOVED IT!!!!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by MARJORIE on October 4, 2007
  12. Sorry Ali I didn’t produce quite as many comments as you are used to! Hope you are enjoying your family :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by FENICLE on October 4, 2007
  13. NICE! I would have gone over, taken that broom out of her hands and started beating HER with it. We have a neighbor that mows his lawn on Saturday nights around sundown and THAT is annoying when you have guests over, but a leaf-blower is way worse!

    [Reply]

    Comment by loren on October 5, 2007
  14. i have some CRAZY neighbors. perhaps a post for the future…

    [Reply]

    Comment by ali on October 6, 2007
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