June 23 07

friday, 7pm. the very last thing i expected to hear out of my nanny’s mouth.

“um, yeah, it’s okay if today is my last day?”

um, yeah, if by that you mean that today is your last day…until monday. except that she didn’t. she quit. no two week notice. nothing. according to her, she wasn’t unhappy. she didn’t have another job in the works. and she didn’t care that we were not longer going to sign papers for her.

and poof. just like that. she’s gone.

we call the agency to see if there was something we didn’t know about. because it came out of nowhere. she’s been such a hard worker and she’s never told us she was unhappy at all. she, we thought, loved the kids. and the kids most certainly loved her. the agency knows nothing. the last they heard, Michelle was happy.

i was upset. upset for Isabella. she didn’t even say goodbye (to any of the kids, actually). on monday morning Isabella’s going to come downstairs and say, “shel! where are you? a’morning!” and she’s not going to be there. she’s going to have to learn to love yet another nanny. upset for Josh, who couldn’t fall asleep on friday night and actually said to us, “Michelle left because of me” is your heart not completely breaking right now?

i was pissed. pissed that she totally blindsided us and didn’t even feel badly that she was leaving us in the lurch. on monday morning, the husband and i are supposed to go to work…and what the hell are we going to do with our three children?? pissed that i opened up my home, my family, my children to someone and she totally took advantage of our openness and our trust.

i was annoyed. annoyed that she may have been swayed by another employer in the park. i’ve heard about this….nanny swiping. women who have fewer kids and more money. I’ve heard about it, sure, but i never thought my nanny could have done it. until we saw her walk down the block rolling her suitcase behind her. until we spoke to Emily who told us a new ‘friend’ was talking to Michelle in the park this week.

i was panicked. panicked because i had little time to find someone new. someone we like. someone we hope won’t flee after 2 1/2 months. panicked that i was going to have to hire someone new. train someone new. take off more work to deal with this. days that i don’t have. days for which i won’t get paid. days for which i could get fired.

we quickly got on the phone with 12 different nanny agencies…but since it was almost 8 pm, it was hard to find someone still open. luckily, one of the agencies had an emergency number, which, naturally, we dialed immediately. she sent us two possible nannies this morning. and we hired the second one on the spot. we got a really great feeling about her. she went straight to the kids, and they seemed to love her. she asked a lot of questions and she gave me all the right answers. her english was GREAT and she was just …sweet.

i know years from now we’ll look back and we’ll remember Michelle, the nanny who was with us for a couple of months. and it’s sad, really, because we thought she was here to stay. we thought everything was right. I feel like Elle Woods when WArner dumps her. a total fool.

our new nanny starts Monday. keep your fingers crossed. please. i don’t think my children can take another break-up.

**EDIT**

we’ve officially been nanny-snatched!

we found out from one of the other nannies in the neighborhood that Michelle took a job for another family. she was wooed in the park by someone who had only one child, and was possibly offering her more money.

so, that ‘friend’ that was talking to Michelle in the park…was no friend…she was an evil, evil bee-otch. i wonder how the two of them sleep at night. does Michelle feel remorse that she just up and left us for greener pastures? did she not care that we opened our hearts and our home to us?

and the snatcher…i wonder how she would feel if that happened to her? i wonder if she thinks of me. of our family. of poor Isabella, who lost her nanny and her friend.

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  1. Awwww…poor kiddos! I hope the next one works out and stays a really long time. Sheesh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Karen on June 23, 2007
  2. Wow i cant believe she would just walk out like that with no notice or anything. It’s so hard to find someone good to watch your chldren, someone that you can trust and that your children will like.
    I hope this new nanny works out for you and your children!

    [Reply]

    Comment by kelley rees on June 24, 2007
  3. i’m shocked… makes me wonder how michelle can sleep at night. glad you found someone so quickly.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jodi on June 24, 2007
  4. oh no! i’m sending great thoughts for this new nanny to work out. if i lived closer, i would love to be your nanny! :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by lara on June 24, 2007
  5. Awww, your poor kids. How awful for her not to acknowledge that when you enter a child’s life it’s more thana job and you should respect them as people enough to say goodbye. I hope the new nanny works out well for you guys. I’m sure it will.

    [Reply]

    Comment by AndreAnna on June 24, 2007
  6. Jeez, that sucks. I hope all works out for the best.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kelly on June 24, 2007
  7. Un-freaking-believable! That’s terrible. You’d think that someone in the childcare profession would realize how devastating this could potentially be to any child. Hope your replacement is awesome and outshines your former nanny!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lesley on June 24, 2007
  8. oh that just sucks. no other way to spin it. i’m sorry for you but glad you’re getting it worked out. i really, really hate betrayal. it’s difficult to bounce back from. but i’m learning.

    [Reply]

    Comment by rob on June 24, 2007
  9. Ali, that’s really shitty. I’m sorry. I hope everything works out with your new nanny…keep us posted. ((hugs))

    [Reply]

    Comment by mamatulip on June 24, 2007
  10. Oh that sucks! I hope the new one works out better.

    [Reply]

    Comment by anne nahm on June 24, 2007
  11. What a nightmare. Hope the new nanny works out!

    [Reply]

    Comment by metro mama on June 24, 2007
  12. That really sucks!
    I’m so sorry to hear that.
    I hope this new one works out.
    As I was reading this, I was all ready to offer to watch the kiddies until you found a new one, but you lucked out at 8pm on a Friday night! That is good.

    [Reply]

    Comment by multi-tasking mommy on June 24, 2007
  13. That’s awful. I hope your new nanny is wonderful.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rebecca on June 24, 2007
  14. Holy crap. I’m sure it worked out for the best. This new nanny speaks English, at least. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that panic, and THE KIDS…. Michelle will probably HATE her new family.

    [Reply]

    Comment by haley-o on June 24, 2007
  15. I have been with a family with 3 boys, 2 with Autism , for 8 years. I am feeling a little drained now and I am not with them as much as I used to be. I would take the job in a second. I hope this one works out for you!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Keri on June 24, 2007
  16. I’m so sorry. That’s a horrible way to start your weekend. Well I really hope everything works out for your family and the new nanny.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mandi on June 24, 2007
  17. What a BItch!! The bitch that stole her is a bitch too. redundant, I know… but still!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristi on June 24, 2007
  18. GEEZ!!!! I can’t believe that. I don’t know much about the nanny world. So what did “sign her papers anymore” mean?? And did she live with you?

    I saw an episode on “Desperate Housewives” in which they tried to get nanny’s at the playground!

    Here is hoping all works out ok!!!!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Fenicle on June 25, 2007
  19. Wow. I’m glad you found a new one! How does the nanny thing work. We’ve been considering it but are concerned that it will be too expensive…I’ll definitely have to look into it more closely.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Suzanne on June 25, 2007
  20. That really sucks that she just up and left you guys hanging like that. Not to mention the kids. I’m sure it’ll be an adjustment for them, especially little Bella, but thank God you got a new one, quick! I hope she works out for you.

    [Reply]

    Comment by bella ~ Liz on June 25, 2007
  21. Unbelievable. What nerve.

    That shouldn’t be allowed. She should never be ablet o find another Nanny job ever…You depend on her and she frickin up an leaves. I’m pissed for you.

    I hope this new nanny works out…Keep us posted!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom on June 25, 2007
  22. Nice subtle Usual Suspects ‘shout out’ there…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Giblet on June 25, 2007
  23. Wow Ali, I’m stunned! I hope your new one works out well. Aren’t your kids out of school now too? so more than ever, you need a nanny?! How could Michelle do that to you?

    [Reply]

    Comment by sarah on June 25, 2007
  24. I HATE HATE HATE childcare issues. If my caregiver up and quit with no notice, we would be screwed and the kids would be devastated. I’m amazed that you found someone so quickly without having to fly in a grandparent. Well done!

    [Reply]

    Comment by LoriD on June 25, 2007
  25. wow how aful for your children.shame on her for not giving notice and shame on her for not explaining her decision to your children.

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on June 25, 2007
  26. {GASP} WTF?! I hate unanswered questions…like why did she leave? That’s so nervy of her and to not give any warning or say goodbye to the kids?? I’m so sorry. Glad to hear you were able to find one so quickly though, and hopefully she settles in nicely – I’ll keep posted for a nanny update!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sara on June 25, 2007
  27. That totally sucks, but I guess think of it this way, do you really want someone who obviously has no work ethic and doesn’t really care about you to look after your kids. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Sounds like she really wasn’t the right one for the job. Better to find out now then later on when something terrible happened.

    Sending you good wishes with the new one and hope all works out.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Melina on June 25, 2007
  28. Gosh Ali, that sucks. Totally actually, in that it seems like there were so many good qualities about her that you all really liked…I can see how you feel totally blindsided when she pulled this crap.

    [Reply]

    Comment by jasmine on June 25, 2007
  29. Gad,that is terrible. I hope this new one checks out and works for the duration. Whatever happened to the nannies you read about in books, that become one of the family and love the kids until they are grownup? Sigh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by kittenpie on June 25, 2007
  30. Oh, that is awful! Keeping my fingers crossed that this new one is here to stay!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Audrey on June 25, 2007
  31. Shit, Ali. That sucks.

    I hope today was okay?

    [Reply]

    Comment by chantal on June 25, 2007
  32. I just read this now. Wow. That’s horrible. It’s like the worst nanny fear ever. Glad you found someone new. And I hope it works out really well.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laural on June 26, 2007
  33. wow, I never thought of the nanny thing as almost like a relationship, like what, what did I do wrong.

    I hope the new one worked out well yesterday. I have heard of Nanny swiping, in fiction!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sparky Duck on June 26, 2007
  34. Wow. That’s shitty. Does she get a black mark at the agency or anything to warn future parents?

    I hope the new one works out for you!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Her Grace on June 26, 2007
  35. I love that you can relate nanny loss to Legally Blonde. I hope the new nanny turns out to be a great fit and stays for as long as you want her to! :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Aimee on June 26, 2007
  36. [...] way back last week, before my nanny quit and life got flipped turned upside-down, i told you some things that may or may not be true. and i still owe you some answers. [...]

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  37. That truly sucks. I hope the new nanny is fabulous though.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nancy on June 27, 2007
  38. Just catching up after being away on holidays and had to send you a note and a hug. Holy crap, do I know what that feels like. Hoping the kids are doing well with the new nanny, and sorry you had to go through this. There ought to be a law, I tell ya, a law to prevent working parents from beig stranded with no child care and no notice… sigh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by DaniGirl on July 3, 2007
  39. I quit my nanny job.
    Not suddenly though. I gave notice.
    Plus, they didn’t call me all of June and haven’t for July.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Keri on July 6, 2007
  40. (missed this originally – linked back from your guestpost at Izzy’s)

    That SUCKS! We were in fear of a nanny-snatching for a little while, but our nanny preempted the snatcher and sent (an equally lovely) friend her way. Do I even have to tell you how much we love her?

    [Reply]

    Comment by kgirlto on July 28, 2007
  41. Great for you that you jumped on the situation Friday night and got this handled. I would have opened a bottle of wine and twisted in the wind. There is a total conspiracy against working women!!

    [Reply]

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  45. The family that I am with is driving me crazy. I dread going in every day. and am wondering what to do. I said I would stay on until mid June but it’s terrible. Total lack of respect on their part. 3aking days off telling me not to come and not paying me for that, paying me a day late and with peronal instead of buis check so it doesn’t clear for several days are all just part of it. What do I do? If it weren’t for the kids I would have0left a long time ago. I’m stuck, HELP!

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  58. [...] was a three-month stint when we had MICHELLE. She was the one who got snatched up in the park by a family with fewer kids and more [...]

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  59. …..But if you were given a better opportunity for yourself, wouldn’t you take it? I don’t mean to be judgemental…but sometimes you have got to look out for yourself right? Its not like she abused your kids or stole from you. She did a good job while she was there, and when something better came along she took it. Isn’t that what we all do?

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