June 8 07

the Britney vs the Bible sags continues…

Josh: hey mommy, this is where the dead people are

me: you’re right, Joshie. it’s a cemetery.

Josh: that’s where Moses lives now. but not Britney. she didn’t die.

Emily: Josh, you’re such a doof. there are many more people who are way more important to us that died. like great grandpa. he’s way more important than Moses. but great grandpa lives in a box now. and Moses doesn’t live in Toronto.

Josh: that’s right. he lives in the Torah.

this is thousands of dollars in Jewish education…

Emily is a huge wolf-crier. and a drama queen. seriously, y’all, the combination is lethal. she’s that kid. the one who is always in need of a band-aid. or the one who can’t possibly sleep because her stomach hurts her soooooo baaaaaad. she always has a complaint of some sort…that always turns out to be nothing. so, when she started complaining about her eyes, i hesitated to believe her.

but, i figured the two older kids were in need of a check-up anyway…and i needed to pick up my brand-spanking new pair of Vera Wang’s.

IMG_4723.jpg

okay…what in the holy hell is wrong with my nose in this shot??? my nose is bad, but it’s not this bad. i’m got the Walter Matthau bulbous-nose thing happening. (and i mean the man no disrespect…but that particular facial feature is not one most would envy)

motherfucker. i guess it’s not my fault. the husband refuses to take pictures of me, so i need to take them myself. and self-portraits never come out well. they end up having funny angles and arms coming out of nowhere. so, naturally, i blame him for my nose. bwah.

but…where was i…hmm…oh, yes, Emily.

the good news is that both Josh and Emily have perfect vision. they read those eye charts like champs…and belly laughed through the dancing baby the dr had up on the screen. my kids are too young to realize that this phenomenon became unfunny in the early nineties.

the bad new is that she was telling the truth. she’s got some sort of allergy and has to take these perscription drops 2-3 times a day. great. she’s my kid who won’t take medicine (classic. there’s always something wrong with her, but she refuses the medication). but last night, i pinned her down and did the deed.

and now i’m not only the eye-drop administrator, i’m now forced to believe her when she comes crying wolf. crap.

i’m officially adding a fifth to my list. Along with Josh Duhamel, Jared Leto, Jude Law and Ryan Gosling….i’m now adding Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

seriously, dude is sex.

i watched Match Point last night. i swear, i thought it was a tennis movie with Kirsten Dunst. only this morning i realize that was an entirely different movie, Wimbledon.

i also…and i know this is going to make haley-o all too happy…might have a slight girl-crush on Scarlett Johansson. I never really understood the appeal…but last night i got it. the woman oozes sex appeal. oozes it.

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  1. Honestly? When I saw that photo of you my first thought was “wow, that’s a really great picture of Ali.”

    Then I read your self-critique underneath. Maybe, just maybe, you’re a little too hard on yourself?

    So if Moses lives in the Torah, where does Lego Luke Skywalker live? In the computer, or in the game box?

    [Reply]

    Comment by SciFi Dad on June 8, 2007
  2. totally love the glasses! great quote from Joshie!

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    Comment by age on June 8, 2007
  3. TOLD YOU SO!!! Scarjo is definitely the sexiest celeb girl. And, ME TOO — Matchpoint TOTALLY made me think that about her.

    On the other hand, Jonathan Rys Meyers does NOTHING for me. But, he was fab in that FAB movie. LOVED that movie!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE the Veras!!!! You look totally hott, girlie! Wow. LOVE THEM!

    I laughed SO HARD at that dialogue between Emily and Josh. TOO funny! Moses lives in a box but not in Toronto — like she KNOWS! ;) Too funny.

    Sorry Em has to take drops. Suckage. Is it for forever? Or just temporary?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on June 8, 2007
  4. He is indeed. I’m going to have to watch that movie now.

    And I thought the glasses were so cute that I didn’t even notice your nose. You were nose-less to me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sadie on June 8, 2007
  5. Love the specs!

    My husband also refuses to take pics of me so I either have an arm in the shot or my 5 year old taking a pic at an unflattering angle.

    My 5 year old is the drama king and is on a nasal spray…total suckage – makes a brazilian seem like a cakewalk some days!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lesley on June 8, 2007
  6. welcome to the Scarlett Johansson crush club, their is plenty of room here, once Haley-o moves over of course ;)

    You look good in your Vera Wangs.

    Hey, Josh could have said Tora Bora, which would have been way worse

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sparky Duck on June 8, 2007
  7. Dig the glasses. And it’s odd. I’ve always been under the impression that Moses DID live in Canada.

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    Comment by Chris on June 8, 2007
  8. I love the glasses and JRM.

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    Comment by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah on June 8, 2007
  9. Good call on Johnathan Rhys Meyers… have you seen Bend it Like Beckham? Hot there too.

    Ok, and you’re beautiful. And your glasses are hot too. And your nose? It does NOT look like Walter Matthau’s at all… that is until you look at yours and then his and then yours and then his and then ya, I guess it does. But it’s ok… cus it’s just your nose. And not your whole face. Imagine if your whole face looked like his.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jasmine on June 8, 2007
  10. yeah, i’m a member of the scarlett fan club, too. she is HOT. and hilarious, too – did you see her when she hosted SNL? one of my fave episodes. :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by lara on June 8, 2007
  11. Ali was jonathan rhys meyers in some strange fantasy series on space channel?was it called gargamel it was cool and i think he was the bad guy

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on June 8, 2007
  12. that would be gormenghast my fave thing i’ve seen him on.had to go google it and find out right name

    [Reply]

    Comment by LAVENDULA on June 8, 2007
  13. honey. your nose could be a pineapple and you would be beautiful. honestly. your nose is not even making the table as an issue.

    do you think emily and my littlegirl could be twins separated at birth?????

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    Comment by crazymumma on June 8, 2007
  14. love your blog

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    Comment by tkkerouac on June 9, 2007
  15. Im so glad I was sent over here.You have a great way with words

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    Comment by amy on June 9, 2007
  16. JRM is mine, I saw him first!!!! LOL
    seriously, he plays Henry VIII on the Tudors on showtime. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOT!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristi on June 10, 2007
  17. Those glasses fit you to a “T”!!!! You look beautiful, sophisticated, & stylish!!!

    I’m having a WORST Father of sorts….come check it out….even if your dad is Father of the Year!

    http://www.fenicle.com

    [Reply]

    Comment by Fenicle on June 10, 2007
  18. I thought Match Point was the Wimbledon movie too. Can you imagine how traumatised I was when it all went Woody Allen on me?
    I am still kind of mad at Haley for recommending it as I am sooooo traumatised. Really. I’m not kidding
    And as a result he totally creeps me out.
    yep, I’m nuts.

    [Reply]

    Comment by lisa b on June 12, 2007
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