~~Nicolas Cage is mentally unstable. naming his kid Kal-el?? poor, poor kid.

~~Lindsay Lohan gets into yet another accicent – her second in 6 months. what is wrong with these celebrities?? hmm…must have something to do with all the drugs and alcohol….

~~Jessica and Nick spilt. oh, wait, no they don’t. no, no, i’m wrong. they do. make up your minds already.

~~Paris Hilton joins a long line of celebs who pee their pants…

~~The Shining is no longer a scary movie. this is hysterical!!