August 16 04

So, my daughter decides that the best place to dispose of her empty bottle is down her toilet. Brilliant. Of course, not only did she do this, but she didn’t tell us until three days later. Usually, this wouldn’t be a problem because that toilet is used so infrequently.

but, of course, we had houseguests this week.

I think one of my biggest fears is being in someone’s house and overflowing their toilet. Lucky for me though, my grandfather was a plumber and he taught us a good trick. Or maybe Gav taught me the trick. i’m not sure where it came from. Either way, it’s a good bit of advice. Never flush twice. People panic when the water doesn’t go down so they flush again before the water has a chance to refill itself. that’s when the toilet overflows. So…all you people with the same fear as me, and i suspect there are several of you…don’t panic and flush twice.

Fortunately for them, and for us, the toilet didn’t overflow. But, they did come downstairs looking for a plastic Sobey’s bag. We still don’t know what they were doing up there with the bag…and i’m not so sure that i want to know…but now we have to get a plumber in to fix the toilet. argh.

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  1. Top 10 toilet quotes of all time:

    Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
    Ace Ventura: See that you do. If I’d been drinking out of the toilet, I might’ve been killed.

    Austin Powers in Goldmember
    Fat Bastard: [looking at the toilet] What? I didn’t have any corn!

    Basic Instinct:
    Psychologist: Nick, when you recollect your childhood, are your recollections pleasing to you?
    Nick: Number 1, I don’t remember how often I used to jerk off, but it was a lot. Number 2, I wasn’t pissed off at my dad, even when I was old enough to know what he and mom were doing in the bedroom. Number 3, I don’t look in the toilet before I flush it. Number 4, I haven’t wet my bed for a long time. Number 5, why don’t the two of you go fuck yourselves; I’m outta here.

    The Big Lebowski
    The Dude: My… my wi-, my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I’m fucking married? The toilet seat’s up, man!

    Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
    Larry The Cable Guy: I had a rough night. I had a dream that I drank the world’s biggest margarita, and I woke up – there was salt around the toilet bowl. That’s not good right there. Thank goodness I didn’t eat the worm at the bottom, I’ll tell you that right now.

    The Brady Bunch Movie
    Mr. Steve Yeager: One time I was over there. One bathroom for nine people? And I never did see a toilet.

    Christmas in South Park
    S.D. Kluger: [singing] We’ve all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose/And we all know Frosty who’s made out of snow/But all of those stories seem kind of gay/’Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo/Small and brown, he comes from you/Sit on the toilet, here he comes/Squeezin’ ‘tween your festive buns.

    Finding Nemo:
    [talking of a fish who'd been flushed]
    Bloat: Took a ride on the porcelain express.

    Meet the Parents
    Bob Banks: What is that smell?
    Greg Focker: That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den so the sceptic tank overflowed.
    Greg Focker: I told you, Jack, it wasn’t me, it was Jinx.
    Jack Byrnes: FOCKER, I’m not gonna tell you again. Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He’s a cat for Christ sakes!
    Larry: The animal doesn’t even have thumbs, Focker.

    The Simpsons
    Homer Simpson: Barney, you know that cooler I gave you for your birthday? Well, Flanders wants it back.
    Barney: Now, what am I gonna use for a toilet?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Giblet on August 16, 2004
  2. Celexa and alcohol….

    Celexa cytomel. Celexa level of drug. How long do celexa withdrawal symptoms last. Celexa. Celexa anxiety. Side effect for celexa….

    Trackback by Celexa. on February 20, 2008
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