Here’s the set-up. I’m in the shower, with the door open, so i can watch the kids eating their cheerios and watching Blue’s Clues on my bed.
“Mommy, i’m going to wear this dress to camp today.” Emily says three times. i can’t hear her because the shower is running.
“No – you aren’t wearing that dress – it’s way too small and it’s too fancy.”
a minute later
“Mommy, i’m going to wear this shirt and this skirt to camp.”
“No – you aren’t. You can wear that shirt, but that skirt is too fancy to wear. how about when i get out we pick a pair of shorts.”
“No!!!” Heaven forbid i should force her to wear shorts.
“Emily, most normal children wear shorts to camp.”
30 seconds later she shows up wearing a shirt with a flower pattern on it and a skirt with polka dots.
I open the closet door.
“No,” i say, only imagining what the floor in her room looks like right now because she’s most likely dumped out all of her drawers.
“First of all, it doesn’t match. why don’t you wait until i get out of the shower, when we can actually hear each other, and i’ll pick you a nice jean skirt to go with that pretty shirt you picked out?” See, i can compromise.
“No! i don’t want to.”
“Okay, here’s the deal. i’m going to finish my shower now. i do not want to be interrupted again. Go and finish watching Blue’s Clues with Joshie and when i get out we will talk about it.”
silence is golden.
“Mommy! Joshie’s hitting me! Ah! Joshie don’t touch me!” the rest is inaudible because i’m behind my shower door.
I get out of the shower, not finished, mind you. I’m pretty sure only one leg leg got shaved today – possibly one and a half.
“That’s it! Why can’t you guys give me 5 minutes of peace so i can take a shower in the morning???!!!” i yell. i’m trying very hard these days NOT to resort to yelling, but occasionally they test my patience way too much in the mornings.
We go to Emily’s room and i pick out a pair of khaki shorts from last summer. I knew better this summer than to buy her new shorts that she was never going to wear. She put them on, surprisingly without a fuss.