I guess it’s safe to say that you can add THE NAP to things of which I am a huge fan. I have been bitching about fighting whatever this sickness is that has no name other than plague. Because, well, the symptoms are kind of ridiculous. It’s not quite swine flu, it’s not quite cold, it’s not quite a sinus infection, and it’s not quite the stomach flu. It’s kind of a combination of them all.

And it certainly didn’t help matters that for more than half of the day yesterday I was googling “how to unclog a toilet” and don’t you look at me like that judgey mcjudgeypants, I’m not that much of a princess. I DO, in fact,  know how to use a plunger…but, you all, this was a doozy. I had asked the kids not to use the toilet because I knew. As soon as the husband goes away, things go to hell. (that’s Martell’s Law. It’s like Murphy’s, only worse.) But, of course, a child who was half-asleep forgot all about the bathroom rules and proceeded to pollute the thing. OF COURSE. So, sadly, this process took more than just a plunger. It took TWO. and a bucket and a wire hanger. oh, yes, not since Faye Dunaway did Joan Crawford was there ever an uglier hanger scene.

But, wonder of wonders, I fixed it all by myself. And rewarded myself with a giant DO NOT ENTER sign and seventeen rounds of handwashing and some leftover Chinese food that I didn’t get to eat the first time around, well, because of the whole almost stomach flu thing. Well, I would have rewarded myself with Chinese food if someone in the house hadn’t eaten the leftovers. Although, it was a blessing in disguise…because that whole tummy roulette (TM Metalia) game I would be playing? not worth it. I’ll stick to Ritz crackers and bread, thanks. (but! huzzah! yay for being one pound away from my goal weight!)

BUT, I am Mario! Except, you know, without the mustache. Although I DID try to grow one for Movember, because the husband quit on November 4th (quitter) and I wanted to show him up. but, you know, lucky for me and my German roots, I am blessed with a hairless upper lip.

My Grandpa Lou would have been proud. I mean, he even left me his drain snake in his will. Plumbers take their tools VERY seriously. I mean, I got the plumbing tools and the husband only got the giant Chai-laden belt buckles.

Obviously, he LOVED ME MORE.