I recently started making my bed every day.

I don’t know why I never did this before. I can’t really even quantify to you how much satisfaction this 5-7-minute activity leaves me with. Also, it makes me feel like an adult, in the same way consistent flossing does. Like, it makes me want to call my mom and tell her not to remind me to take an umbrella when rain is forecasting. “I can handle the weather, Mom. Did you hear? I’m an adult now!”

(We won’t discuss how raising three humans and home ownership are probably kind of, sort of adult-like endeavors…)

Grown-ups make their beds! Without having to be asked! It feels like the makings of a Robert Munsch book.

I guess it sort of makes up for my frat-boy like habits, like, say, eating three slices of cold pizza at 10am.

And falling asleep — and walking out at intermission — during a theater performance. To be fair to me, it was slightly repetitive and weird, and when they brought out the CGI CHOIR I just couldn’t really take it anymore. Also, I had made the mistake of over-caffeinating the night before and was up until 4am watching old episodes of Friends and the first half of Nebraska. I had a good snooze and then left, as the rest of the people who were enjoying the show didn’t need to see my drool and/or hear my snoring.

And I did stay within the Irish theme and went next door and ordered a giant Irish Coffee, so I was able to keep it cultural.

But now I make my bed, so.

Pretty soon I’ll start consistently wearing my nightguard and then WATCH OUT.