Last week, I was telling a newly-minted mama that it gets better.

That your kids grow up and become less physically demanding.

You no longer have to change diapers and wipe butts and do the dreaded “omg do you have to pee?” every five seconds on your first few outings after potty training. You get to stand outside the public bathroom and wait for you little one, handing over the purell after she returns.

You no longer have to bathe your children and get soaking sleeves and sore knees — you get to send them to shower on their own and you get 5-7 minutes to check your email.

You no longer have to play the carseat game. I remember one sad, sad day in my early days of having two babies under two and there was no milk in the house and in the dead of the Toronto winter, I decided that bundling the two younglings up in their giant puffy snowsuits and carrying them out to the car and buckling them in, taking them into the store, juggling two kids and one milk bag with only two hands was just not worth it the Martell kids were just going to drink water that fateful day. Now I just unlock the doors of the car and those children just pile into the car and buckle themselves. It’s glorious really.

AND SWIMMING LESSONS.

That you get to drop your kids off at the pool change room doors and pick them up at the same place an hour later. You don’t have to change into flip flops in the dead of winter just to walk out onto the pool deck. Or, if you are me, you don’t have to forget to bring your flip flops and get yelled at when you dare tiptoe onto the pool deck in your winter boots. You don’t have to get in the pool with your children, and those bloated swim diapers are sure as heck no longer in your vocabulary. You don’t have to bargain with three children to take their pre-swim shower whilst they whine and cry that the shower is always freezing.

You just get to sit and play on your phone for an entire blissful hour. And you can write this blog post in peace.