this morning i sat in the Tim Horton’s drive-thru (hoping to win my 5th free coffee..i mean, i would be okay winning the Venza, but i’m just happy with the free coffees seeing as how it’s about 4 more coffees than i won last year..) behind a car with vanity plates that said…get this…SWEATY. i swear to god. SWEATY.
what? really? sweaty? either it’s someone who is ESL and thought she was spelling sweety…or it’s very scary Olga the trainer. because last night? dude. i was SWEATY. working out with a trainer is WAY different than working out on your own. They make you do shit that makes you cry.
(in my defense, i only cried once. okay, maybe twice)
but, there were many balls used to help my core…which, surprisingly, Olga said was GREAT. thanks, Mari Winsor and your effing V-sit position. but, Mari never made me use a giant medicine ball while in the v-sit. Ouch, Olga. also, hi! i’m new to the treadmill but i like to set it on, um 3.7. Olga likes to make me run in intervals of 3.7 AND 6.5. WHAT? who does she think i am? a runner? i get winded about 30 seconds of running.
i hate you Tyra Banks for making a fool out of yourself in your Caesar’s Palace themed season of ANTM…my abs are cursing you out this morning. GODDESS OF FIERCE? more like, um, goddess of cheese (mmm..cheese) i love me some Freckle Fo…but is there something wrong with me that i thought she was Asian? when she said she was, um, blaxican? is that what she said? i was all, what?
also…there’s only so much longer i’ll be able to look at Celia Martha Plimpton. for serious.
also? can we talk about olives for a moment? the smell of olives? VOMIT.
also? last night Josh tells me “mommy, i’m SO off of the blondies right now” he means girls with blond hair…not the delicious bars i bake for him. (again. ABS? OUCH) he’s six. and apparently, into dark-haired girls. and then he asked to cuddle with me and watch High School Musical. he didn’t need to tell me which girl was his favorite. (also? my son has never asked to watch anything that wasn’t Star Wars or Indiana Jones or Superhero or Pokemon related) when did he discover girls?