I just chased my garbage cans down the street. In my pajamas. It’s windy as hell in the Toronto nosebleeds today, and of course, it’s garbage day. And since we were away for a really, really long time we are using our extra garbage tags that we bought from the city. Oh yes. We have a three-bin, once-every-two-week limit here in our fair city. But, um, sometimes that just doesn’t fly when you have three kids and a dog. Also, I have become a fairly efficient with my blue bin and with my green bin (sometimes referred to as “the stink box”), but still, I cannot be one of those a-holes who puts out one tiny grocery store bag of garbage. How on earth do they do this? Where does all their garbage go? It must be trash gnomes or something. There is no other logical way.

Anyway, so, yes. My pants are grey and covered in giant white hearts and yes I am wearing Hello Kitty rain boots and I have Jersey Hair. But you know what? I’ll take it. Because last night, while people I know and love were worried about finding shelter during tornadoes, I was sitting on my behind watching Survivor and being disturbed by the word “BIRTHERS” and constantly refreshing the weather network pages to make sure my loved ones in Atlanta and Nashville were safe. So, you know, perspective.

There’s something mildly comforting in the fact that extreme weather doesn’t really happen around these parts. Tornadoes? No. Tsunamis? No. Hurricanes? Uh uh. They all skip right over Ontario because they probably assume that we suffer enough with our shitty weather. Seriously.

I recently got this lovely little gift as a You’reGoingBackToWork present.

And, whatever, it might not be a 30th birthday car surprise, but it is like a dream come true for me. I have been drooling over this lens ever since I started learning how to really use my camera. By this I mean taking the GIANT LEAP from that little AUTO button to start using the dreaded and scary MANUAL functions. I am still learning, obviously, but it doesn’t take much digging through my old pictures to notice that my skills are getting better. I am relying less on photoshop actions and more and more on my eye. I read lots of tutorials and test them out; I change settings to see the differences they make. My camera and I are a team, feeling each other out.

And all I want to do is take my three children to this amazing old abandoned barn and shoot the hell out of them with my new lens.

Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, the weather gods think it is, because ever since I opened the box on this lovely thing, it has rained, snowed, hailed, snowed, and rained again. You know, Isabella and I have been singing that Annie song every single day but you know what? ANNIE AND DADDY WARBUCKS ARE LIARS! The sun will not come out tomorrow! It’s all lies! Sure, she gets adopted and doesn’t have to clean an orphanage and be punished in a closet and gets to live in the lap of luxury with her Daddy Warbucks so I can see why she’s so chipper and all…but really…

there is no sun.

My mayonaise-colored skin and my trigger fingers need some sun.

Or at least a little less wind.